Then and Now

Thank you to the TMI Tuesday reader who submitted the following THEN AND NOW questions. He wanted to remain anonymous.

1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you? Oh, wow, okay.....let's do some inventory : I like to think there's a natural course that women take in their sexual development, so the concepts that I'm now in my late 30s and using vibrators and toys in the bedroom doesn't embarrass me or that knowing my body very well and taking what I need from a relationship and being vocal about it are par for the course. If one is lucky.

I'll even go so far as to say that my love of receiving and giving anal sex, and my penchant for gay porn (while surprising to me just 3 years ago) is a part of the natural progression of my sexuality. I've said it many times : when one opens their mind to new ideas and possibilities, it's damn near impossible to close it back. Essentially, once you go kink, you'll do more than you think.

My 17 year old self (which is a perfect age, BTW, since it was a pivotal age for me) would be shocked at most of the kinky fuckery I get up to on a good day. She'd pull a skeptical face and ask "Really???" But she would be downright scandalized, dare I say pissed off at the idea of her pending marriage becoming anything less than 100% monogamous. Cheating and messing around a.k.a. "being intimate in any way with anyone else beside your partner", although hurtful, was part of the teenage boyfriend/girlfriend experience. I should know. I messed around a lot behind my boyfriends' backs. At a time in my life when I was tired of boys, I met a man who possessed all the qualities I'd been needing in a partner. Never mind that I was underage and he was 22. Within 4 months of dating him he asked and I said yes. I was never more sure of anything in my life, except for the fact that we were everything each of us would ever need.

So, fast forward to today when I openly flirt with men, lust after them, have unconventional friendships with men who are not my husband, and at one time have even participated in a D/s play partnership, all with the knowledge, blessing, and acceptance of my husband...I think my 17 year old self would be holding me down to stitch the letter A permanently and directly on my skin. My views on monogamy have been the biggest change for me because I held a deeply rooted opinion about it previously.

2. What one thing might shock that younger you? That at some point in the future, the person I loved the most and made me the happiest would also be the person I hated the most and made me the unhappiest. Inconceivable.

Oh, and that over 20 years later women's health and reproductive rights would be threatened with a possible backslide that would take them back to the 19th century. Also inconceivable.

3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia? Hands down, my body and his stamina. I'd love to travel back in time to my life then with my mind now. I have vivid flashbacks of the feel and sight of the hard flat planes of our abdomens gliding furiously against each other covered in sweat. There were times I had to wipe it away in order to get the friction I needed. We're both...shall we say...a little more comfortable to cuddle up with now. :)

4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled? I have yet to become a burlesque dancer, work as a naughty librarian, or take my husband back to Paris with me and fuck him senseless in the City of Lights. My only regret is the Paris thing.

Bonus: Give your 17 year old self a piece of sexual advice. Grow some ovaries and ask yor mother to take you to the doctor to go on the pill. She knows you're having sex, so stop being embarrassed to say it out loud so you can have reliable birth control, because dear, you suck at using condoms.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Big O, Little O, mine, or yours - I like 'em all

My first waking thought today wasn't *gasp* "It's 9/11" followed by swooping sentimentality of all that it means to live in the U.S. in the aftermath of what happened on this particular date years ago.

Instead, I woke to the thoughts of my hair appointment, my daughter's doctor's appointment, when I would squeeze the morning walk with the dog in, did a mental checklist of all my class prep work for tonight, and then I subtracted a few minutes from the "getting ready" column and added them to the "getting off" column.

On this date of September 11, 2012 I choose to celebrate the life affirming beauty that is all around me, with all of it's responsibilities, all of it's freedoms, all of it's simple joys, and I'm thankful for being able to do that. I'm living life how I choose to live it and I do what I can to be happy. That's how I respect the memory of people no longer with us, no matter the way in which they left us.

I prefer quiet observation rather than showy, public offers of respect.

So on this gorgeous day with a bright sunny sky and hardly any humidity to undo my new 'do, I took the scenic route on my walk, I gave an extra wide smile to fellow walkers, I played with my pup just a little longer and gave him a treat before breakfast just because I could, I revelled in the spare time I have today because I'm on top of my game and I'm ready for class, and also because I made an effort to start the day off relaxed and with a smile.

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The Big O

1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it. I can recall masturbating fairly young. Probably 7 or 8 years old. Not with any knowledge or expectation of results other than "when I do this thing it feels really good and I should probably keep this to myself". I don't remember if I had an orgasm that young. I do remember having them at age 11. I didn't know they were orgasms. I associated this fabled orgasm as a pleasurable part of sex with a partner. I wouldn't know that I had indeed been having orgasms until I was 17 and had my first partnered orgasm. I recognized the building sensation and was elated at figuring out that puzzle. It was an unforgettable moment of self discovery.

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc). Through deep penetration with body to body contact and clitoral stimulation. Currently that means that I was fucked with my Vixen Mustang dildo strapped into a knee harness with a bullet vibe pressed between us against my clit. Must. Do. That. More. Often. I was so drained that I couldn't move afterwards. God, I love his legs.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc). I'm pretty lucky and versatile as far as orgasms go. I've done a lot of personal exploration, and for all my frustrations in the anatomy/sexual pleasure department, I have a lot to be thankful for. However, I'd love to be able to experience multiple orgasms with a partner, the rolling, connected kind of orgasm after orgasm with out a vibrator.  I'm not wired that way, though, I don't think.  Also, if ever once in my life I experience an orgasm through double penetration involving two men and their cocks I would die an extremely happy woman.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?   I don't really have many sex dreams. I woke up once from a dream on the verge of orgasm, but the shock from having that particular dream chased it away. The sex dreams that I do have are vivid, usually bizarre, and I get more caught up in the storyline than the pleasure going on, or somehow my brain edits out the pleasurable parts. My sleeping brain is a cock blocking asshole. 

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? Usually by fantasizing about something from my taboo list. If I'm mentally aroused then it doesn't matter if I use my fingers (the least dependable of my methods) or my strongest vibrator.

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? I don't try. I just do. Or I don't. Usually it's at least one or two just to stay sane. Closer to 6-10 if I'm having a good week or I'm hormonal.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first? Yes, we've had simultaneous orgasms. It was fun and nice that we could experience that in the beginning of our relationship. We don't cum at the same time anymore. Well, rarely. This is for a lot of reasons. Our style of sex has changed drastically. Sometimes there's no penile penetration. What gets me off has changed drastically. Sometimes he's more of an assistant than a director. How long he can last during  has changed.  I'd like this to change but I work with what I've got. And sometimes, just sometimes, his orgasm isn't even on the menu. No matter the sex act that's going on, though, I've become a big fan of separate orgasms. I enjoy mine more thoroughly when it's just about me in that moment without any distractions. I don't feel like I'm missing out on my favorite show. And during his orgasm I prefer to be 100% present in the moment for him, so I can watch and listen.

In a mutual situation where both of us are aiming for an orgasm, though - I cum first.

8 – Can you have multiples? I can have more than one orgasm in an extended session using toys. Typically two is my limit unless I use my Panasonic "back massager", then I can go for more (last week I think I timed 6) but they are not as enjoyable as the two back-to-backs that I enjoy with other toys. Sometimes I'm just greedy and I like having more just 'cause I can, and I like the sweaty exhaustion from working so hard to get that many.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm? By myself, average is 5 minutes. Longer if my imagination is rusty or my iPhone takes a long time to buffer the video clip. With a partner it can be just as quick or take much longer if we're having an off day and not in sync.

10 – Have you ever faked one? Yep. I wish I could proudly state how dishonest and counterproductive it is to fake and that I've not done it, nor would I ever. The truth is, when I was younger and experimenting with sex acts I didn't have the courage to ask for what I wanted or to give directions if I needed a change. I was experiencing pleasurable feelings, regardless, and the only way I knew to express that was through faking it. It was immature and a clear sign that perhaps I wasn't ready for sex. But my offenses didn't end there. I've faked it plenty throughout my marriage. At times when I knew for certain that he was suffering a tender ego, and I didn't want to detract from his pleasure, I've faked it knowing that his unhappiness in not pleasing me might make him hold off longer on future encounters. Things have changed for us a lot in the past 2 1/2 years, where sexual pleasure and satisfaction does not always equal orgasm, and I'm honest and up front about everything now. In the long run I know this is better for us, even if there's still some frustrating days.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday

Hey there blog readers! Hello? Anyone still there? Oh - there you are. :)
I'm diving back into writing. I have some things to say, some stories to tell, and issues to get off my chest. I forgot how cathartic writing things out could be. I've been easily distracted by tumblr, along with the general distraction of not having any alone time for almost the entire summer. Whew! It's been way too long. In more ways than one, but I'll get to that later.....

Gettin’ Off

1. Have you ever initiated a booty call? I've participated in intentional hook ups, but that's different, I suppose. I can only recall one time in person where I initiated a booty call. I showed up at his door after work on a school night for the sole purpose of getting laid. He obliged me. Then sent me home so I wouldn't be late and get in trouble.

2. Have you ever accepted a booty call? Of sorts. I received an email from someone who needed help getting off to kill some time in an airport. I provided the words and scenario tailored to his likes and he was very grateful. I have the video as proof!

3. Ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend? The closest I've come to that is when I agreed to go to prom with Jeff if we were both single at the time (which we did) and somehow that morphed into a relationship. With benefits. So no, not really. Mostly I've been single, dating around, or in relationships. I could use a FWB, to be honest.

4. Tell us about your best one-night stand, what made it so good? This  is tricky...mostly because all my one timers were so long ago, but also because there were good and bad aspects to nearly all of them. I could easily pick the worst of all my singular encounters (Randy in the pool) but the best? Hmmm...surprisingly I'll go with Shawn. He was the slutty friend of my friend's boyfriend and we were drinking (hello lower inhibitions) and I was underage. It should have never happened, but I wasn't so young that I couldn't appreciate his comical attitude, his fun nature and the fact that he went down on me very well before he assumed it would be okay to wave his dick in my face. He in turn was appreciative of my burgeoning blow job skills. He even sang to me afterwards, praising me. He flattered me, showed me a good time, and made me laugh, even if he didn't make me cum. The only downside to the encounter was the brief period of time afterwards that I worried over the possibility of contracting an STI from him. Like I said, he was a slut.

5. When was your last one-night stand? August 1991 Navy Boy

6. What’s the grimiest, dirtiest place that you’ve had sex? I've had sex on a store floor before, but on a blanket so no, that doesn't count. In my car, but the front seat was tidy, so no. A pool - there's chlorine to kill bacteria. A shower - the epitome of clean fun. Outside in the grass perhaps but only my backside.....Wait. Nope. I got it. The time me and boyfriend #1 had sex doggy style in the middle of my childhood elementary school's playground field. My hands and knees ended up getting muddy and we had to walk uptown to the gas station (nearest public restroom) to clean up before going back to my house. My mother had eagle eyes and would notice any suspicious behavior once we returned.
 
Bonus: What’s the one random thing you wish your friends knew about you? I have a handful of very good friends. People that I let in already know the things I  wish they would know. It's hard to earn my trust and easy to lose it, so when I have a good friend, I'm an open book.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday 7/31/12

The Comfort and Thrill of Sex

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t really enjoy it.
e. I don’t enjoy it at all.
f. I have never given anal sex.
g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! Bend over for me baby. Penis, fingers, sex toys? YES TO ALL! (okay it's a proxy penis in the form of a dildo, but still...) There's a certain trust involved that I love, plus the added intensity of his orgasms are very nice. One of my goals is to give him a hands free orgasm through prostate play. He'll need to be more comfortable with his own ass before that ever happens, I think. It's a work in progress. We don't play with his ass enough to have figured out the magic combination.

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! I enjoy anal very enthusiastically, when the mood is right. I know my body well and listen to clues as to how I want to get off. I get a craving for anal play (for myself) maybe once a month.  I'm not above telling Od to use his fingers, to grab my plug, or to fuck me in the ass. It's better though when he offers it because he knows I enjoy it. Coincidentally, he offered last night and it was fanfuckingtastic! I've learned two curious things about anal stimulation for me : 1.) my pussy gets wetter than ever when something is placed in my ass. It makes no sense to me, but it's instantly soaked. 2.) once I cum, all placement and movement of whatever is in my ass needs to stop immediately. It goes from 'ohmygodthisisthebestthingEVER!!!' to 'okaystopgetitoutnowpleasegetitout!!!'. There is no such thing as round 2 with anal.

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?
a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.
c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.
e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.
f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.
I can't even remember what that feels like. I've not had a new lover in almost 21 years. (and Jesus, just typing that seems weird) It's not a turn on, because I have a thing about being watched. That in itself is strange because I'm a HUGE voyeur, but being watched closely, or silently, or intently almost makes my skin crawl. If I'm being touched, or there's talking or some other distraction it's not too bad. I don't really understand why this is. I have no problem being naked, getting naked, and lord knows I've done a strip routine a time or two...this is probably a topic better left to a therapist. ;) And I can't honestly say that it does nothing for me, because it does to an extent, plus it means there's most likely going to be sexy times. Woohoo! But the feelings are tempered with that dreaded feeling of being inspected. And it's not that I don't like it because I'm shy. I'm not a shy person. Like...at all. And we're all aware that most sex bloggers don't have many issues with natural acts being immoral or improper so that's definitely out. I'm drawing a blank on this one. Oh hey, I know! Maybe I need a new lover to try this out with and I can get back to you with an answer. Yes?

4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
(a.) I make a lot of sounds and am free with them. It turns Od on to hear me and I use my sounds to let him know when he's REALLY doing something right. Words tend to fail me in the actual act, so sounds are good. Loud sounds are better.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
Probably (a.) Curiously though, we do most of our dirty talking outside the bedroom. Our daily conversations are filled with innuendos and codes, and when the kids aren't nearby it's downright filthy. I say things often to test his boundaries and to gauge him sexually. I also like to threaten to do things to him. It's fun because it makes him smile this sweet little boy smile that is part amusement, part disbelief. He's come to find out that I'm not always joking. Foolishly, he admitted to liking me this way. It's our own mild version of consensual non-consent, if you will.

6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
Well, I don't squeak and I won't make your ears bleed, so I'm left with option (b.) That's not exactly right either. Maybe a growling wolf, if I've had a hard time chasing down an orgasm, but more likely a panting wolf. I do this breath holding thing when I get really close. Then when I actually cum, all bets are off as to the sound that comes out.

Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
Both. I want it all. The perfect situation is to have all these options. Some days it's lazy, reconnective, let me show you I love you sex, and other times there's a driving passion to pull out the bag of tricks, do some research on a new technique and fuck each other silly. I never want to get to a place where there's nothing new left. I do believe that the comfort and familiarity needs to come first, but the relationship doesn't need to stop there. I've said it before, but sex is like recess for adults. It's where we play and simply enjoy ourselves. Tag and hopscotch are great, but will get stale if that's all there is. I like swings, I like slides, I want the whole fucking playground. And maybe, just maybe, I want to share my toys and go play at a friend's house, too. ;)

*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Let's Go To Bed (yes, let's!!!)

Let’s Go To Bed

(Yes that is an invitation as well as a song by one of my fave groups The Cure. –Hedone)

The perfect bedroom. Sleep in cool sheets, have hot sweaty sex, take a dip to cool off. Rinse. Repeat.

Allow me to preface my answers with a few words. It should be alarming to me that I got excited and squealy over this week's TMI topic. Much more than last week's - and that was about kink. Y'all know how I feel about kink. The summer lazies have a tight grip on me and I've spent hours and hours in my bed relaxing, reading, hiding from my kids, trying out new toys, napping, watching movies, etc...I'm not even kidding when I tell you that the words "hey look.....I'm vertical!" have been announced to no one in particular as an actual  accomplishment.

I sincerely love my bed. Carrying on........

Most importantly it is the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Tell us about your bed.

1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)? My bed is a queen. If I had the room for it, it'd be a king, but our bedroom is close quarters as it is with the queen.

2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)? I'm the lucky owner of a Tempurpedic-Cloud Luxe. It's fucking spectacular. It's like a full body hug every time I lay down. I actually moan at times from the sheer pleasure of becoming horizontal.

3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe. Well - we removed the headboard and footboard (which had canopy posts that we never utilized) a long time ago "to make the room more spacious". That's what we said. What it really meant was : they squeak too loudly during sex and Freya strains the headboard too much by pushing on it! That was our old bed. On our new-ish bed we  have just the mattress and a weird platform base that needed somewhere to go other than the floor. We (and by we I mean Od) took the opportunity to...uh, customize the new frame. It's shaped like a tic tac toe board with open edges that make nice storage compartments, it's super sturdy (no squeaking), and it conveniently has multiple points where hardware has been affixed for restraints. Due to the nature of the memory foam mattress and the sturdiness of the frame Od could fuck me, or I could fuck him, into oblivion and anyone in the house will be none the wiser. Theoretically. There's still human noises to account for. ;)

*let me make note that even though the bed skirt hides the hardware, I've had to hold my breath and shoo them out quickly when I find one of the kids looking under there for the cat. We now have a locking set on our door, and I lock it all. the. time.

4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose? I was tied to the old bed using ropes and at the time I hated it. That was when it was still my bed in my childhood bedroom. I took it with me when I moved out. I have been restrained to the new bed using adjustable straps, cuffs, and clips - but not as much as I've restrained someone to them. For the purpose of dirty, dirty, kinky sex, of course.

5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)? Cotton sateen sheets. I purposely time shaving my legs with new sheet day and those two things combined with the heady scent of fabric softener and a lavender-vanilla pillow mist that I use.....it's absolute heaven.

6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)? No blankets. I have a furry man to cuddle up to. *grins* Although I have a plush brown blanket ("dinky", in our house thank you very much) that I use on my side of the bed between the sheet and comforter on the rare winter night.

7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)? Topping off my personal hideaway is a comforter. I want to get a down comforter after I learn to sew better so I can make multiple duvet covers. I'm a bit funny about bed coverings. I'm on my 9th set. They either wear out from multiple washings, obtain damage from kitty claws, I get bored with them, they don't match new decor, or like the one that I really, really loved...Od fucking hated it with a passion - it was too hot. It's a dream of mine to find a perfectly weighted comforter that doesn't cause him to break out in night sweats that will still be cozy and snug for me. One of these days.....

8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)? My pillow is dense and squishy, and it smells like coconuts. It's a memory foam pillow, of sorts. It was free with the bed. And it's awesome. Not good for pillow fights, though - someone could break a neck. Not that I remember the last time I had a pillow fight. I should remedy that soon. :)

Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.

If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no. Not sure how to approach my answer, but let me say this : there's a small number of men who would have a memorable time in my bed should the opportunity arise. And plenty more that have made guest appearances, if only in spirit.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Blankety Blank

Blankety Blank


Complete the sentences by filling in the blanks.
1. I could spend all day reading  but couldn’t stand five minutes  doing taxes .
2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do the floors  because no one else ever does. (actually I prefer a houseboy to a robot, but I'll accept either.)
3. The older you get the more appreciative  you get.
4. I want to  share Europe with my husband  when I finally convince him to get on a plane  .
5. My appetite for passion can never be satisfied.
Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard art supplies . (I sort of already do that)
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Think Kink (don't I always?)

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TMI : Masturbation Month

M is for masturbation

1. How often do you masturbate? It's very irregular because it's whenever I feel like it, or the situation presents itself. I can go a week or more and be okay, then the urge will hit me suddenly out of nowhere, I get that little clit twitch, the pull in the lower belly and I need to get off RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, due to his schedule my eldest is home every week day by 11:30ish. I have a 3 hour empty house window and I'm usually not mentally geared for self love until late afternoon when I've taken care of work and have time to relax, let my mind wander, etc... Of course I could play while he's home (and I have) but I must be really, really quiet. Therein lies the problem. Some of my toys aren't quiet and it's hard for me to be, too.

Also, my masturbation is nowhere near the levels it was a year ago. My sexuality was ramping up and I could not get enough. My libido hasn't settle, but my self control has. I learned that shared orgasms were more rewarding and ultimately what I really needed, so I saved them for my time with Od. Now those I could go for every day - but it hasn't been the case, is not the case, and doesn't look to be the case anytime soon. Pity.

Final answer : At least once a week. (May is a special occasion for me and some days I'm really pushing myself to get it done. Not the right frame of mind, I know.)

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month? Well, I'm masturbating daily. That doesn't mean I'm getting off daily, but I'm still participating. I've had some technical difficulty. I also set the challenge to Od to masturbate daily. I know he was playing along for the first 4 days. I'm not sure about now. My challemge turned into a catalyst of serious proportions, but that's another post.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it’s boring.
d. No, it’s a turn off.
e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.
Masturbation is not something that has occurred for Od in a long time, but in the rare occasion that his hand was on his cock for anything, like switching out a ring, putting on a cage, or some other toy, I like to watch. So a.), it turns me on, but in person I have trouble not getting involved, and assisting in some way. My hands naturally gravitiate to the crotch, if only for a squeeze, pat, or quick tease. Regarding any other man whether by video gift, online porn, etc....yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I loooooooove to watch. I'm a voyeur at heart. I like to watch all kinds of things.

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it’s embarrassing.
d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.
I tend to feel very self-conscious if the watching is done in a hands-off way - sort of like a car up on a rack, getting serviced. Not sexy at all. I don't mind using toys, I don't mind him watching...but I need physical connection (kisses on the legs, a warm set of lips on my nipples, attention to my neck and hopefully some whispered words of encouragement. Those things make all the difference to me. If not present, then the situation falls flat - I psych myself out too much.

5. Mutual masturbation? Yea or Nay? Yea. Most definitely, enthusiastically yea. Not the side-by-side-you-do-your-thing-I'll-do-mine way, though. Too disconnected. I prefer the taking-turns-and-assisting-each-other way. Maybe that's not masturbation, maybe that's sex? I don't know. If  things happen over the phone, then I can do that because of the words and the sounds in my ear. Texting or typing is difficult because I need the use of both hands, and camming is pretty much out because I need to not feel "inspected". *sigh* I'm a complicated and hard to please creature.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not? I would go, if I could simply masturbate and not stress about getting off. I'd be too busy watching everyone else. I'm assuming it's a group thing? If not, and it's more like a "go go go, it's your turn on stage" kind of thing...um, no thank you. But feel free to send me a link to any videos. (I just read the fine print and it says group environment...so sure. I'd do it with my heart in my throat, but I'd do it. With a buddy, of course.)

http://masturbate2012.tumblr.com/

The Center for Sex & Culture
Sunday, May 27, 10am-midnight
Arrive by 9pm
$40 minimum self-sponsorship; or bring sponsorship form with pledges

All genders, all orientations welcome to explore self-pleasure in a supportive group environment. Check the next newsletter for more detail about this year’s Thon, and join us to Come for a Cause!

All donations and pledges support CSC’s operations and programs.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating? ETA : I'm not sure why my answer got deleted the first go 'round, but here's a second try : I'm not addicted to masturbation now, but in 2010 for awhile I would have answered yes. I could not get enough. As in, I would get deliciously tenderized from the lengths and amounts of self love I was administering. Then that physical reminder would set me off and I'd need to do it again. Now I would say I'm more drawn to the effects of masturbation. My body needs an orgasm every 3 days or so. I start to get hateful and generally disgruntled...so I prescribe myself therapeutic orgasms. I would have them through partnered activities, ideally, but masturbation works otherwise. Recently, it has become the norm. Even more recently I could use one every night to fall asleep, but it's tricky to pull off when someone is snoring next to you. Not impossible - but tricky.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Hoo Doo and Tumblr Tuesday

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

1. Play naked twister with? Who? Oh that'simple. I have to want to see you naked and you have to want to see me naked. Also, no quitters or sore losers. Other than that, I'm easy. ;)

2. Love? There's a quote from a Jane Austen work that I recently came across and I think it describes me perfectly. "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves; it is not my nature." Whether family-friends, romantic-friends, or just friendly-friends, when you have my love you know it.

3. Excites you beyond belief? Men who willingly admit what they want. The ones who are brave enough, desperate enough to confess those unspoken wishes, to intimately share vulnerabilities. The ones that strip away all pretenses and reveal the tender underbelly of their personal truths. Honesty and trust is a very sexy, exciting thing.

4. Enjoy ass play with? I enjoy ass play with Od. I only wish he enjoyed it more. It's more my thing than his, I think. Both giving and receiving. I'm stealing a term from LM when I say I'm "ass erotic". Everything feels good back there. And while not too long ago I might have pulled faces at the thought, I've recently become slightly obsessed with the idea of rimming. Mostly receiving. But you know...I give as good as I get. ;) It doesn't help my obsession that a certain someone promises to take care of me thoroughly in that department. Such a dirty, filthy tease he is.

5. Shower with? I've had shower sex maybe twice. It's nice, but there's a continuous chant in my head of "pleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslip". It's much better in fantasy than in reality I think. Or I just need a better shower. That may be the trick. Or getting those shower grips specifically made for shower sex. But the showering part? Actually showering under the steamy water, skin pinking from the heat and sharing the lather with roaming hands, soft moans and sighs from the utter relaxation of being pampered? I would do that with anyone. No kidding. You do me. I do you. Good clean fun.

6. Undress? I find it awkward to undress someone else. Maybe the idea has been tainted by all the years I spent wrestling willful children in and out of their clothes. I'd much rather you undress yourself. Slowly. While I watch.

7. Rim? Like I said before in 4 - I give as good as I get. And like I said in 5 - You do me. I'll do you.

8. Elope with? If the possibility of a second marriage were to ever come up, I don't think I'd elope. Again.

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why? I don't actually like being in the arms of anyone. It's a control thing. I get too hot, I tend to flip back and forth a lot, I don't enjoy breathing in my face or in my ear. I know.....I'm difficult. It really is not much fun to sleep with me. Unless you prefer to be cuddled yourself. I like to be the big spoon instead of the little spoon. I'll curl up to Od's back and with my hands in all the right places I'll fall asleep within minutes. I also like butt to butt cuddling. When we have the opportunity to sleep in and wake naturally without alarms this is how we usually are. Butt to butt, still touching, me rooted up against him. Until one of us rolls over. When it's me rolling into him it's because I want to fall back asleep. When it's him rolling into me it's because he wants a warm place to put his morning wood.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Moving onto the Tumblr Tuesday portion of this post, I found a picture that intrigued me, impressed me and grossed me out all at the same time. I'm not sure if it's real, but surely it must be, right? I don't know. Tell me what you think :

I can't source it because the account disappeared.

The following photo is just hot. Some men know this move, some don't. All should.

I loved it so much, I unknowingly saved it twice!

Not sure if I ever mentioned it amongst my many Friday Facts, but I love Wonder Woman. As in, I wanted to desperately be her as a little girl.

Bonus points for being uber cool if this is a man. I can't tell.

I'm not sure where this guy flew in from, but he's sporting some awesome aviator gear!

I love tulips for their sleek beauty and those dark lovelies in front? My absolute favorites.

And because sometimes it's just the perfect response :

That concludes this weeks edition of Tumblr Tuesday. Hop on by Lola's to see what she's got or to play along! Hopefully it won't be another week before I've got something to share. *kiss*



TMI and Tumblr Tuesday 1/10/12

I was all set to play along with Lola today instead of participating in TMI.....when I saw what today's TMI topic was about. Well. Suffice it to say (cock fan that I am) I couldn't pass it up, so I'm combining them into one post. TMI is up first :

****MATURE CONTENT: This post is for adults only. Visit another Tuesday when things aren’t so sexy, if you are uncomfortable with sexuality.****

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why? Neither, and both. I'll explain that, but firstly I'll say that compatibility is most important. A person has to know their physical limits and their sexual desires before finding an outie to play with their innie. Got me? Now about that whole silly length versus girth argument.....is it too much to ask for perfectly proportionate? I'm no size queen (not judging if you are) but I really don't need more than 7 inches. If you're swinging more than that it doesn't allow close body friction which is key in getting me off because I don't use my hands on myself during sex, and trying to go in balls deep would just probably bruise my cervix. No thanks. Assuming that longer is better than shorter and that thicker is better than narrow, I'd choose longer and narrow over shorter and thick. I feel like I'm all over the map with my answers on this one, because so many variables are involved. Okay - final answer. Length. There I said it.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle? No.

3. Best place to put a penis? In a cage. LOL No...I kid, I kid. In my vag. I'm totally a PIV girl. Love the cock.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it? Probably masturbate all day. I'd want to experience a blowjob, but since that requires time to find someone willing (I hear that's hard to come by for most penis owners) that would take away my time from guaranteed pleasure (myself). I'd like to fuck Od in the ass. Am I still a woman with said penis? That would keep the sex hetero, right? Or are we now in Tranny territory? I know for a fact he would freak out about it. But yeah. I'd guessing I'd have more luck getting into his ass than his mouth if I had my own cock. Oh - and I want my cock to come intact also, so I can finally get some experience in playing with a foreskin. I would totally go commando all day. Hell, I'd probably go around naked all day. With my hand on my cock. I would have so much fun. 

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock This one. Who's not gonna say they want it tight? ETA: oh. I read that as a different type of tight with other lips. oops! I'll stick with this answer though, since I am a penis, instead of having a penis. This way, I'll lay back and not have to do the work for a change!
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often? Mine.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Okay, that was fun. and just so you know, I'm still imagining all the things I could do with my very own dick. Penis envy. It's a real thing.

I knew as soon as I saw this photo on tumblr I would be using it for this week. I gasped. My jaw dropped open. I wished for a time travel machine. Because him?

Add glasses and make those jeans buttonfly and you're looking at 22 year old Od. The hair, the beard, the body, the fur.....just everything. In fact, my eyes went directly to the left bicep looking for a scar. I was surprised to not see it. And to think just a couple of days ago I expressed my wishes to put a hurting on him. Not to say that present day Od is shabby. By no means. But 20 years has rendered him more........comfortable, shall we say? Me now + him then = both of us left in a panting, exhausted heap of blood, sweat, and tears. And when we could manage to pull ourselves up to walk away it would be with limps and matching smiles. Just sayin'.

This next photo just goes to show that black and white makes everything classy. Even something as wonderfully slutty as double penetration.

via

While we have such an extreme close up of balls (four of them, even) let's take a minute to address the grooming. This is one of two place where fur is not so welcome, in my opinion. Backs would be the other location. Other than backs and balls, feel free to go beastly. The reasoning behind this is sound, so hear me out. If you shave or trim them closely, your partners are more likely to want/agree to put their mouths down there. And that could lead to all kinds of fun adventures above or below the ball border. Whatever your thing is. Trust me on this one. Trust. Me. Other than that, all I can say about this photo is "Yes, please."

This a bit more tame, but the tumblrverse expands far and wide. You just never know what you'll find. I got a giggle out of this cutie.

via

If you like photos of animals and enjoy snarky humor then do yourself a favor and click in the via link under the squirrel. I'm not sure if I've recommended this guy's site before, but I visit it everyday for a dose of funny.

These are just awesome. Immediate artsy boner.

all 4 photos via

Who says blogs are a useless waste of time? I think they come in handy quite often. We could all learn something from the musing of others. This author who posted this? Yep. Genius.

Because it fits so well with the first part of my post, I thought I'd share with you what I think is the most perfect looking cock on the planet. And also what I'd want mine to look like. Seriously. It's like that thing just got unwrapped from the packaging, it's so perfectly smooth and shiny. And pretty. And, and, and.......unf. Okay. I'm done for. I have other things to do right now. ;)

Thanks for playing along!

*kiss*

TMI Tuesday Happy Holidays Edition



I would leave this tree up allllll year long.

This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season.

1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it. I'll be celebrating Christmas this year, like always.

2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune? Well, I'm not gonna play favorites, but I'll give you a rundown of my must-haves for the holidays. Firstly, if I was going to listen to no other Christmas recordings for the rest of my life then I would be happy to narrow it down to Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole. My favorite kind of Christmas is a vintage Christmas and these two men give me the nostalgic warm and fuzzies.

From Bing :
1. White Christmas
2. I'll Be Home For Christmas
3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
4. It's Beginning To Look Like Christmas
and...
5. Mele Kalikimaka (not that I'm from Hawaii, or have ever been there, but it's sooooo much fun to sing along to!)

From Nat:
1.The Christmas Song
2. Silent Night
3. Caroling, Caroling
4. The First Noel
and...
5. O Come All Ye Faithful (but to be honest, the whole album is my favorite.)

Oh! also, how could I forget? My newest favorite is Josh Groban's version of "O Holy Night". I've never heard a version of this song I didn't like, but this man sings it like an angel. Listen here.

3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:

- What’s the gift you most want? Snow. Always snow. You'd think living in the Midwest that this wouldn't be too hard for Mother Nature to deliver...alas, no snow on Christmas for quite a few years. Why can I remember as a kid every single year it was snowy, if not actually snowing on Christmas, but now...nothing? *Pouts* I really, really want snow. Dreaming of a white Christmas, indeed.

- What do you think is the best gift you are giving? Well, my kids are getting iPhones for Christmas. So those are the most generous gifts I'm giving, because they are also receiving a good amount of trust along with those phones. But I'm most excited about giving everyone else something that they specifically want. We exchanged lists this year, so I know for certain my family will like what they get. That feels good.

4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be? In a cabin somewhere in the snowy woods, all bundled up in front of a glowing fireplace with a cup of cocoa in my hands with Bing or Nat playing in the background while I gaze at the twinkling lights on the tree, surrounded by my family. I've wanted this for three years in a row and I keep threatening to make it happen. I say threaten because my mother would have apoplectic fits if I dared to stray from the traditional routine. That's not what's keeping me from doing it, either. My husband could care less, but my daughter threw a panicked fit, and my son refused to go. Can a girl not have an old fashioned Christmas? Apparently only by herself. Hmph. Anyone else want to join me? I know how we could stay warm.........

5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:

a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier. Not a problem. All my family lives in travelling distance, and there's a manageable number of us. As long as they don't mind pitching in to do dishes, we're golden!
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house. Only if we're talking about my in-laws.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve? To someplace remote and snowy? Yes please!

6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake? Fruitcake is the worst gift ever. You might as well say "I don't really like you and I'd rather not spend any time or energy giving you a gift." Unless...the recipient is a weirdo (like my husband) who actually likes - no LOVES- fruitcake. His grandma makes them and he's always loved hers the best. When she moved to Florida he was heartbroken over no more fruitcakes. I took pity on him 2 or 3 years ago and tried to make him one following Betty Crocker's recipe. What I learned : fruitcake making is a fine art. The soaking part is the trickiest. Also, those sons of bitches are expensive!!! Do you know how much all that candied fruit and nuts and stuff costs? Just to make something that only, like...3 percent of the population actually enjoys??? Waaaaay too much. And then to have to start over because you dipped the cakes for too long and they got soggy and fell apart! Nope. Not gonna do it again. I don't want to know how to make them that badly. He can buy his own awful fruitcake.

Bonus:  Share with us one of your holiday traditions. I'm going to say something that sounds truly dirty, but it's not I swear. At Christmas time we play "Hide the pickle". My mother has a pickle ornament that gets hidden on her tree and the grandkids look for it and whoever finds it gets to either open a present first or receives a special ornament. This tradition is supposed to be German, but my mom's German friend has never heard of it. Maybe it's regional? Or maybe the Germans are laughing at the silly Americans who believe that "hiding the pickle" is for Christmas and not some other time. Who knows. My daughter is reigning champion. Figures. LOL :)

TMI Tuesday 11/22/11 What's cookin'?

What’s Cookin’ Good Lookin’?

Would you like to taste my muffins?

In the United States Thanksgiving is this week, so a lot of folks will be cooking up a storm in preparation. Many other holidays will occur over the next month around the world and everyone seems to celebrate with food, hence, the TMI Tuesday theme…Cooking.

1. Haagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s?  Haagen-Dazs, Shmaagen-Dazs. Graeter's Peppermint Stick is where it's at. Oh, you don't have Graeter's? Poor fools.  ;)

2. What is always in your refrigerator? My teenage son. Food? We have no food. I just explained. I have a teenage son.

3. What’s your worst kitchen disaster? I was gonna say the time Od and I tried to make shrimp fried rice in the microwave. I was only 17 and at the time he cooked everything, everything, in the microwave. We thought it would work. It was gross. Gross beyond describable proportions. However, that was a tiny bump in our culinary road. My biggest disaster occurred 2 years ago and doesn't involve any food. After lusting after one of these beautiful pieces for more than a decade I bought myself one. And about the....oh, second or third time I used it I set it on fire. I was heating oil in it to brown meat and my daughter asked for help starting her laundry. Foolish me dashes downstairs to help her "real quick". Minutes later the smoke alarm goes off and I have that "oh shit!" moment when you realize you just fucked up. Smoke was rolling out of the kitchen, flames were shooting up the range hood and all I could do was cover the pot with the lid to smother the flames and turn the burner off and run out the back door to escape the smoke. To their credit, Le Creuset makes quality goods. It took Od and I a considerable amount of elbow grease and lots and lots of soaking/scrubbing/scraping to remove the tar-like sludge from the pot, and the enamel is dull and crackled in spots, but it works just fine. I'd also like to point out what gems those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are. I went through a couple boxes of those to clean the cabinets, the walls, the stove, the range hood (inside and out) and the ceiling.

4. Favorite kitchen gadget? Either my salad choppers or my food chopper.

5. What was your last meal? Did you like it? My last meal was from the Wendy's driv-thru. I wan't particularly thrilled with it, they got my order wrong.

6. What’s your favorite cookie? If it's fresh baked, still slightly warm, then it's my favorite. Unless it has coconut. Then no thank you. Chocolate chip, chocolate crinkles, snickerdoodles, and oatmeal cranberry white chocolate chip top the list.

Instead of just telling us about your favorite cookie why don’t you share the recipe via The  Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!