Happy Valentine's Day / TMI Tuesday

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or think it’s a consumer-oriented, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance, just have yourself some fun by answering these TMI Tuesday questions.
(For the record, I have both celebrated Valentine's Day as a reason to remind those I love of my warm and fuzzy feelings and also cursed the day with bitter words. Depends on the year, but mostly I enjoy the holiday. Of course it's consumer-oriented. Manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance? *cringes* Nooooo. You're doing it wrong or just plain shouldn't be doing it at all if that's how it plays out for you.)

1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot? Uncontrollable desire, you say? Easy answer : Od. His desire is far too controlled for my liking. Since a desperate man is a willing man, then I want him shaking, begging, and dripping with need. Then I could pull out a few toys that he shies away from.  ;)

2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:

1- “Your patience will be rewarded.”  What would you like that reward to be? For Od to dig the strap-on and harness out of the drawer and beg me to fuck him like I haven't in far too long.

2- “Try something new.”  What is the something new you want to try? Rimming.

3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.”  What would you like to give? A ruined orgasm. I'd rather give than receive those any day.  ;)

3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?
I loved you then
I love you still
I always have
I always will.

4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s day or is it just another day? We'll be doing something for Valentine's Day, I'm just not sure when. Tonight will be the PG version even though we get some time to ourselves early this evening. Probably just a casual night out for dinner. Od is still recuperating from his "love bug" (eww, that sounds like a quaint term for an STI) so nothing too vigorous or ambitious. Hopefully next weekend.

5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what? My tits. Milk chocolate, of course.

Bonus:
You can make your own valentine heart candy. What is your message? (Go to this link. Create your candy. Post the generated Valentine candy on your blog) I had a lot of fun creating bossy kinky messages. I think I'll spend the day texting them to my sweetie. My favorites :





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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Love Bug

The actual day that Valentine's falls on this year is little more than afterthought to those who would celebrate it. Sure, there will still be cards passed and boxes of chocolate left to be discovered, and many couples will be turning down the sheets earlier than usual. But the weekend is the best time to celebrate when the holiday falls mid-week. Bigger plans can be made. Relaxed dinners without the stress of a work day. Late night out. More drinks. Possibly even sneaking away for the entire weekend, should you find yourself that lucky.

I made it clear that I hoped for a repeat of last year. Simple really. Hotel room. Jacuzzi bath. Me. Him. Accessories. And lots and lots of loud, fun, deviant sex.

As far as our kids were concerned we were going to be spending the evening in the city dining at an upscale restaurant and staying the night because we didn't want to drink and drive. In reality we were going to be 10 minutes away shacking up and getting down and dirty. Just how I wanted it, too. *sigh.......* It was not to be.

Wisely, I did a quick verbal check-in last week to mention our Valentine's plans. I was leaving the planning to him and I was getting nervous because 1.) he's terrible at any combo of remembering/planning and 2.) I needed these plans to happen like you wouldn't believe, so forgetting was NOT an option. When he stuttered his response about thinking that Valentine's weekend was the following weekend, my high hopes lost their footing for a minute. I regrouped, corrected his misunderstanding, and did the thing I do where I begin calculating the odds of things working out how I'd imagined. Odds were still in my favor. Until Friday.

Our dog has nothing on me when it comes to being alerted by the sounds of someone approaching. I can tell who's in the driveway based on the engine, and I know exactly who is going to walk in the door based solely on the jingle and scrape of their keys as they attempt entry. Imagine my surprise, concern, dismay, and even more concern when I hear Od's keys shortly after lunchtime. He should not be home. Before I can find him I hear the bathroom door being slammed shut. "This is probably not good" I think to myself. And when I see him emerge wearing only half his clothes, a sheen of sweat, and a green complexion as he walks right past me to the kitchen for a glass of water before he heads right back to the bathroom and slams the door again I know for sure my weekend plans went right down the shitter. Along with Od's lunch. And breakfast. And whatever else he'd eaten in the last week, apparently. I mutter an all encompassing "fuuuuuu-uck", then resign myself to new plans. Good thing that room hadn't been booked after all.

I get him squared away in the bedroom, then begin my weekend long damage control. I text daughter to NOT let her boyfriend get dropped off at our house, then promise to make it up to her later. I run errands to the bank, the grocery, and the library after warning the kiddos to save themselves and avoid their dad and that particular bathroom. Upon asking for help with the groceries, daughter informs me she doesn't feel well. This could be due to a myriad of things : she drank too much chocolate milk, has cramps, is tired, would rather avoid having to actually be helpful, or......really doesn't feel well. After grumbling through the grocery unloading with the forced labor of my other teenager I soon found out. She really didn't feel well.

Patient #2 required a bit more hand holding and coddling than the first. While I discouraged her from showering and taking up valuable bathroom time (I was trying to keep things quarantined and one speck of vomit in the hair does not constitute needing a shower) I noticed her phone on the sink. It was on. Puking your guts out does not mandate a need to abandon a conversation, it seems. I took a moment to discuss the inappropriateness of phones in the bathroom - EVER - to her. The things that poor boy must have heard over the phone.

I quickly moved on from silently lamenting my lack of sexy weekend plans and went into self defense mode. I battened down in the t.v. room with my laptop, some DVDs, and snacks. I would have slept in there if sleep was possible on the lumpy beast that serves as our couch. I held off until 4 a.m. before I cautiously crawled into bed fully clothed and facing away from Od.

Lysol wipes, Oust, and Clorox were my best friends this past weekend. My only Valentine action so far was Sunday,  playing chaperone to my daughter and her boyfriend as I took them out to eat and to the movies to make up for their lost plans on Friday. Daughter snapped back to health like only kids can while Od is still suffering and hanging onto his intestinal misery like only he can.

Late last night I was weighing the odds again in my head of maybe attempting some semblance of a date on Tuesday night if Od feels any better by then. Any crazy, hot, hotel sex will have to wait for next weekend at the earliest. As I lay in bed and mentally prepped myself for the Monday task of sanitizing the entire house I heard the bathroom door slam down the hall. Patient #3. The kid whose own doctor wouldn't even know him because it's been so long since he's been sick is now sick. Violently. In the bathroom. All night.

It's now Monday and all signs are still good from me. I know I'm probably cursing myself for even typing that sentence. There's probably multiplication and mutation of unwelcome varieties going on inside me right now. Time will tell. I hope I make it out alive.

Silverstein and Seuss

These two. Geniuses they are. *sigh*



There's a slew of uneducated opinions I could string together about being brave enough to try and get what you want out of life and the beauty of finding acceptance. In a post on my anonymous blog. I'm smart enough to note and appreciate the irony. Just take these wise words for what they are : basic and true.  Happy Friday. Happy life. That is all.

*kiss*

Stormy

After work, before dinner - which have been later and later, it seems - we have alone time. Meant for the purpose of catching up on our day and having a snuggle. Clothes are stripped off and we meet each other in the bed, assuming the familiar positions. As I looked at him lying there, all warm and fuzzy, his chest exposed I was struck with a desire. It was immediate and intense and I needed to kiss him, to climb onto the bed, kneel over top of him, grab his face and just take the kiss I wanted. He responded with a like need. Combustion ensued.
I moved to straddle his leg for better friction.
My hand grabbed his and held it above him on his pillow.
His other hand reached behind me and - oh! - grabbed my hair. That's new. Hmm. I liked that. A slight tug. Oh, I really liked that. My body responded with a flood of moisture.
The more I moved against his leg the more my hip moved against his eager cock.
I looked down between our bodies.
A brighter need flashed.
I leaned higher with my body to rub my breasts in his face. His mouth knew what to do. I received another subtle hair pull as a thank you. More wetness.
Releasing his hand I told him to stroke his cock for me. With my body pressed so closely to him I had to watch over my shoulder now.
I whispered over him how wet I was, how watching him turned me on. My hair was abandoned and his fingers travelled down my back, over the curves of my ass in between my legs to check for himself.
My hips began moving again, this time against his fingers. The evidence of just how aroused I was sounded quietly in the room with his stroking and my teasing words.

"How long has it been since you've had your own hand on your cock like that?"
"I like the way it looks. I should have you put on a show for me more often."
"Does that feel good? It looks like it does. Too bad you won't get to cum right now."

All questions answered with nods or groans. He's too greedy to let his mouth go from me.
I sense his breathing change, his core tightening, and his motions faltering. He's close.

"Don't stop. I like watching you. Do what you have to do, but don't cum."

With that order his body relaxes, his breathing calms, and his hand slows. Well, one of them does.
The other hand pushes more forcefully into me as if to punish me for teasing.
After a few minutes he's had enough.
His mouth releases me, he stops stroking, and pulls his hand away, and asks me to face the other way.
I'm still leaning over his torso, but looking at his very angry, very weepy cock.
My head lolls and my eyes roll when I feel his fingers inside me again with renewed vigor and the advantage of better positioning. My pussy and my g-spot take a pounding. My hips meet his hand thrust for thrust as I rest my cheek on his thigh and watch the precum drip from his body in a continuous stream. My fingers want to play in it, so they do.
Then I hear it. He says something about my pussy, but no - he calls it my cunt. What he said doesn't register, but the use of that word from him, the first that I can recall it - that definitely registers. I feel the effects as I clench tighter onto him. His hand is relentless. It's too much really, but also just right. I take out my intense responses on his thigh, my teeth begging to sink into flesh, but settling on restrained bites while my nails leave a series of smiles on his calves. My breathing stutters and I know if it weren't for the blood rushing in my ears causes temporary deafness I could hear the sobs choking from me. The sensations that roll through me wrack my body with spasms that leave me on the verge of joyous tears and utter exhaustion. When I cum, I cum hard. My satisfaction drips down his wrist and leaves a wet spot on the sheets. Not the first time, not the last.

And we're nowhere near done.

By the end of the night he has :

• taken me bent over the edge of the bed while he restrained my arms to my sides and used my wrists as pulls
• encouraged me to ride his face as he devours me and fucks me with a dildo
• continued with the dildo as I play with a vibrator
• slid into me while he's occupied with my tit in his mouth, taking from me in both places
• tucked me into the still-damp-needs-changing-in-the-morning sheets with a goodnight kiss

All this could have easily been stretched throughout a week, but as I lay there in bed pondering the source of our combined sexual energy and the force behind it I can hear drops outside. They fall faster and harder and louder. I strain to be certain of what I think I hear. Then the rumbling begins and minutes later a flash of lightning. He's already breathing deeply and sleeping or else I'd share my discovery. I've always had a physical reaction the energy of a rainstorm. There's excitement, intensity, and a raw, primal feeling that often ends.....just exactly as it had this particular evening. Weather wise, I did not know it was coming but my body must have picked up on it. Most times the storm announces itself. This time we announced the storm.



Dirty

20 years with the same lover renders words unnecessary during the tangling, twisting, touching, tasting, and taking that happens in private moments. Our kisses, bites, sighs, grunts, wiggles of hips, and the grasping, pushing, and pulling say all that we need to say. Really, it's a well choreographed dance once we agree on the music and the stage.

At first I was too young, too timid to say the words. Bold in action only. And to hear the gentle, erotic words that he tried on for size in a tentative manner made me blush. They just didn't work for me. So I assumed the words ineffective.

Then a long, long time passed when the words were silenced. No more words. Just actions. Perfunctory, mostly pleasurable, stolen in the middle of the night, not quite often enough actions.

Then the actions disappeared as well.

Now. Now? Now... I am not so young. My boldness knows no bounds. The words are erotic, demanding, directing, degrading, dirty, dirty words. Now I think I make him blush. Now the words work for me. Those dirty words have a welcome place of comfort on my lips and in my ears.

My dirty words match my dirty deeds and my dirty thoughts.

It's been cleverly pointed out to me that I say cunt instead of pussy when I get close to orgasm. The higher the lust, the filthier the mouth, I suppose.

I remember clearly the night  I goaded him to confess in his own words that he enjoyed fucking my face. Strange delight I took in that.

Then there was the incident in which I admonished him while laying into his ass with flogger, crop, and wooden spoon. The filth flowed.

I tease him with my words. I like seeing a flicker of shock, or a gleam of lust in his eyes.

Dirty words are no empty promise from this dirty girl. I have every intent, and every ability to back them up.

I've even heard in my own head a chorus of filth being spoken to me as he is too busy, too concentrated on his task to offer them himself. I find the need for him to speak them again. In the moment, the zone (all ladies know the zone), I grasp for the thing to push me over the edge. Sometimes it is an image of a memory - real or fantasized - but sometimes.....I've discovered that I need the words that were once spoken and dismissed. With the return of our actions, I'm ready to hear the words again.

TMI Tuesday Hoo Doo and Tumblr Tuesday

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

1. Play naked twister with? Who? Oh that'simple. I have to want to see you naked and you have to want to see me naked. Also, no quitters or sore losers. Other than that, I'm easy. ;)

2. Love? There's a quote from a Jane Austen work that I recently came across and I think it describes me perfectly. "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves; it is not my nature." Whether family-friends, romantic-friends, or just friendly-friends, when you have my love you know it.

3. Excites you beyond belief? Men who willingly admit what they want. The ones who are brave enough, desperate enough to confess those unspoken wishes, to intimately share vulnerabilities. The ones that strip away all pretenses and reveal the tender underbelly of their personal truths. Honesty and trust is a very sexy, exciting thing.

4. Enjoy ass play with? I enjoy ass play with Od. I only wish he enjoyed it more. It's more my thing than his, I think. Both giving and receiving. I'm stealing a term from LM when I say I'm "ass erotic". Everything feels good back there. And while not too long ago I might have pulled faces at the thought, I've recently become slightly obsessed with the idea of rimming. Mostly receiving. But you know...I give as good as I get. ;) It doesn't help my obsession that a certain someone promises to take care of me thoroughly in that department. Such a dirty, filthy tease he is.

5. Shower with? I've had shower sex maybe twice. It's nice, but there's a continuous chant in my head of "pleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslip". It's much better in fantasy than in reality I think. Or I just need a better shower. That may be the trick. Or getting those shower grips specifically made for shower sex. But the showering part? Actually showering under the steamy water, skin pinking from the heat and sharing the lather with roaming hands, soft moans and sighs from the utter relaxation of being pampered? I would do that with anyone. No kidding. You do me. I do you. Good clean fun.

6. Undress? I find it awkward to undress someone else. Maybe the idea has been tainted by all the years I spent wrestling willful children in and out of their clothes. I'd much rather you undress yourself. Slowly. While I watch.

7. Rim? Like I said before in 4 - I give as good as I get. And like I said in 5 - You do me. I'll do you.

8. Elope with? If the possibility of a second marriage were to ever come up, I don't think I'd elope. Again.

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why? I don't actually like being in the arms of anyone. It's a control thing. I get too hot, I tend to flip back and forth a lot, I don't enjoy breathing in my face or in my ear. I know.....I'm difficult. It really is not much fun to sleep with me. Unless you prefer to be cuddled yourself. I like to be the big spoon instead of the little spoon. I'll curl up to Od's back and with my hands in all the right places I'll fall asleep within minutes. I also like butt to butt cuddling. When we have the opportunity to sleep in and wake naturally without alarms this is how we usually are. Butt to butt, still touching, me rooted up against him. Until one of us rolls over. When it's me rolling into him it's because I want to fall back asleep. When it's him rolling into me it's because he wants a warm place to put his morning wood.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Moving onto the Tumblr Tuesday portion of this post, I found a picture that intrigued me, impressed me and grossed me out all at the same time. I'm not sure if it's real, but surely it must be, right? I don't know. Tell me what you think :

I can't source it because the account disappeared.

The following photo is just hot. Some men know this move, some don't. All should.

I loved it so much, I unknowingly saved it twice!

Not sure if I ever mentioned it amongst my many Friday Facts, but I love Wonder Woman. As in, I wanted to desperately be her as a little girl.

Bonus points for being uber cool if this is a man. I can't tell.

I'm not sure where this guy flew in from, but he's sporting some awesome aviator gear!

I love tulips for their sleek beauty and those dark lovelies in front? My absolute favorites.

And because sometimes it's just the perfect response :

That concludes this weeks edition of Tumblr Tuesday. Hop on by Lola's to see what she's got or to play along! Hopefully it won't be another week before I've got something to share. *kiss*



TMI and Tumblr Tuesday 1/10/12

I was all set to play along with Lola today instead of participating in TMI.....when I saw what today's TMI topic was about. Well. Suffice it to say (cock fan that I am) I couldn't pass it up, so I'm combining them into one post. TMI is up first :

****MATURE CONTENT: This post is for adults only. Visit another Tuesday when things aren’t so sexy, if you are uncomfortable with sexuality.****

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why? Neither, and both. I'll explain that, but firstly I'll say that compatibility is most important. A person has to know their physical limits and their sexual desires before finding an outie to play with their innie. Got me? Now about that whole silly length versus girth argument.....is it too much to ask for perfectly proportionate? I'm no size queen (not judging if you are) but I really don't need more than 7 inches. If you're swinging more than that it doesn't allow close body friction which is key in getting me off because I don't use my hands on myself during sex, and trying to go in balls deep would just probably bruise my cervix. No thanks. Assuming that longer is better than shorter and that thicker is better than narrow, I'd choose longer and narrow over shorter and thick. I feel like I'm all over the map with my answers on this one, because so many variables are involved. Okay - final answer. Length. There I said it.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle? No.

3. Best place to put a penis? In a cage. LOL No...I kid, I kid. In my vag. I'm totally a PIV girl. Love the cock.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it? Probably masturbate all day. I'd want to experience a blowjob, but since that requires time to find someone willing (I hear that's hard to come by for most penis owners) that would take away my time from guaranteed pleasure (myself). I'd like to fuck Od in the ass. Am I still a woman with said penis? That would keep the sex hetero, right? Or are we now in Tranny territory? I know for a fact he would freak out about it. But yeah. I'd guessing I'd have more luck getting into his ass than his mouth if I had my own cock. Oh - and I want my cock to come intact also, so I can finally get some experience in playing with a foreskin. I would totally go commando all day. Hell, I'd probably go around naked all day. With my hand on my cock. I would have so much fun. 

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock This one. Who's not gonna say they want it tight? ETA: oh. I read that as a different type of tight with other lips. oops! I'll stick with this answer though, since I am a penis, instead of having a penis. This way, I'll lay back and not have to do the work for a change!
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often? Mine.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Okay, that was fun. and just so you know, I'm still imagining all the things I could do with my very own dick. Penis envy. It's a real thing.

I knew as soon as I saw this photo on tumblr I would be using it for this week. I gasped. My jaw dropped open. I wished for a time travel machine. Because him?

Add glasses and make those jeans buttonfly and you're looking at 22 year old Od. The hair, the beard, the body, the fur.....just everything. In fact, my eyes went directly to the left bicep looking for a scar. I was surprised to not see it. And to think just a couple of days ago I expressed my wishes to put a hurting on him. Not to say that present day Od is shabby. By no means. But 20 years has rendered him more........comfortable, shall we say? Me now + him then = both of us left in a panting, exhausted heap of blood, sweat, and tears. And when we could manage to pull ourselves up to walk away it would be with limps and matching smiles. Just sayin'.

This next photo just goes to show that black and white makes everything classy. Even something as wonderfully slutty as double penetration.

via

While we have such an extreme close up of balls (four of them, even) let's take a minute to address the grooming. This is one of two place where fur is not so welcome, in my opinion. Backs would be the other location. Other than backs and balls, feel free to go beastly. The reasoning behind this is sound, so hear me out. If you shave or trim them closely, your partners are more likely to want/agree to put their mouths down there. And that could lead to all kinds of fun adventures above or below the ball border. Whatever your thing is. Trust me on this one. Trust. Me. Other than that, all I can say about this photo is "Yes, please."

This a bit more tame, but the tumblrverse expands far and wide. You just never know what you'll find. I got a giggle out of this cutie.

via

If you like photos of animals and enjoy snarky humor then do yourself a favor and click in the via link under the squirrel. I'm not sure if I've recommended this guy's site before, but I visit it everyday for a dose of funny.

These are just awesome. Immediate artsy boner.

all 4 photos via

Who says blogs are a useless waste of time? I think they come in handy quite often. We could all learn something from the musing of others. This author who posted this? Yep. Genius.

Because it fits so well with the first part of my post, I thought I'd share with you what I think is the most perfect looking cock on the planet. And also what I'd want mine to look like. Seriously. It's like that thing just got unwrapped from the packaging, it's so perfectly smooth and shiny. And pretty. And, and, and.......unf. Okay. I'm done for. I have other things to do right now. ;)

Thanks for playing along!

*kiss*