TMI Tuesday Hoo Doo and Tumblr Tuesday

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

1. Play naked twister with? Who? Oh that'simple. I have to want to see you naked and you have to want to see me naked. Also, no quitters or sore losers. Other than that, I'm easy. ;)

2. Love? There's a quote from a Jane Austen work that I recently came across and I think it describes me perfectly. "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves; it is not my nature." Whether family-friends, romantic-friends, or just friendly-friends, when you have my love you know it.

3. Excites you beyond belief? Men who willingly admit what they want. The ones who are brave enough, desperate enough to confess those unspoken wishes, to intimately share vulnerabilities. The ones that strip away all pretenses and reveal the tender underbelly of their personal truths. Honesty and trust is a very sexy, exciting thing.

4. Enjoy ass play with? I enjoy ass play with Od. I only wish he enjoyed it more. It's more my thing than his, I think. Both giving and receiving. I'm stealing a term from LM when I say I'm "ass erotic". Everything feels good back there. And while not too long ago I might have pulled faces at the thought, I've recently become slightly obsessed with the idea of rimming. Mostly receiving. But you know...I give as good as I get. ;) It doesn't help my obsession that a certain someone promises to take care of me thoroughly in that department. Such a dirty, filthy tease he is.

5. Shower with? I've had shower sex maybe twice. It's nice, but there's a continuous chant in my head of "pleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslippleasedon'tletmeslip". It's much better in fantasy than in reality I think. Or I just need a better shower. That may be the trick. Or getting those shower grips specifically made for shower sex. But the showering part? Actually showering under the steamy water, skin pinking from the heat and sharing the lather with roaming hands, soft moans and sighs from the utter relaxation of being pampered? I would do that with anyone. No kidding. You do me. I do you. Good clean fun.

6. Undress? I find it awkward to undress someone else. Maybe the idea has been tainted by all the years I spent wrestling willful children in and out of their clothes. I'd much rather you undress yourself. Slowly. While I watch.

7. Rim? Like I said before in 4 - I give as good as I get. And like I said in 5 - You do me. I'll do you.

8. Elope with? If the possibility of a second marriage were to ever come up, I don't think I'd elope. Again.

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why? I don't actually like being in the arms of anyone. It's a control thing. I get too hot, I tend to flip back and forth a lot, I don't enjoy breathing in my face or in my ear. I know.....I'm difficult. It really is not much fun to sleep with me. Unless you prefer to be cuddled yourself. I like to be the big spoon instead of the little spoon. I'll curl up to Od's back and with my hands in all the right places I'll fall asleep within minutes. I also like butt to butt cuddling. When we have the opportunity to sleep in and wake naturally without alarms this is how we usually are. Butt to butt, still touching, me rooted up against him. Until one of us rolls over. When it's me rolling into him it's because I want to fall back asleep. When it's him rolling into me it's because he wants a warm place to put his morning wood.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Moving onto the Tumblr Tuesday portion of this post, I found a picture that intrigued me, impressed me and grossed me out all at the same time. I'm not sure if it's real, but surely it must be, right? I don't know. Tell me what you think :

I can't source it because the account disappeared.

The following photo is just hot. Some men know this move, some don't. All should.

I loved it so much, I unknowingly saved it twice!

Not sure if I ever mentioned it amongst my many Friday Facts, but I love Wonder Woman. As in, I wanted to desperately be her as a little girl.

Bonus points for being uber cool if this is a man. I can't tell.

I'm not sure where this guy flew in from, but he's sporting some awesome aviator gear!

I love tulips for their sleek beauty and those dark lovelies in front? My absolute favorites.

And because sometimes it's just the perfect response :

That concludes this weeks edition of Tumblr Tuesday. Hop on by Lola's to see what she's got or to play along! Hopefully it won't be another week before I've got something to share. *kiss*



TMI and Tumblr Tuesday 1/10/12

I was all set to play along with Lola today instead of participating in TMI.....when I saw what today's TMI topic was about. Well. Suffice it to say (cock fan that I am) I couldn't pass it up, so I'm combining them into one post. TMI is up first :

****MATURE CONTENT: This post is for adults only. Visit another Tuesday when things aren’t so sexy, if you are uncomfortable with sexuality.****

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why? Neither, and both. I'll explain that, but firstly I'll say that compatibility is most important. A person has to know their physical limits and their sexual desires before finding an outie to play with their innie. Got me? Now about that whole silly length versus girth argument.....is it too much to ask for perfectly proportionate? I'm no size queen (not judging if you are) but I really don't need more than 7 inches. If you're swinging more than that it doesn't allow close body friction which is key in getting me off because I don't use my hands on myself during sex, and trying to go in balls deep would just probably bruise my cervix. No thanks. Assuming that longer is better than shorter and that thicker is better than narrow, I'd choose longer and narrow over shorter and thick. I feel like I'm all over the map with my answers on this one, because so many variables are involved. Okay - final answer. Length. There I said it.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle? No.

3. Best place to put a penis? In a cage. LOL No...I kid, I kid. In my vag. I'm totally a PIV girl. Love the cock.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it? Probably masturbate all day. I'd want to experience a blowjob, but since that requires time to find someone willing (I hear that's hard to come by for most penis owners) that would take away my time from guaranteed pleasure (myself). I'd like to fuck Od in the ass. Am I still a woman with said penis? That would keep the sex hetero, right? Or are we now in Tranny territory? I know for a fact he would freak out about it. But yeah. I'd guessing I'd have more luck getting into his ass than his mouth if I had my own cock. Oh - and I want my cock to come intact also, so I can finally get some experience in playing with a foreskin. I would totally go commando all day. Hell, I'd probably go around naked all day. With my hand on my cock. I would have so much fun. 

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock This one. Who's not gonna say they want it tight? ETA: oh. I read that as a different type of tight with other lips. oops! I'll stick with this answer though, since I am a penis, instead of having a penis. This way, I'll lay back and not have to do the work for a change!
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often? Mine.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Okay, that was fun. and just so you know, I'm still imagining all the things I could do with my very own dick. Penis envy. It's a real thing.

I knew as soon as I saw this photo on tumblr I would be using it for this week. I gasped. My jaw dropped open. I wished for a time travel machine. Because him?

Add glasses and make those jeans buttonfly and you're looking at 22 year old Od. The hair, the beard, the body, the fur.....just everything. In fact, my eyes went directly to the left bicep looking for a scar. I was surprised to not see it. And to think just a couple of days ago I expressed my wishes to put a hurting on him. Not to say that present day Od is shabby. By no means. But 20 years has rendered him more........comfortable, shall we say? Me now + him then = both of us left in a panting, exhausted heap of blood, sweat, and tears. And when we could manage to pull ourselves up to walk away it would be with limps and matching smiles. Just sayin'.

This next photo just goes to show that black and white makes everything classy. Even something as wonderfully slutty as double penetration.

via

While we have such an extreme close up of balls (four of them, even) let's take a minute to address the grooming. This is one of two place where fur is not so welcome, in my opinion. Backs would be the other location. Other than backs and balls, feel free to go beastly. The reasoning behind this is sound, so hear me out. If you shave or trim them closely, your partners are more likely to want/agree to put their mouths down there. And that could lead to all kinds of fun adventures above or below the ball border. Whatever your thing is. Trust me on this one. Trust. Me. Other than that, all I can say about this photo is "Yes, please."

This a bit more tame, but the tumblrverse expands far and wide. You just never know what you'll find. I got a giggle out of this cutie.

via

If you like photos of animals and enjoy snarky humor then do yourself a favor and click in the via link under the squirrel. I'm not sure if I've recommended this guy's site before, but I visit it everyday for a dose of funny.

These are just awesome. Immediate artsy boner.

all 4 photos via

Who says blogs are a useless waste of time? I think they come in handy quite often. We could all learn something from the musing of others. This author who posted this? Yep. Genius.

Because it fits so well with the first part of my post, I thought I'd share with you what I think is the most perfect looking cock on the planet. And also what I'd want mine to look like. Seriously. It's like that thing just got unwrapped from the packaging, it's so perfectly smooth and shiny. And pretty. And, and, and.......unf. Okay. I'm done for. I have other things to do right now. ;)

Thanks for playing along!

*kiss*

Tumblr meme

1. Height: 5'4"
2. Virgin? uh, no
3. Shoe Size:US 8-1/2
4. Sexual Orientation: hetero
5. Do you Smoke? nope
6. Do you Drink? very rarely
7. Do you Take Drugs? no. i avoid all medication if possible
8. Age you get mistaken for: i think i look my age. without makeup i look younger
9. Have Tattoos? no.
10. Want any tattoos? i thought about it 2 years ago. but i'm fickle, therefore - no.
11. Got any Piercings? yes. 5
12. Want any piercings? not any more.
13. Best friend? my man.
14. Relationship status: married.
15. Biggest turn ons: nice hands, humor, a dirty mind, beink kinky, an easy smile, and lots more!!!
16. Biggest turn offs: ignorance and bad personal grooming
17. Favorite Movie: probably the HP series
18. I’ll love you if: you rub my tushie. I'll love you FOR.EV.ER.
19. Someone you miss: 22 year old Od. I would HURT that man. (in the good way. obvs)
20. Most traumatic experience: parenthood.
21. A fact about your personality: i'm bossy with no plans to change.
22. What I hate most about myself: i'm too quick to judge
23. What I love most about myself: ability for humor
24. What I want to be when I get older: aging gracefully
25. My relationship with my sibling(s): close-ish. we struggle at times.
26. My relationship with my parents: close. but right now i'm mad at one of them. it'll pass.
27. My idea of a perfect date: i don't strive for perfection. when things click, they just click. no way to make it happen.it could occur anywhere, doing anything.
28. My biggest pet peeves: bad spelling and mispronunciation. clutter. self important people.
29. A description of the girl/boy I like: brunette. blue eyes. glasses. furry. muscular. mostly thoughtful. handy. intelligent. gentle.
30. A description of the person I dislike the most: tall. balding. arrogant. stupid laugh. passive aggressive. manipulative. self important.
31. A reason I’ve lied to a friend: to save face.
32. What I hate the most about work: nothing.
33. What my last text message says: outgoing : u suck. plz refill my water. :/ incoming: srry
34. What words upset me the most: "i'll try". they really mean: i won't do it, but i'll string you along and make you frustrated hoping you'll forget.
35. What words make me feel the best about myself: "you're so creative"
36. What I find attractive in women. beautiful skin and kind personalities
37. What I find attractive in men. physical strength, confidence, know-how, good with kids.
38. Where I would like to live. i like here.
39. One of my insecurities. my thighs. ugh.
40. My childhood career choice. librarian or stripper. yes, really.
41. My favorite ice cream. strawberry, peach, or mint.
42. Who I wish I could be. idk? a better version of me?
43. Where I want to be right now. on vacation. 3 more months!
44. The last thing I ate. a fruit smoothie and a grilled chicken salad
45. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. Ryan Reynolds. (daughter has the movie Just Friends on)
46. A random fact about anything. I quite enjoyed my laps at the YMCA today due to the hottie that shared the track with me.

Tumblr Tuesday and random ramblings

Let's take this point by point, shall we?

• I had a lovely holiday season and must've been a good girl at least a little bit because I got everything on my Christmas list. And then some. I'm most excited about my sewing machine that I asked for, and the GORGEOUS silver and turquoise necklace that was a total surprise.
• We visited an international food market that's close by for the first time, and as expected I'm kicking myself for never having been before. It's like the Disney World of grocery stores. $200 later we had a cart full of fun stuff that never makes the usual grocery list. (like spicy Cajun tuna jerky, fresh mozzarella, pomegranates, shark steaks, Texas caviar, fresh pretzel buns, jalapeno Havarti, and pickles from a barrel) It was a purely fun shopping trip. We've been feasting off our bounty for the last 4 days and every meal has been like our private little tapas bar. It's awesome. Good food, even the simplest, makes me incredibly happy. Must.Go.More.Often.
• Saw a crazy amount of movies, at home and in the theater. Re watched Water for Elephants and once again fell in love with the pretty face, voice, and hands of Robert Pattinson. The scenes at the end when he's holding a baby? OMG, my ovaries nearly exploded. That happen to anybody else with hot men and babies? That can't just be me, right? Also saw Cowboys and Aliens and it.....wasn't as bad as I though it would be. It had redeeming qualities. Cowboys. Duh. Also saw J. Edgar. Really like it. Not a history buff, as I never knew he was a homosexual. I'd heard about him wearing lady's clothing, but not the gay rumors. The movie portrayed him as repressed and unfulfilled all the while having a romantic relationship with his #2 man. Together, but not together. He accomplished so much in his career, but failed at personal acceptance and happiness. How sad.
• On the way out of the movies (seeing J. Edgar) I noticed two cute boys holding hands as they briskly walked to their car. As I struggled to get my breath from the sharpness of the stinging wind I did a double take to see if I was seeing things right. It made me smile, knowing things are changing for the better. Plus, um, you know. Two cute boys.  ;)  Silly it made me so happy, but around here - that's progress.
• Speaking of stinging winds...that's about as harsh as the weather got for Christmas. We had to pull the shades on Christmas morning because the sun was shining so brightly. And the weather was nice. Dammit. Didn't even need a coat. Next year. I swear. Next year I'm running away to someplace guaranteed to be snowy for Christmas.
• Had some really nice sex over the lazy holiday stretch. Od had accumulated plenty of days off and used them for most of December to allow us the opportunity to celebrate his birthday (43!), our anniversary (18!) and to enjoy a relaxed Christmas and New Year. Done and done. Also had some awkward, not quite satisfactory attempts and approaches to sex. Meh. It happens. Part of the reason was because I decided to avoid toys to try to sensitize my body. What actually occurred was me getting frustrated and crabby. Once I caved and pulled the toys out, the world was a perfect place again. What I learned that I already knew : there is no right way or wrong way to get off. Just be thankful that you can and that you know your own body well enough to give it what it needs.
• I had a nice surprise when my Fan Fiction world collided with my Tumblr world quite by accident. It was a serendipitous moment of my pervy beginnings coming full circle. After all, I can thank those wonderfully filthy-minded women for sparking my interest in all things non-vanilla. Really. Never underestimate a woman with time on her hands who claims to write fictional stories. Dirty whore, probably. In the most delightful way, of course. It makes me realize I have chosen my friends poorly. Wherever these women live, I want to go there and be amongst my own kind. *sigh*
• Toyed with the idea of giving up any attempts to bring my husband around to the idea of being kinky. Maybe just live with the fantasies in my head. (since kinky adventures have taken a considerable step back lately) Then my stubborn streak kicks in and digs heels in and refuses to be unsatisfied. Just thinking of my dusty harness awaiting it's sophomore run makes me antsy in my pants. Tumblr isn't helping any either. So, when I see Od perusing Tumblr on his own, and looking at something that is definitely not my speed (but not out of the question) it makes me think how silly that we both have these thoughts, these desires that are going unmet. That's not who we are. We have a gift. The gift of open communication and acceptance that others lack and here we are wasting it. So what if he needs a push? I'm pushy. I should use it to my advantage. Hell, maybe he needs me to be pushy. (that's what I tell myself anyway) So, I brought up a proposal of...taking turns. It needs to be fleshed out, but.......I'm hopeful this will work for us.
• Speaking of Tumblr (one more time), Lola has started something fun and has invited her readers to post favorite photo finds. She's calling it Tumblr Tuesday and I think it's a great idea. I have roughly......oh, let's say a few (hundred) photos that I've saved that I could share. ;)  I'll start with my most recent, from a lovely woman who may or not be one of my favorite authors, as well.

all of my kinkiness started with the infatuation of this man. true story.



divine bitch, indeed. lucky one, too.



Called the jockey position. Never knew. I though we made it up all those years ago.......

Tumblr : good for laughs as well!

I'll leave you with wishes for a happy and healthy and horny New Year. I'm well on my way already. 

HNT - first and last

Just over a year ago when I began blogging I had already been enjoying the, uh...creative efforts of other certain bloggers who played along with Half Nekkid Thursday. Could I? Couldn't I? Yes, no, maybe.......

*laughs with hindsight*  Well. It took me all of three posts to say to myself  okay, just this one. And this was it :

Spirit makes her debut. Wait - no. That's Tradition.

And you know what? I think it's been my favorite so far. That initial rush of thrill, of naughtiness, of exposure - it made my heart race and I'm certain I was biting my lip and taking a calming breath as I hit the publish post button. This was a big stretch for me - someone who had absolutely no intention of becoming an exhibitionist. Believe me. I'm still not. I much prefer to look. But the kind words rolled in and I was rewarded for my bravery. Sometimes I played, sometimes I didn't. But it was always, always fun.

Since HNT is winding down to a close it seems appropriate to give thanks to the man behind the naughtiness. Thanks Os, for offering bloggers a way to share themselves and appreciate others. The world, tangible and intangible, could always stand for more of that.

For the last time folks,

Happy HNT

*kiss kiss*

The gift of laughter

I love to laugh. I laugh at raunchy jokes, I laugh when I'm nervous, I even laugh sometimes after I cum simply because it feels so good. I've inherited a good sense of humor from my mother and it's a gift worth having, so therefore a gift worth sharing.

I got these cartoons in an email (from my mother no less) and they're too good not to share with all my pervy and sexy friends and readers.

Enjoy!

This one's my favorite!!!  :)

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and warm hugs and cocoa flavored kisses to everyone! :)

TMI Tuesday Happy Holidays Edition



I would leave this tree up allllll year long.

This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season.

1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it. I'll be celebrating Christmas this year, like always.

2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune? Well, I'm not gonna play favorites, but I'll give you a rundown of my must-haves for the holidays. Firstly, if I was going to listen to no other Christmas recordings for the rest of my life then I would be happy to narrow it down to Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole. My favorite kind of Christmas is a vintage Christmas and these two men give me the nostalgic warm and fuzzies.

From Bing :
1. White Christmas
2. I'll Be Home For Christmas
3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
4. It's Beginning To Look Like Christmas
and...
5. Mele Kalikimaka (not that I'm from Hawaii, or have ever been there, but it's sooooo much fun to sing along to!)

From Nat:
1.The Christmas Song
2. Silent Night
3. Caroling, Caroling
4. The First Noel
and...
5. O Come All Ye Faithful (but to be honest, the whole album is my favorite.)

Oh! also, how could I forget? My newest favorite is Josh Groban's version of "O Holy Night". I've never heard a version of this song I didn't like, but this man sings it like an angel. Listen here.

3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:

- What’s the gift you most want? Snow. Always snow. You'd think living in the Midwest that this wouldn't be too hard for Mother Nature to deliver...alas, no snow on Christmas for quite a few years. Why can I remember as a kid every single year it was snowy, if not actually snowing on Christmas, but now...nothing? *Pouts* I really, really want snow. Dreaming of a white Christmas, indeed.

- What do you think is the best gift you are giving? Well, my kids are getting iPhones for Christmas. So those are the most generous gifts I'm giving, because they are also receiving a good amount of trust along with those phones. But I'm most excited about giving everyone else something that they specifically want. We exchanged lists this year, so I know for certain my family will like what they get. That feels good.

4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be? In a cabin somewhere in the snowy woods, all bundled up in front of a glowing fireplace with a cup of cocoa in my hands with Bing or Nat playing in the background while I gaze at the twinkling lights on the tree, surrounded by my family. I've wanted this for three years in a row and I keep threatening to make it happen. I say threaten because my mother would have apoplectic fits if I dared to stray from the traditional routine. That's not what's keeping me from doing it, either. My husband could care less, but my daughter threw a panicked fit, and my son refused to go. Can a girl not have an old fashioned Christmas? Apparently only by herself. Hmph. Anyone else want to join me? I know how we could stay warm.........

5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:

a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier. Not a problem. All my family lives in travelling distance, and there's a manageable number of us. As long as they don't mind pitching in to do dishes, we're golden!
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house. Only if we're talking about my in-laws.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve? To someplace remote and snowy? Yes please!

6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake? Fruitcake is the worst gift ever. You might as well say "I don't really like you and I'd rather not spend any time or energy giving you a gift." Unless...the recipient is a weirdo (like my husband) who actually likes - no LOVES- fruitcake. His grandma makes them and he's always loved hers the best. When she moved to Florida he was heartbroken over no more fruitcakes. I took pity on him 2 or 3 years ago and tried to make him one following Betty Crocker's recipe. What I learned : fruitcake making is a fine art. The soaking part is the trickiest. Also, those sons of bitches are expensive!!! Do you know how much all that candied fruit and nuts and stuff costs? Just to make something that only, like...3 percent of the population actually enjoys??? Waaaaay too much. And then to have to start over because you dipped the cakes for too long and they got soggy and fell apart! Nope. Not gonna do it again. I don't want to know how to make them that badly. He can buy his own awful fruitcake.

Bonus:  Share with us one of your holiday traditions. I'm going to say something that sounds truly dirty, but it's not I swear. At Christmas time we play "Hide the pickle". My mother has a pickle ornament that gets hidden on her tree and the grandkids look for it and whoever finds it gets to either open a present first or receives a special ornament. This tradition is supposed to be German, but my mom's German friend has never heard of it. Maybe it's regional? Or maybe the Germans are laughing at the silly Americans who believe that "hiding the pickle" is for Christmas and not some other time. Who knows. My daughter is reigning champion. Figures. LOL :)