Then and Now

Thank you to the TMI Tuesday reader who submitted the following THEN AND NOW questions. He wanted to remain anonymous.

1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you? Oh, wow, okay.....let's do some inventory : I like to think there's a natural course that women take in their sexual development, so the concepts that I'm now in my late 30s and using vibrators and toys in the bedroom doesn't embarrass me or that knowing my body very well and taking what I need from a relationship and being vocal about it are par for the course. If one is lucky.

I'll even go so far as to say that my love of receiving and giving anal sex, and my penchant for gay porn (while surprising to me just 3 years ago) is a part of the natural progression of my sexuality. I've said it many times : when one opens their mind to new ideas and possibilities, it's damn near impossible to close it back. Essentially, once you go kink, you'll do more than you think.

My 17 year old self (which is a perfect age, BTW, since it was a pivotal age for me) would be shocked at most of the kinky fuckery I get up to on a good day. She'd pull a skeptical face and ask "Really???" But she would be downright scandalized, dare I say pissed off at the idea of her pending marriage becoming anything less than 100% monogamous. Cheating and messing around a.k.a. "being intimate in any way with anyone else beside your partner", although hurtful, was part of the teenage boyfriend/girlfriend experience. I should know. I messed around a lot behind my boyfriends' backs. At a time in my life when I was tired of boys, I met a man who possessed all the qualities I'd been needing in a partner. Never mind that I was underage and he was 22. Within 4 months of dating him he asked and I said yes. I was never more sure of anything in my life, except for the fact that we were everything each of us would ever need.

So, fast forward to today when I openly flirt with men, lust after them, have unconventional friendships with men who are not my husband, and at one time have even participated in a D/s play partnership, all with the knowledge, blessing, and acceptance of my husband...I think my 17 year old self would be holding me down to stitch the letter A permanently and directly on my skin. My views on monogamy have been the biggest change for me because I held a deeply rooted opinion about it previously.

2. What one thing might shock that younger you? That at some point in the future, the person I loved the most and made me the happiest would also be the person I hated the most and made me the unhappiest. Inconceivable.

Oh, and that over 20 years later women's health and reproductive rights would be threatened with a possible backslide that would take them back to the 19th century. Also inconceivable.

3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia? Hands down, my body and his stamina. I'd love to travel back in time to my life then with my mind now. I have vivid flashbacks of the feel and sight of the hard flat planes of our abdomens gliding furiously against each other covered in sweat. There were times I had to wipe it away in order to get the friction I needed. We're both...shall we say...a little more comfortable to cuddle up with now. :)

4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled? I have yet to become a burlesque dancer, work as a naughty librarian, or take my husband back to Paris with me and fuck him senseless in the City of Lights. My only regret is the Paris thing.

Bonus: Give your 17 year old self a piece of sexual advice. Grow some ovaries and ask yor mother to take you to the doctor to go on the pill. She knows you're having sex, so stop being embarrassed to say it out loud so you can have reliable birth control, because dear, you suck at using condoms.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Big O, Little O, mine, or yours - I like 'em all

My first waking thought today wasn't *gasp* "It's 9/11" followed by swooping sentimentality of all that it means to live in the U.S. in the aftermath of what happened on this particular date years ago.

Instead, I woke to the thoughts of my hair appointment, my daughter's doctor's appointment, when I would squeeze the morning walk with the dog in, did a mental checklist of all my class prep work for tonight, and then I subtracted a few minutes from the "getting ready" column and added them to the "getting off" column.

On this date of September 11, 2012 I choose to celebrate the life affirming beauty that is all around me, with all of it's responsibilities, all of it's freedoms, all of it's simple joys, and I'm thankful for being able to do that. I'm living life how I choose to live it and I do what I can to be happy. That's how I respect the memory of people no longer with us, no matter the way in which they left us.

I prefer quiet observation rather than showy, public offers of respect.

So on this gorgeous day with a bright sunny sky and hardly any humidity to undo my new 'do, I took the scenic route on my walk, I gave an extra wide smile to fellow walkers, I played with my pup just a little longer and gave him a treat before breakfast just because I could, I revelled in the spare time I have today because I'm on top of my game and I'm ready for class, and also because I made an effort to start the day off relaxed and with a smile.

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The Big O

1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it. I can recall masturbating fairly young. Probably 7 or 8 years old. Not with any knowledge or expectation of results other than "when I do this thing it feels really good and I should probably keep this to myself". I don't remember if I had an orgasm that young. I do remember having them at age 11. I didn't know they were orgasms. I associated this fabled orgasm as a pleasurable part of sex with a partner. I wouldn't know that I had indeed been having orgasms until I was 17 and had my first partnered orgasm. I recognized the building sensation and was elated at figuring out that puzzle. It was an unforgettable moment of self discovery.

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc). Through deep penetration with body to body contact and clitoral stimulation. Currently that means that I was fucked with my Vixen Mustang dildo strapped into a knee harness with a bullet vibe pressed between us against my clit. Must. Do. That. More. Often. I was so drained that I couldn't move afterwards. God, I love his legs.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc). I'm pretty lucky and versatile as far as orgasms go. I've done a lot of personal exploration, and for all my frustrations in the anatomy/sexual pleasure department, I have a lot to be thankful for. However, I'd love to be able to experience multiple orgasms with a partner, the rolling, connected kind of orgasm after orgasm with out a vibrator.  I'm not wired that way, though, I don't think.  Also, if ever once in my life I experience an orgasm through double penetration involving two men and their cocks I would die an extremely happy woman.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?   I don't really have many sex dreams. I woke up once from a dream on the verge of orgasm, but the shock from having that particular dream chased it away. The sex dreams that I do have are vivid, usually bizarre, and I get more caught up in the storyline than the pleasure going on, or somehow my brain edits out the pleasurable parts. My sleeping brain is a cock blocking asshole. 

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? Usually by fantasizing about something from my taboo list. If I'm mentally aroused then it doesn't matter if I use my fingers (the least dependable of my methods) or my strongest vibrator.

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? I don't try. I just do. Or I don't. Usually it's at least one or two just to stay sane. Closer to 6-10 if I'm having a good week or I'm hormonal.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first? Yes, we've had simultaneous orgasms. It was fun and nice that we could experience that in the beginning of our relationship. We don't cum at the same time anymore. Well, rarely. This is for a lot of reasons. Our style of sex has changed drastically. Sometimes there's no penile penetration. What gets me off has changed drastically. Sometimes he's more of an assistant than a director. How long he can last during  has changed.  I'd like this to change but I work with what I've got. And sometimes, just sometimes, his orgasm isn't even on the menu. No matter the sex act that's going on, though, I've become a big fan of separate orgasms. I enjoy mine more thoroughly when it's just about me in that moment without any distractions. I don't feel like I'm missing out on my favorite show. And during his orgasm I prefer to be 100% present in the moment for him, so I can watch and listen.

In a mutual situation where both of us are aiming for an orgasm, though - I cum first.

8 – Can you have multiples? I can have more than one orgasm in an extended session using toys. Typically two is my limit unless I use my Panasonic "back massager", then I can go for more (last week I think I timed 6) but they are not as enjoyable as the two back-to-backs that I enjoy with other toys. Sometimes I'm just greedy and I like having more just 'cause I can, and I like the sweaty exhaustion from working so hard to get that many.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm? By myself, average is 5 minutes. Longer if my imagination is rusty or my iPhone takes a long time to buffer the video clip. With a partner it can be just as quick or take much longer if we're having an off day and not in sync.

10 – Have you ever faked one? Yep. I wish I could proudly state how dishonest and counterproductive it is to fake and that I've not done it, nor would I ever. The truth is, when I was younger and experimenting with sex acts I didn't have the courage to ask for what I wanted or to give directions if I needed a change. I was experiencing pleasurable feelings, regardless, and the only way I knew to express that was through faking it. It was immature and a clear sign that perhaps I wasn't ready for sex. But my offenses didn't end there. I've faked it plenty throughout my marriage. At times when I knew for certain that he was suffering a tender ego, and I didn't want to detract from his pleasure, I've faked it knowing that his unhappiness in not pleasing me might make him hold off longer on future encounters. Things have changed for us a lot in the past 2 1/2 years, where sexual pleasure and satisfaction does not always equal orgasm, and I'm honest and up front about everything now. In the long run I know this is better for us, even if there's still some frustrating days.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday

Hey there blog readers! Hello? Anyone still there? Oh - there you are. :)
I'm diving back into writing. I have some things to say, some stories to tell, and issues to get off my chest. I forgot how cathartic writing things out could be. I've been easily distracted by tumblr, along with the general distraction of not having any alone time for almost the entire summer. Whew! It's been way too long. In more ways than one, but I'll get to that later.....

Gettin’ Off

1. Have you ever initiated a booty call? I've participated in intentional hook ups, but that's different, I suppose. I can only recall one time in person where I initiated a booty call. I showed up at his door after work on a school night for the sole purpose of getting laid. He obliged me. Then sent me home so I wouldn't be late and get in trouble.

2. Have you ever accepted a booty call? Of sorts. I received an email from someone who needed help getting off to kill some time in an airport. I provided the words and scenario tailored to his likes and he was very grateful. I have the video as proof!

3. Ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend? The closest I've come to that is when I agreed to go to prom with Jeff if we were both single at the time (which we did) and somehow that morphed into a relationship. With benefits. So no, not really. Mostly I've been single, dating around, or in relationships. I could use a FWB, to be honest.

4. Tell us about your best one-night stand, what made it so good? This  is tricky...mostly because all my one timers were so long ago, but also because there were good and bad aspects to nearly all of them. I could easily pick the worst of all my singular encounters (Randy in the pool) but the best? Hmmm...surprisingly I'll go with Shawn. He was the slutty friend of my friend's boyfriend and we were drinking (hello lower inhibitions) and I was underage. It should have never happened, but I wasn't so young that I couldn't appreciate his comical attitude, his fun nature and the fact that he went down on me very well before he assumed it would be okay to wave his dick in my face. He in turn was appreciative of my burgeoning blow job skills. He even sang to me afterwards, praising me. He flattered me, showed me a good time, and made me laugh, even if he didn't make me cum. The only downside to the encounter was the brief period of time afterwards that I worried over the possibility of contracting an STI from him. Like I said, he was a slut.

5. When was your last one-night stand? August 1991 Navy Boy

6. What’s the grimiest, dirtiest place that you’ve had sex? I've had sex on a store floor before, but on a blanket so no, that doesn't count. In my car, but the front seat was tidy, so no. A pool - there's chlorine to kill bacteria. A shower - the epitome of clean fun. Outside in the grass perhaps but only my backside.....Wait. Nope. I got it. The time me and boyfriend #1 had sex doggy style in the middle of my childhood elementary school's playground field. My hands and knees ended up getting muddy and we had to walk uptown to the gas station (nearest public restroom) to clean up before going back to my house. My mother had eagle eyes and would notice any suspicious behavior once we returned.
 
Bonus: What’s the one random thing you wish your friends knew about you? I have a handful of very good friends. People that I let in already know the things I  wish they would know. It's hard to earn my trust and easy to lose it, so when I have a good friend, I'm an open book.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday 7/31/12

The Comfort and Thrill of Sex

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t really enjoy it.
e. I don’t enjoy it at all.
f. I have never given anal sex.
g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! Bend over for me baby. Penis, fingers, sex toys? YES TO ALL! (okay it's a proxy penis in the form of a dildo, but still...) There's a certain trust involved that I love, plus the added intensity of his orgasms are very nice. One of my goals is to give him a hands free orgasm through prostate play. He'll need to be more comfortable with his own ass before that ever happens, I think. It's a work in progress. We don't play with his ass enough to have figured out the magic combination.

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! I enjoy anal very enthusiastically, when the mood is right. I know my body well and listen to clues as to how I want to get off. I get a craving for anal play (for myself) maybe once a month.  I'm not above telling Od to use his fingers, to grab my plug, or to fuck me in the ass. It's better though when he offers it because he knows I enjoy it. Coincidentally, he offered last night and it was fanfuckingtastic! I've learned two curious things about anal stimulation for me : 1.) my pussy gets wetter than ever when something is placed in my ass. It makes no sense to me, but it's instantly soaked. 2.) once I cum, all placement and movement of whatever is in my ass needs to stop immediately. It goes from 'ohmygodthisisthebestthingEVER!!!' to 'okaystopgetitoutnowpleasegetitout!!!'. There is no such thing as round 2 with anal.

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?
a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.
c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.
e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.
f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.
I can't even remember what that feels like. I've not had a new lover in almost 21 years. (and Jesus, just typing that seems weird) It's not a turn on, because I have a thing about being watched. That in itself is strange because I'm a HUGE voyeur, but being watched closely, or silently, or intently almost makes my skin crawl. If I'm being touched, or there's talking or some other distraction it's not too bad. I don't really understand why this is. I have no problem being naked, getting naked, and lord knows I've done a strip routine a time or two...this is probably a topic better left to a therapist. ;) And I can't honestly say that it does nothing for me, because it does to an extent, plus it means there's most likely going to be sexy times. Woohoo! But the feelings are tempered with that dreaded feeling of being inspected. And it's not that I don't like it because I'm shy. I'm not a shy person. Like...at all. And we're all aware that most sex bloggers don't have many issues with natural acts being immoral or improper so that's definitely out. I'm drawing a blank on this one. Oh hey, I know! Maybe I need a new lover to try this out with and I can get back to you with an answer. Yes?

4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
(a.) I make a lot of sounds and am free with them. It turns Od on to hear me and I use my sounds to let him know when he's REALLY doing something right. Words tend to fail me in the actual act, so sounds are good. Loud sounds are better.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
Probably (a.) Curiously though, we do most of our dirty talking outside the bedroom. Our daily conversations are filled with innuendos and codes, and when the kids aren't nearby it's downright filthy. I say things often to test his boundaries and to gauge him sexually. I also like to threaten to do things to him. It's fun because it makes him smile this sweet little boy smile that is part amusement, part disbelief. He's come to find out that I'm not always joking. Foolishly, he admitted to liking me this way. It's our own mild version of consensual non-consent, if you will.

6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
Well, I don't squeak and I won't make your ears bleed, so I'm left with option (b.) That's not exactly right either. Maybe a growling wolf, if I've had a hard time chasing down an orgasm, but more likely a panting wolf. I do this breath holding thing when I get really close. Then when I actually cum, all bets are off as to the sound that comes out.

Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
Both. I want it all. The perfect situation is to have all these options. Some days it's lazy, reconnective, let me show you I love you sex, and other times there's a driving passion to pull out the bag of tricks, do some research on a new technique and fuck each other silly. I never want to get to a place where there's nothing new left. I do believe that the comfort and familiarity needs to come first, but the relationship doesn't need to stop there. I've said it before, but sex is like recess for adults. It's where we play and simply enjoy ourselves. Tag and hopscotch are great, but will get stale if that's all there is. I like swings, I like slides, I want the whole fucking playground. And maybe, just maybe, I want to share my toys and go play at a friend's house, too. ;)

*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Let's Go To Bed (yes, let's!!!)

Let’s Go To Bed

(Yes that is an invitation as well as a song by one of my fave groups The Cure. –Hedone)

The perfect bedroom. Sleep in cool sheets, have hot sweaty sex, take a dip to cool off. Rinse. Repeat.

Allow me to preface my answers with a few words. It should be alarming to me that I got excited and squealy over this week's TMI topic. Much more than last week's - and that was about kink. Y'all know how I feel about kink. The summer lazies have a tight grip on me and I've spent hours and hours in my bed relaxing, reading, hiding from my kids, trying out new toys, napping, watching movies, etc...I'm not even kidding when I tell you that the words "hey look.....I'm vertical!" have been announced to no one in particular as an actual  accomplishment.

I sincerely love my bed. Carrying on........

Most importantly it is the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Tell us about your bed.

1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)? My bed is a queen. If I had the room for it, it'd be a king, but our bedroom is close quarters as it is with the queen.

2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)? I'm the lucky owner of a Tempurpedic-Cloud Luxe. It's fucking spectacular. It's like a full body hug every time I lay down. I actually moan at times from the sheer pleasure of becoming horizontal.

3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe. Well - we removed the headboard and footboard (which had canopy posts that we never utilized) a long time ago "to make the room more spacious". That's what we said. What it really meant was : they squeak too loudly during sex and Freya strains the headboard too much by pushing on it! That was our old bed. On our new-ish bed we  have just the mattress and a weird platform base that needed somewhere to go other than the floor. We (and by we I mean Od) took the opportunity to...uh, customize the new frame. It's shaped like a tic tac toe board with open edges that make nice storage compartments, it's super sturdy (no squeaking), and it conveniently has multiple points where hardware has been affixed for restraints. Due to the nature of the memory foam mattress and the sturdiness of the frame Od could fuck me, or I could fuck him, into oblivion and anyone in the house will be none the wiser. Theoretically. There's still human noises to account for. ;)

*let me make note that even though the bed skirt hides the hardware, I've had to hold my breath and shoo them out quickly when I find one of the kids looking under there for the cat. We now have a locking set on our door, and I lock it all. the. time.

4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose? I was tied to the old bed using ropes and at the time I hated it. That was when it was still my bed in my childhood bedroom. I took it with me when I moved out. I have been restrained to the new bed using adjustable straps, cuffs, and clips - but not as much as I've restrained someone to them. For the purpose of dirty, dirty, kinky sex, of course.

5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)? Cotton sateen sheets. I purposely time shaving my legs with new sheet day and those two things combined with the heady scent of fabric softener and a lavender-vanilla pillow mist that I use.....it's absolute heaven.

6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)? No blankets. I have a furry man to cuddle up to. *grins* Although I have a plush brown blanket ("dinky", in our house thank you very much) that I use on my side of the bed between the sheet and comforter on the rare winter night.

7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)? Topping off my personal hideaway is a comforter. I want to get a down comforter after I learn to sew better so I can make multiple duvet covers. I'm a bit funny about bed coverings. I'm on my 9th set. They either wear out from multiple washings, obtain damage from kitty claws, I get bored with them, they don't match new decor, or like the one that I really, really loved...Od fucking hated it with a passion - it was too hot. It's a dream of mine to find a perfectly weighted comforter that doesn't cause him to break out in night sweats that will still be cozy and snug for me. One of these days.....

8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)? My pillow is dense and squishy, and it smells like coconuts. It's a memory foam pillow, of sorts. It was free with the bed. And it's awesome. Not good for pillow fights, though - someone could break a neck. Not that I remember the last time I had a pillow fight. I should remedy that soon. :)

Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.

If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no. Not sure how to approach my answer, but let me say this : there's a small number of men who would have a memorable time in my bed should the opportunity arise. And plenty more that have made guest appearances, if only in spirit.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Blankety Blank

Blankety Blank


Complete the sentences by filling in the blanks.
1. I could spend all day reading  but couldn’t stand five minutes  doing taxes .
2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do the floors  because no one else ever does. (actually I prefer a houseboy to a robot, but I'll accept either.)
3. The older you get the more appreciative  you get.
4. I want to  share Europe with my husband  when I finally convince him to get on a plane  .
5. My appetite for passion can never be satisfied.
Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard art supplies . (I sort of already do that)
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

If you're bored...

...and need some summer reading, I participated in an interview. You can read it here.

If you really like it and want more, here's the rest of the women's interviews.

I enjoyed (and stressed over) completing the interview with DD because her questions made me think long and hard about who it is I've become since discovering my kinky self. I almost said kinky side, but I'm convinced kink has taken over. Satisfied or not.

I wrote my answers back in February so you'll notice more enthusiasm than you might find today, but it's a journey through my thoughts about my sex life as it was then.

Let me know what you think, or in the least let DD know you stopped by!

TMI Tuesday Happy Holidays Edition



I would leave this tree up allllll year long.

This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season.

1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it. I'll be celebrating Christmas this year, like always.

2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune? Well, I'm not gonna play favorites, but I'll give you a rundown of my must-haves for the holidays. Firstly, if I was going to listen to no other Christmas recordings for the rest of my life then I would be happy to narrow it down to Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole. My favorite kind of Christmas is a vintage Christmas and these two men give me the nostalgic warm and fuzzies.

From Bing :
1. White Christmas
2. I'll Be Home For Christmas
3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
4. It's Beginning To Look Like Christmas
and...
5. Mele Kalikimaka (not that I'm from Hawaii, or have ever been there, but it's sooooo much fun to sing along to!)

From Nat:
1.The Christmas Song
2. Silent Night
3. Caroling, Caroling
4. The First Noel
and...
5. O Come All Ye Faithful (but to be honest, the whole album is my favorite.)

Oh! also, how could I forget? My newest favorite is Josh Groban's version of "O Holy Night". I've never heard a version of this song I didn't like, but this man sings it like an angel. Listen here.

3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:

- What’s the gift you most want? Snow. Always snow. You'd think living in the Midwest that this wouldn't be too hard for Mother Nature to deliver...alas, no snow on Christmas for quite a few years. Why can I remember as a kid every single year it was snowy, if not actually snowing on Christmas, but now...nothing? *Pouts* I really, really want snow. Dreaming of a white Christmas, indeed.

- What do you think is the best gift you are giving? Well, my kids are getting iPhones for Christmas. So those are the most generous gifts I'm giving, because they are also receiving a good amount of trust along with those phones. But I'm most excited about giving everyone else something that they specifically want. We exchanged lists this year, so I know for certain my family will like what they get. That feels good.

4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be? In a cabin somewhere in the snowy woods, all bundled up in front of a glowing fireplace with a cup of cocoa in my hands with Bing or Nat playing in the background while I gaze at the twinkling lights on the tree, surrounded by my family. I've wanted this for three years in a row and I keep threatening to make it happen. I say threaten because my mother would have apoplectic fits if I dared to stray from the traditional routine. That's not what's keeping me from doing it, either. My husband could care less, but my daughter threw a panicked fit, and my son refused to go. Can a girl not have an old fashioned Christmas? Apparently only by herself. Hmph. Anyone else want to join me? I know how we could stay warm.........

5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:

a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier. Not a problem. All my family lives in travelling distance, and there's a manageable number of us. As long as they don't mind pitching in to do dishes, we're golden!
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house. Only if we're talking about my in-laws.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve? To someplace remote and snowy? Yes please!

6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake? Fruitcake is the worst gift ever. You might as well say "I don't really like you and I'd rather not spend any time or energy giving you a gift." Unless...the recipient is a weirdo (like my husband) who actually likes - no LOVES- fruitcake. His grandma makes them and he's always loved hers the best. When she moved to Florida he was heartbroken over no more fruitcakes. I took pity on him 2 or 3 years ago and tried to make him one following Betty Crocker's recipe. What I learned : fruitcake making is a fine art. The soaking part is the trickiest. Also, those sons of bitches are expensive!!! Do you know how much all that candied fruit and nuts and stuff costs? Just to make something that only, like...3 percent of the population actually enjoys??? Waaaaay too much. And then to have to start over because you dipped the cakes for too long and they got soggy and fell apart! Nope. Not gonna do it again. I don't want to know how to make them that badly. He can buy his own awful fruitcake.

Bonus:  Share with us one of your holiday traditions. I'm going to say something that sounds truly dirty, but it's not I swear. At Christmas time we play "Hide the pickle". My mother has a pickle ornament that gets hidden on her tree and the grandkids look for it and whoever finds it gets to either open a present first or receives a special ornament. This tradition is supposed to be German, but my mom's German friend has never heard of it. Maybe it's regional? Or maybe the Germans are laughing at the silly Americans who believe that "hiding the pickle" is for Christmas and not some other time. Who knows. My daughter is reigning champion. Figures. LOL :)

Taking a cue from Will.....

.....and I'm posting Sunday Stealing on a Monday. This is the Blue Memory Meme part deux :

(see how much of a rebel I am, participating a day late and not even filling out part un?)

26) Are you happy with the person you've become? I've erased three attempts at this answer so far. (and taken 15 minutes to do it) I'm not sure... but I'm guessing that indicates some confliction. I would describe myself as a person who is happy within her means. I never meant to become a mother at 19. I never meant to leave college. I never meant to follow the path of least resistance. But I did. I lost my 20's to Mommyhood and then I resigned myself to it. I feel there is another version of myself out there that should have been. Like, really, really should have been. And because of my choices, she can never be. I'm content with who I've become. I don't know about happy.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? Doors banging shut (like a screen door or cabinet), and baby belly laughs.

28) What's your biggest "what if"? What if I'd not gotten pregnant? Such a guilt inducing question. I really try to think this one through sometimes and I just can't arrive at any possible scenarios. Maybe I would end up in the same place but with a kid, just a year later, or two years later. Then I get sad about not having my son in my life. Because as much as I created him, he created me too. Then that means I wouldn't have my daughter either, and, and, and........

I don't like to play the what if game.


29) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. But I would never actively seek one out. It gives me the heebie jeebies to think about that.

30) How about aliens? Sure, why not.

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? I choose to be an honest person. That way, I don't have to worry about lies to cover lies to cover lies. Sometimes honesty comes at a price. It has cost me a few friendships, and could have easily cost me my marriage. But I've seen what becomes of a person who lives a life full of lies to get what they want.

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? Panama City after Hurricane Opal in '95. What the hell were we thinking?

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yes, absolutely. Some of the best work is done by people who are at least slightly off their rockers. Creativity must be diligently tapped into by those of us who hold onto our rockers with both hands. The crazies get it free and easy. It's a trade off.

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender? Most attractive male actor? As in classically attractive, or appeals to my own personal sense of attractive? If for no other reason than just looking at him makes my girly parts happy, then it's got to be Henry Cavill. I've been crushing on him since I watched The Tudors on DVD last year. He's even pretty when he scowls, and is the sole reason I wanted to go see Immortals.

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? To find our own happiness.

36) Define “Art”. Any expression of creativity. Even more amazing if it's through mundane objects. Matter of fact, I prefer quirky over classic any day.

37) Do you believe in luck? Yes. There are times when being smart and working hard just don't cut it. A little luck must be involved, too.

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Compatibility. Personal, sexual, financial, social. All very important.

39) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Recently? Baby It's Cold Outside and Santa Baby. I even like my Christmas songs with a hint of naughtiness. ;)

40) Where were you yesterday? Making my Christmas cards, then having dinner out with my husband and doing some Christmas shopping.

41) What's the worst injury you've ever had? When I was 3 I climbed onto the stove and sat down, played with the knobs and got serious burns on my arm, my foot, and my butt. I don't remember any of it though and the scars are such a part of me I don't even think about them. I couldn't tell you which foot is scarred unless I look, the arm scar is so faded it's almost invisible, and I didn't even know I had one on my butt until I was 11 or 12 when my mom said something about the "smile" on my other cheeks. I asked what she meant and when she explained I went running to my room to look and there it was. A half ring scar right under my left cheek.

42) Do you have any obsessions right now? No. I equally distribute my distraction.

43) What's up? My hair. In a clip. As in a I-was-too-lazy-to do-my-hair-today kind of way.

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yes. When I was 15 my boyfriend at the time had some  friends that started telling a stupid story about me eating a donut off of his dick. Why? No clue. Did I? No. It's such a random, ridiculous story. If they wanted to piss me off they could have at least gone with something better than that. I suspect their lack of imagination was due to a lack of experience. Not a problem I had at the time.  If only they knew how acquainted my mouth was with his dick, donut or no donut.........

45) Do you believe in real magic? Nah, not really.

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Pffft. Do I hold grudges? Hah! That's a juvenile notion of solving a problematic situation without really solving anything and exhibiting behavior unbecoming to an adult. The answer is yes. Yes I do.

47) What's your favorite (non-pet) animal? Big cats. Particularly tigers. I find their eyes captivating and their patterns mesmerizing. See? Just gorgeous beasties.

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you? Typically I don't try hard to win people over. It's not my style. They either like me or they don't. But a genuine smile, and direct eye contact goes a long way with most people. 

49) Where is your best friend? Probably in the kitchen eating pickles. He's been on a pickle kick lately.

50) What do you think is Satan's last name? Fur. First name, Lucy. Because if hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, do you honestly believe they'd put a man in charge down there?

TMI Tuesday...Always with the sex

Let’s Talk about Sex

1. What sexual act arouses you the most? For that matter, what nonsexual act arouses you the most?
Displays of desire, intensely passionate kisses and touches...being seduced. I need more of that. I don't get seduced often enough. Nonsexually, the right music will turn me on, and also watching a man groom himself. The slow careful strokes of the razor that leaves clean lickable skin....applying soothing balm or aftershave with an intoxicating fragrance. The fragrance is so important. I love a good smelling man. I've been stopped in my tracks by a stranger's scent just so I can linger closely and inhale him.

2. What is your signature or “go to” move that is sure to get a lover in the mood for sex?
Kissing. That certain kiss that lingers, that beckons him back to my mouth for one more...then that one more deepens until tongues are tangling, hair is being grabbed, and laps are resituated.  And that's all it takes. Or I innocently grind my tush into his crotch and make sleepy moans. But that's for when I'm playing coy. *grins*

3. Do you queef?
No, I really don't. And after reading everyone else's TMI posts, I'm surprised that so many do. I'm guessing there's a lot of variables that leave me the statistical oddball once again. Maybe it's my particular anatomy, maybe the style of sex that we have? It just doesn't happen. You all seem to think it's a sign of a good fucking. I don't know......I'm just saying that kegels are a girl's best friend.   ;)

4. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to YOU as a result of your sex writings (e.g., blog, erotica, sex toy reviews)? (borrowed from Insatiabear)
I only have a handful of "weird" things that have happened. One is disturbing, the other is delightful, and the other few fall into the "it comes with the territory of sex blogging" category. Disturbing : due to a series of unfortunate events a family member found my blog. It makes for awkward family gatherings, but I'm almost completely over the mortification. Delightful : I was propositioned with a curious request from a reader, and I took him up on it.

5. Have you ever had sex while someone watched? nope
…someone else was in the room? negative
…someone else in the bed, next to you and the person you’re having sex with? nuh uh
What were the circumstances? I can only think of one acceptable situation where someone would be watching me have sex and that someone would be my husband. That obviously means the other person wouldn't be. ;)

6. When it comes to sex, and discussing it with your teen have you or would you:
a. Let school sex education handle it
b. Hand the teen a book or point them to a website
c. Talk frankly and openly
d. Avoid it all together–society, friends, and the internet will give all the info needed
My kids got the 5th grade "this is your body.....and this is your body during and after puberty" talk from the schools. I remember signing a permission slip for my son to take a 9th grade health course that was sexual in nature, and my daughter will be taking the same this year. I also know that I've provided them with honest discussions about sexuality and responsibility on my own so that I'm 100% sure that they hear things from a reliable source and hear values that are important to our family. And I never fail to use an opening when I have one to drop common sense reminders. Still, I'm not certain how much sinks in.........

Click Here, it’s important
Bonus:   Remember the song, “I’m too sexy?” CLICK to refresh your memory
What are you too sexy for?
My husband. I fear some days he just can't keep up.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

What else would I be doing on a Sunday...

...but killing time and pretending like the weekend isn't over?
Stealing Sunday it is, then!

1. One of my favorite TV shows recently changed the actors who played two characters. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love? I was a faithful Dukes of Hazzard fan as a kid, and when Bo and Luke were replaced it broke my heart.

2. A coworker recently shared a link to a blog listing the "five things you should know before dating a journalist." As a journalist, I can honestly say the writer was spot-on. What are some things people should know before spending time with you? That you shouldn't ask my opinion unless you can handle the truth, that I do not suffer fools, and I have no patience for social games.

3. What is something you often do without realizing that you're doing it?  I wiggle my toes and bite straws

4. Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to make you so angry? Ugh.....my father-in-law. He exists. I have a post in the works that reveals some of that relationship. You'll see.

5. If a fairy waved a magic wand and gave you the house of your dreams, where would it be and what features would it have? It would be like the Room of Requirements at Hogwarts. Whatever I needed - there it is! And it would be self-cleaning. Where? Oh, for a house like that I would relocate anywhere.

6. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? That gay people have the right to marriage.

7. I used to talk in my sleep. In fact, I could carry on a conversation with someone when I was fully asleep, and my mom used this fact when I was a teenager to find out if I did anything wrong and was hiding it from my parents. If you were talking your sleep tonight, what do you think you would say? I sleep with a fairly clear conscience. I have no worries. But my dreams are vivid, usually crazy, so there's no telling what I would say. I once answered a question with the response "Mr. Butterpants". I still don't know why.

8. The fourth installment of the "Twilight" movie series ("Breaking Dawn Part I") will be released in theaters soon. Movie theaters started selling advance tickets for midnight showings months ago. Have you ever attended a midnight premiere showing of a movie? Nope. I give it a day or two to settle down before I fight the crowds.

9. On Tuesday, tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw "Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle" being displayed on a road sign? I'd say "oooooh, I wonder what kind?" and then I'd rubberneck trying to spot some.

10. If a company opened a theme park aimed at adults, what would you name one of the rides? Like......adult, adult? Hee hee. Something kinky.....like.......Whip Lash.

11. Imagine you just moved onto Sesame Street. Which puppet would you want as your new roommate? Bert and Ernie, 'cause obviously they're gay and I've always wanted a gay friend.

12. Have you ever had a weird crush on a famous person that didn't make sense to you? Yes, Robert Pattinson makes no sense to me. He's a little effeminate, too scrawny, and he smokes. I didn't even think much of him after I saw Twilight, but then I found a few interviews of him, then like.....1,000 more and his personality is so endearing that ...BAM! I fell victim. Then I found outtakes of a particular Vanity Fair photoshoot and God damn - the boy cleans up well and a few of my triggers were set off. End of story.

13. If you get ten minutes to interview any celebrity of your choice, who would you like it to be? See previous response. I want to know things that should not be asked in interviews. ;)

14. You've just won the complete DVD collection of all the movies starring one actor or actress. Which actor/actress would you pick? Julia Roberts has done a lot of good work, and she's the first person I thought of.

15. Actor George Clooney recently told People Magazine that he doesn't use Twitter "because I will drink in the evening and I don't want anything that I could possibly write at midnight to actually end my career." What is something you've said through social media and then regretted it? My blog is the only form of social media I have, and I haven't had any regrets about what I've said. Had some regrets about who's read some stuff, though.

16. VH1 has re-introduced its hit show "Pop-Up Video," which gives behind-the-scenes facts for popular music videos. What musician would you be most interested in learning behind-the-scenes facts about? I'll go with Van Morrison because I love his music and have so much of it, but I know zilch about him.

17. If you stumbled across someone's personal written journal that was accidentally left in a public place, would you read any of the content? Pfffft. Uh, yeah. As much as I could before they got back. I'm nosy - I'll admit it.

18. What is the title of a self-help book that you'd never want to see on a store bookshelf? Fisting and Beyond. It's the beyond that I don't want to think about......

19. Many media outlets have been asking this question a lot this week... Which Halloween costume do you think will be overdone this year? Steve Jobs. Too easy, too soon.

20. Should a marriage license have a renewal date or expiration date, like a driver’s license? It's not a bad idea actually.......

Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing! Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Stop back and visit other player’s posts. That is really what this is all about, making new friends! Have a great week. See you next Sunday!

Because I have writer's block....

....I offer up this paltry post. I know that I have a post (about a certain person losing some sort of virginity) I need to write, but I'm not feeling it. The words haven't connected properly in my brain just yet, so until they do how about I play along with Sunday Stealing?

1. Is there someone in your life you know you’d be better off without? I cleaned out my relationship closet from 2005-2009. I had a sister-in-law that didn't fit me anymore, a father-in-law that was a gift with purchase that I never liked, and one particular friend who was clingy in an unflattering way. I think I'm done. Everybody else is a good fit, and I've learned to be a picky shopper when it comes to new friends.

2. Do you get criticized because of your body? I'm sure it's possible, but not that I'm aware of. At least not anymore. My booty was before it's time back in high school and I had the nickname Bubble Butt. I didn't mind the name (it was true) but I minded the meanness behind the use of it by one particular guy. He attempted to get under my skin with snarky little jabs. I ignored him, but on some level I regret not calling him out for the asshole he was. I never had any boyfriends that minded the junk in my trunk. I remember when curvy booties became "in" and low-rise jeans made their appearance. I heard angels sing. It was about time that more people realized that having an ass did not make women fat, it made them fun to hold on to!  ;)

3. Did you kiss the last person you called? No, I don't think my daughter would have appreciated me doing that. I called her boyfriend to let him know I was at the school to pick them up after the homecoming dance. Daughter was sans cell because of limited space in her clutch.

4. When was the last time you danced? I danced Wednesday morning in the kitchen by myself to a song that wouldn't get out of my head, so I played it on the stereo on repeat a few times to get it out of my system. It worked. Damn it. Now I'm thinking of it again.......

5. Do you keep in mind other people’s feelings? I keep them in mind when the situation calls for it, but I'm real big on making myself happy, and sometimes there's a cost.  

6. If you have a hang nail, do you pull it or clip it? Pulling appeals to my laziness. Who wants to go all the way to the bathroom for the clippers? But clipping appeals to my need for efficiency. Pulling causes an angry flare up the next day that stays hurty for way too long. I solve this need by biting them. Win-win.

7. Who do you want to forget? I feel like if you forget the person, then you forget the lesson learned. So my answer is nobody, but I'll add that I've learned some big lessons in life.

8. Who was the last person to send you a letter? An estranged friend who is starting up a cleaning business. I guess a business letter counts, right? If not, then it was my husband's grandmother at Christmas last year.

9. Who did you last tell to shut up? Probably the cat. She's mouthy in the morning when she wants food. And I prefer a quiet morning.

10. What’s the last thing that you smelt that smelt bad? In all honesty, it was myself. I was in a hurry to pack up and head home Saturday morning and I forgot to apply deodorant. We're having unseasonably warm weather this weekend and the combined effects were quite obvious this morning. It's been remedied.

11. What’s your favorite cereal? I could always eat a bowl of Cheerios. Right now it's Multigrain Cheerios.

12. How do you feel when people lead you on, but they don’t even like you? If we're talking about dating prospects, then I have no experience with this. I have a good bullshit detector, plus I haven't dated in 20 years. Besides, who would do that? It's a waste of time and effort. If we're talking about people who try to be nice in order to use you, then I take a "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" attitude.

13. Could you live without sunlight? Not happily.

14. What’s something you know is bad, but you want to do it anyway? Oh, that's a loaded question. What defines "bad"? I don't want to be arrested or permanently hurt anyone. Note I said permanently. *wicked grin* I have my own set of moral codes that I play by, and those have shifted over the last two years. I'm having a hard time nailing down an answer................The first thing that comes to mind is that I would want to experience men other than my husband. And for right now, that would be bad of me to do. We don't have an open relationship, and I'm not sure we're at a place in life where we could handle that. But if we were at that place and I did experience other men, then it wouldn't be bad. See? This "bad" label is tricky business.

15. What was the last thing you lied about? I told my friend that I was giving myself a pedicure in the bathroom when I was really expressing my milk into the sink. There are some things even good friends don't need to know.  ;)

16. Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past week? I regretted staying up until 3 a.m. on Friday morning, but only until the coffee kicked in.

17. What was the last movie you bought?  I purchased Red Riding Hood on demand if that counts. Maybe in July or August? Usually I rent movies.

18. What is a sport you would like to do? Ice skating would be fun. Gliding over the ice would feel like flying. 

19. When was the last time you felt like crying? End of August was very emotional for me. Probably then.

20. Have you ever wanted to kill someone (not that you actually do it)? Kill as in dead? No. But seriously maim due to outrageous anger and frustration? Oh yes. Yes - lots and lots of times. I fantasized about wrapping my hands around someone's throat and choking the stupidity out of them. But that was years ago.

Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing! Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Stop back and visit other player’s posts. That is really what this is all about, making new friends! Have a great week. See you next Sunday!

TMI Tuesday 10/4/11

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

This week’s TMI Tuesday idea is from Heelsnstocking

1. What’s the worst reason you have been given for breaking up?It was 6th grade and just after the New Year. My boyfriend had given me a very pretty necklace and earring set for Christmas, we had attended a friend's party and kissed - with tongue - for the first time. I didn't see him for the rest of the Christmas break. Here I was all in love and excited to see him again when we returned to school. And he proceeded to break up with me. Why? His mother told him he had to. Somehow she found out we kissed and didn't approve of him being with "that kind of girl".  His mother made him break up with me. And he did it. Of course my pubescent brain blamed her (for being a cow) instead of him (for being a momma's boy), so 2 years later when he was much taller, more masculine and apparently still carrying a torch for me - we went out again. We dated for a few months, attended more parties (which were nothing more than make out sessions) and I did more than tongue kiss him. I let him touch my boobs. God bless front-hook bras. :)

2. What’s the worst reason you gave, to someone, for breaking up?I've had a lot of break ups. I never lasted more than 6 months with a guy. I got bored with them or got distracted by a new guy. I'm not so full of myself than I can't admit my attitude was wrong back then. I played a lot of head games just because I could. I was young, impetuous, and having female power over a guy was a heady thing. I abused it. I was sometimes careless. I have a few regrets, but I was always pretty direct about breaking up. I never used the "it's me, not you" line, or made up lies to make him feel better. Maybe I should have. The worst reason I gave was telling my on-off boyfriend that I essentially hooked up with someone new at a party and was going to be dating him instead. I was brutally honest. Boyfriend was upset with my actions, but also with my choice in a new guy. He was an academic prick, and I ultimately grew weary of him and his preachy ways. It was about the 273rd time that he pointed out "You aren't applying yourself" that did me in. I went running back to my boyfriend. Boyfriend knew I would - we were both relieved. It was a game we knew well. I needed let off the leash once in awhile, but I always returned.

3. Have you ever engineered the end of a relationship e.g doing something you know will put the other person off? If yes, what did you do?I picked a fight with said boyfriend. Tension was building and it was getting close to that time when I needed off the leash. He was playing Nintendo and I was bored, sitting next to him and trying to divert his attention to me. I kept touching his glasses. He HATED that. He told me to stop touching his glasses. I told him to stop playing Nintendo. It was a battle of wills and I wanted to win. He blew up at me, I got pissed and walked out. He followed me out to my car and we proceeded to break up in the street. It was either the last time or next to last time that we broke up because in a few months' time I was going to Prom with his best friend. *cringe*

4. Have you ever stayed with a partner just because you could not bear to end it?I was about to type 'Never', but that's not entirely true. With boyfriends I never beat around the bush. I'm sick of you? Then you're gone. But marriage is different. I think the reason I stayed with Od during the really bad times is because I couldn't bear to be the one that was responsible for breaking up our family. I couldn't do that to the kids, but at the same time I was no good at faking happiness and my level of unhappiness was killing me. I thought long and hard before I made the decision to better myself and see what my "other choices" were.

5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to end a relationship? What happened? Are you still friends?In Junior High and High School I'm sure I gave that advice if a friend was constantly complaining about her boyfriend. Most likely because I was tired of listening to the evidence of why they were clearly wrong for each other. I have a low tolerance for teenage girl drama. Always have - even when I was a teenage girl. However, I never urged a friend to dump someone for ulterior motives. Even though one time she was dating a guy I really liked. I saw that they were a short-lived romance and chose to bide my time. It worked out well for me. ;)  We're not still friends, but that's due to coming of age and moving on in life more than anything else.

As an adult I'm very careful about advising others on their relationships. I offer my experience or knowledge with some common sense thrown in - but it's ultimately their decision. With that being said, I've never been faced with a friend who was in an abusive relationship. That would be the only scenario where I would be pushy with my opinion. Abuse is a deal breaker. DTMFA!

Bonus: Have you ever been the cause of a relationship to end? Tell us about it. I suppose I might have been if any of my friends listened to my advice. I doubt they did. If memory serves me, the teenage girls in question preferred the drama of a crappy boyfriend over no drama at all. And as far as I know I've never directly been the reason for a break up such as being "the other woman". Don't get me wrong - there was once that possibility.......but she never found out. I really have a sordid past about break ups. I'm ashamed of most of my answers, to tell you the truth! LOL

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sunday Stealing 9/18/11

I haven't participated in awhile and thought it'd be a good way to pass the time on a boring Sunday afternoon and also to flex my typing muscles. They are pitifully underused recently. I'll spare you the details of my other underused anatomy. *heavy sigh.....*    Wow, sorry, that was more like TMI Tuesday. Anyway, this is part 1 and part 2 all in one week  :


1) Who is the last person you high-fived? My son, I think, when he told me he got a 95 on a Calculus test.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive. The draft yes. The war, I doubt it.

3) Do you sleep with the TV on? No. I rarely watch TV at all. I do however fall asleep listening to podcasts. They knock me right out, but waking up with earbuds strangling me is no fun. 

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton? Yep.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee? Maybe. I can't remember, but I always lasted until the final few. These were not big bees, just classroom or grade level bees.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee? Just once, but I remember it well. I was in 2nd grade, it was at a football game, on my inner thigh, and it hurt. Badly, for days.

7) How fast can you type? Only as quick as I think, which sometimes is slow. I took typing in school and learned the "proper" way to type with finger placement and everything, but I lost my skill and now I have to look at the keyboard, yet I still make mistakes. I made 3 typing this answer.

8) Are you afraid of the dark? Oh, no. I love the dark and feel comfortable in it, except when camping and I have to trek to the potty in the middle of the night. Why do I always have to pee in the early hours of camping, but I never do at home? Can someone please tell me that?

9) Eye color: Depends on what I'm wearing. Blue-gray, blue-green, and sometimes just blue. They look prettiest when I wear teal. So I'm told.

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in? No. The last movie I even saw at a drive-in was Turner and Hooch with my boyfriend, his mom and her boyfriend when I was 14 or 15.

11) When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower? A week or two ago. It was bubbly and smelled like lavender.

12) Do you knock on wood? When I use the phrase I do. And that's not often.

13) Do you floss daily? No.

15) Can you hula hoop? Oh, yes. I'm a good hula hooper.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets?  Yes, but it depends on the seriousness of the secret. And I'm a pretty good liar if I need to cover the truth to keep a secret. With that being said, I'm a very honest person (sometimes to a fault) and I'm quick to share things with Od - unless I'm specifically told "tell no one".

17) What do you want for Christmas? To go far far away and stay in a cabin where it does nothing outside but snow.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man? Yeah, and so do my hips. ;) That's why I'm so good at hula hooping. He lives at Panera in case you were interested.

19) Do you talk in your sleep? I've said some outrageous, non-sensical things when I get woken up by being asked a question, but I don't think I talk during sleep.

20) Who wrote the book of love? There isn't one, silly. Don't you know there is no book, pamphlet, guidelines or even rules where love is concerned? It's too tricky.

And now for part 2 :

21) Have you ever flown a kite? A few times when I was a kid and a few times with my own kids. Rarely successfully. Sometimes with tears.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes? I do.

23) Do you consider yourself successful? By my own standards I am successful in certain areas and a failure in others. I'm currently working on them. Failing really, really sucks.

24) When was the last time that you made an obscene phone call? I don't recall ever having made one. Now texting is an entirely different subject......

25) Have you ever asked for a pony? No. I never had a horse phase that a lot of adolescent girls have.

26) Plans for tomorrow? Making a lot of phone calls and dropping off a very large load of donations to Goodwill, and spending some time in my studio if time allows. Oh, and I'm also roasting a turkey.

27) Can you juggle? No. I've tried.

28) Missing someone now? Not really.

29) When was the last time you told someone "I love you"? I replied "love you too" in email form about an hour ago if that counts.

30) And truly meant it? I mean it every time I say it or I can't say it at all.

31) How often do you drink alcohol? 3-4 times per month or less, and my limit is 2-3 drinks. I'm a lightweight drinker.

32) How are you feeling today? bored and frustrated, but the frustration is plateauing into complacency. That's worrisome.

33) Have you every tried to write a meme? No, but I've thought about it.

34) Have you ever been fired from a job? Yes. I had to make a choice : be somewhere I wanted to be or get fired for not going in. It was a part time job and I was young and hot-headed. So I did what I wanted, knowing I'd lose my job over it. My enthusiasm for the job was winding down anyway, but I regret the "fired" stigma.

35) What are you looking forward to? Tomorrow. I love Mondays. Seriously. It's a brand new week with a clean slate. I love that.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window? Yep. I used to crawl through my old bedroom window to sunbathe on the patio roof. (and to smoke)

37) What's the most recent bad meal that you had to endure? The grilled pork loin I made 2 nights ago. It was probably in the freezer too long or just not a quality piece of meat to begin with, then I cut the pieces too thick and they were undercooked. Not a good sign when the steamed broccoli is the best part of the meal. :(

38) Can you handle the truth? Yes I can. I just wish others around me could, as well.

39) Whose to blame for what's going on? I don't care to assign blame. It indicates a refusal to take responsibility.

40) What will it take to fix it all up? Accepting the truth, holding ourselves accountable, letting go of egos, and being helpful instead of harmful.

Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing! Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Stop back and visit other player’s posts. That is really what this is all about, making new friends! Have a great week. See you next Sunday!