Then and Now

Thank you to the TMI Tuesday reader who submitted the following THEN AND NOW questions. He wanted to remain anonymous.

1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you? Oh, wow, okay.....let's do some inventory : I like to think there's a natural course that women take in their sexual development, so the concepts that I'm now in my late 30s and using vibrators and toys in the bedroom doesn't embarrass me or that knowing my body very well and taking what I need from a relationship and being vocal about it are par for the course. If one is lucky.

I'll even go so far as to say that my love of receiving and giving anal sex, and my penchant for gay porn (while surprising to me just 3 years ago) is a part of the natural progression of my sexuality. I've said it many times : when one opens their mind to new ideas and possibilities, it's damn near impossible to close it back. Essentially, once you go kink, you'll do more than you think.

My 17 year old self (which is a perfect age, BTW, since it was a pivotal age for me) would be shocked at most of the kinky fuckery I get up to on a good day. She'd pull a skeptical face and ask "Really???" But she would be downright scandalized, dare I say pissed off at the idea of her pending marriage becoming anything less than 100% monogamous. Cheating and messing around a.k.a. "being intimate in any way with anyone else beside your partner", although hurtful, was part of the teenage boyfriend/girlfriend experience. I should know. I messed around a lot behind my boyfriends' backs. At a time in my life when I was tired of boys, I met a man who possessed all the qualities I'd been needing in a partner. Never mind that I was underage and he was 22. Within 4 months of dating him he asked and I said yes. I was never more sure of anything in my life, except for the fact that we were everything each of us would ever need.

So, fast forward to today when I openly flirt with men, lust after them, have unconventional friendships with men who are not my husband, and at one time have even participated in a D/s play partnership, all with the knowledge, blessing, and acceptance of my husband...I think my 17 year old self would be holding me down to stitch the letter A permanently and directly on my skin. My views on monogamy have been the biggest change for me because I held a deeply rooted opinion about it previously.

2. What one thing might shock that younger you? That at some point in the future, the person I loved the most and made me the happiest would also be the person I hated the most and made me the unhappiest. Inconceivable.

Oh, and that over 20 years later women's health and reproductive rights would be threatened with a possible backslide that would take them back to the 19th century. Also inconceivable.

3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia? Hands down, my body and his stamina. I'd love to travel back in time to my life then with my mind now. I have vivid flashbacks of the feel and sight of the hard flat planes of our abdomens gliding furiously against each other covered in sweat. There were times I had to wipe it away in order to get the friction I needed. We're both...shall we say...a little more comfortable to cuddle up with now. :)

4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled? I have yet to become a burlesque dancer, work as a naughty librarian, or take my husband back to Paris with me and fuck him senseless in the City of Lights. My only regret is the Paris thing.

Bonus: Give your 17 year old self a piece of sexual advice. Grow some ovaries and ask yor mother to take you to the doctor to go on the pill. She knows you're having sex, so stop being embarrassed to say it out loud so you can have reliable birth control, because dear, you suck at using condoms.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

The one where Freya admits to hating cock

Did you know there's this cool thing called t.v.?
And if you have digital cable, there's this thing called a guide right on the screen anytime you want to know what's on that cool t.v.?
Did you know that episodes of your favorite t.v. shows all have names? (it tells you right there in the guide)

Well, I recently re-learned all these things, and am amused by them all.

You see, I stopped watching television 3 years ago when my reading habits hit full force. It coincided with the time that our couch finally became so worn and uncomfortable that I stopped sitting on it, or going into the t.v. room for any reason at all, really. I tried for awhile to hang out in there and read while Od watched a show, but 1.) I need super silence to read 'cause I'm easily distracted due to Mommy ears - I hear ev.er.y.thing., and 2.) a person can only listen to so much Storage Wars and Pawn Stars before you wanna kill someone. Seriously, that's ALL he watches and those two shows seem to run continuously. Well, he does watch NCIS. All 347 seasons of it. Again, it's ALWAYS playing, and every time it is, it's "one he hasn't seen before".  My bedroom, with it's comfy bed, became my favored retreat area. This also coincided with my kids hitting the hard teen years full force, so it all worked out nicely.

But now we have a new, comfy couch, and I've crawled out of my cave and rejoined the family in the family room. I've claimed the best seat on the sofa and taken control of the remote once again. And you know what? I like t.v. My watching habits are rusty, so it's hit or miss for me catching the shows I watch on the actual night they air...but you know what else???? I can DVR them and watch them whenever I want! I know, right? It's like magic.

So anyway, before I learned how to work the DVR function, and whenever I was in the mood for mindless recreation, I'd power up the boob tube and I could always find some Friends. You know my friends don't you? Rachel, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica? Sure you do. I've known them ever since a fateful day back in the fall of 1994 when as a tired, desperate mother I wanted to unwind after struggling to get my colicky baby to sleep. I caught the pilot episode, and it was instant love. I tuned in every week. I laughed with them, I loved with them, I shipped R and R so hard that it hurt, and I mourned the loss of them when the show ended. Seeing them again in reruns reminds me bitter sweetly just how much time has passed. But I get to watch with new eyes and I get to know things I didn't know back then. Like the names of the episodes. Because my handy dandy digital cable guide tells me. They all start "The one with..." or "The one where..." How clever.

So now it's a thing with me. I was entirely too amused with the gimmick of the show titles, and I like to apply it to my everyday life. Right now "The one with no sex for 13 days" is playing. Or, "The one where Freya loses her voice". If you don't like those, we can change the channel to the episode that plays all day every day from sun up to sun down : "The one where Freya admits to hating cock".

This kind of cock, silly.



I don't even know how this happened, as I live right in the center of the city , but one of my neighbors has a cock. And I hate it. Specifically, I hate it most when the weather is cool enough (like right now) to have the windows open while sleeping. While trying to sleep. And I hate it whenever I spend time outside and hear the damn thing crowing. 'Cause you wanna know something about this rooster? It crows all. the. fucking. time. He doesn't just do his job in the morning, greeting the break of day, then spend his day happily pecking at bugs and chasing his hens. Oh, no. He's a malcontent little fucker and he shares it with everybody. All. the. time. Did I mention that part?

He cock a doodle doos when I wish he cock a doodle didn't. Ever again. This has been going on for over a year. I can't believe one of his closer neighbors hasn't complained. It's got to be against some sound ordinance, or something.

I bet I can flip the t.v. channel over to the food Network and rustle up a tasty recipe for coq au vin.

Au naturale

Not once in my earthly life have I ever considered myself a hippie. Hippy - yes. Hippie - no.

Even my parents, who were part of the right generation, were never hippies. My dad had a ponytail for a brief period and my mom loved her macrame. That's as close as it got.

However, without any real effort on my part, I seem to be moving more and more towards a more natural way of being. Perhaps I'm just getting older and becoming more aware of how I need to respect and take care of my body and environment. Or perhaps Mother Nature has been speaking to me all along and I've only now begun listening.

All around me there's little changes. Organic foods are taking up a larger spot in my grocery cart than ever before, and that's when I bother to grocery shop. I've had a field day at local produce stands and farmer's markets this past spring and summer. I'm opting to make and use natural cleansers to avoid harsh chemicals. I'm bartering my goods and handiwork for that of others : haircuts, handmade soap, and lip balm. Not only do I reduce, reuse, and recycle, but I compost, too.

You're more likely to find me sans bra than sporting one. The first thing I want to do when I get home is strip down to as little as possible and pad around the house barefoot. I have a new appreciation for the body as it was created, and honestly one of my biggest regrets is that as a young mother I stupidly conformed to modern medical beliefs and had my son circumcised. It's no secret that I happen to love a man in his natural, hairy state. If you're naturally smooth, that's cool too. Whatever is good for you is good for me.

Personally, I prefer to be smooth. It's not a chore for me to remain smooth. I have genetics to thank for that. But 3 weeks ago I didn't shave. I don't know why. I just didn't. Not even on sheet changing day. And there's almost nothing better than smooth clean legs sliding into fresh, soft sheets.

I took out my shaving supplies, set them on the edge of the tub, and during my washing, conditioning, scrubbing, and exfoliating I couldn't bring myself to pick up the razor. Why? I thought. I'll just be miserable in two days scratching like crazy at the itchy new growth. I'll leave marks, then the body lotion will sting, because I always have to use lotion. And if I'm not going to shave my legs, why would I shave my underarms? And since I was already a couple weeks behind on shaving my pussy, well...a matched set made more sense to me. I'll be saving time, the environment, and some sanity all in one.

So, how's it going? Well, I decided to show off my fluff and fuzz to Od, so he would know this was an intentional move. He leaned in closely to peer at my pits, rubbed them to verify there was anything there, then said "I'm proud of you for trying." Then the fucker laughed at me! You see, he's pretty much got the market cornered in our household as far as body hair goes. Me? Well, *sigh...*, I resemble a 13 year old blond boy trying to grow a beard.

I was expecting him to complain about my leg hair the most, but it's grown in so soft and sparse that it's been a non-issue. Not that he would complain. He's not like that. Actually, he wouldn't say so if I asked directly, in case I change my mind, but I think he prefers me with a bush. He's been petting me more than usual. That may or may not be due to a month long dry spell we just got over. The point is, he seems to like it, and I do too.

It'll be easy for me to keep this up for awhile because fall is right around the corner with it's cool weather requiring leg coverings and long sleeves. For now I'm keeping as much as possible au naturale.

TMI Tuesday Big O, Little O, mine, or yours - I like 'em all

My first waking thought today wasn't *gasp* "It's 9/11" followed by swooping sentimentality of all that it means to live in the U.S. in the aftermath of what happened on this particular date years ago.

Instead, I woke to the thoughts of my hair appointment, my daughter's doctor's appointment, when I would squeeze the morning walk with the dog in, did a mental checklist of all my class prep work for tonight, and then I subtracted a few minutes from the "getting ready" column and added them to the "getting off" column.

On this date of September 11, 2012 I choose to celebrate the life affirming beauty that is all around me, with all of it's responsibilities, all of it's freedoms, all of it's simple joys, and I'm thankful for being able to do that. I'm living life how I choose to live it and I do what I can to be happy. That's how I respect the memory of people no longer with us, no matter the way in which they left us.

I prefer quiet observation rather than showy, public offers of respect.

So on this gorgeous day with a bright sunny sky and hardly any humidity to undo my new 'do, I took the scenic route on my walk, I gave an extra wide smile to fellow walkers, I played with my pup just a little longer and gave him a treat before breakfast just because I could, I revelled in the spare time I have today because I'm on top of my game and I'm ready for class, and also because I made an effort to start the day off relaxed and with a smile.

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The Big O

1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it. I can recall masturbating fairly young. Probably 7 or 8 years old. Not with any knowledge or expectation of results other than "when I do this thing it feels really good and I should probably keep this to myself". I don't remember if I had an orgasm that young. I do remember having them at age 11. I didn't know they were orgasms. I associated this fabled orgasm as a pleasurable part of sex with a partner. I wouldn't know that I had indeed been having orgasms until I was 17 and had my first partnered orgasm. I recognized the building sensation and was elated at figuring out that puzzle. It was an unforgettable moment of self discovery.

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc). Through deep penetration with body to body contact and clitoral stimulation. Currently that means that I was fucked with my Vixen Mustang dildo strapped into a knee harness with a bullet vibe pressed between us against my clit. Must. Do. That. More. Often. I was so drained that I couldn't move afterwards. God, I love his legs.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc). I'm pretty lucky and versatile as far as orgasms go. I've done a lot of personal exploration, and for all my frustrations in the anatomy/sexual pleasure department, I have a lot to be thankful for. However, I'd love to be able to experience multiple orgasms with a partner, the rolling, connected kind of orgasm after orgasm with out a vibrator.  I'm not wired that way, though, I don't think.  Also, if ever once in my life I experience an orgasm through double penetration involving two men and their cocks I would die an extremely happy woman.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?   I don't really have many sex dreams. I woke up once from a dream on the verge of orgasm, but the shock from having that particular dream chased it away. The sex dreams that I do have are vivid, usually bizarre, and I get more caught up in the storyline than the pleasure going on, or somehow my brain edits out the pleasurable parts. My sleeping brain is a cock blocking asshole. 

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? Usually by fantasizing about something from my taboo list. If I'm mentally aroused then it doesn't matter if I use my fingers (the least dependable of my methods) or my strongest vibrator.

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? I don't try. I just do. Or I don't. Usually it's at least one or two just to stay sane. Closer to 6-10 if I'm having a good week or I'm hormonal.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first? Yes, we've had simultaneous orgasms. It was fun and nice that we could experience that in the beginning of our relationship. We don't cum at the same time anymore. Well, rarely. This is for a lot of reasons. Our style of sex has changed drastically. Sometimes there's no penile penetration. What gets me off has changed drastically. Sometimes he's more of an assistant than a director. How long he can last during  has changed.  I'd like this to change but I work with what I've got. And sometimes, just sometimes, his orgasm isn't even on the menu. No matter the sex act that's going on, though, I've become a big fan of separate orgasms. I enjoy mine more thoroughly when it's just about me in that moment without any distractions. I don't feel like I'm missing out on my favorite show. And during his orgasm I prefer to be 100% present in the moment for him, so I can watch and listen.

In a mutual situation where both of us are aiming for an orgasm, though - I cum first.

8 – Can you have multiples? I can have more than one orgasm in an extended session using toys. Typically two is my limit unless I use my Panasonic "back massager", then I can go for more (last week I think I timed 6) but they are not as enjoyable as the two back-to-backs that I enjoy with other toys. Sometimes I'm just greedy and I like having more just 'cause I can, and I like the sweaty exhaustion from working so hard to get that many.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm? By myself, average is 5 minutes. Longer if my imagination is rusty or my iPhone takes a long time to buffer the video clip. With a partner it can be just as quick or take much longer if we're having an off day and not in sync.

10 – Have you ever faked one? Yep. I wish I could proudly state how dishonest and counterproductive it is to fake and that I've not done it, nor would I ever. The truth is, when I was younger and experimenting with sex acts I didn't have the courage to ask for what I wanted or to give directions if I needed a change. I was experiencing pleasurable feelings, regardless, and the only way I knew to express that was through faking it. It was immature and a clear sign that perhaps I wasn't ready for sex. But my offenses didn't end there. I've faked it plenty throughout my marriage. At times when I knew for certain that he was suffering a tender ego, and I didn't want to detract from his pleasure, I've faked it knowing that his unhappiness in not pleasing me might make him hold off longer on future encounters. Things have changed for us a lot in the past 2 1/2 years, where sexual pleasure and satisfaction does not always equal orgasm, and I'm honest and up front about everything now. In the long run I know this is better for us, even if there's still some frustrating days.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday

Hey there blog readers! Hello? Anyone still there? Oh - there you are. :)
I'm diving back into writing. I have some things to say, some stories to tell, and issues to get off my chest. I forgot how cathartic writing things out could be. I've been easily distracted by tumblr, along with the general distraction of not having any alone time for almost the entire summer. Whew! It's been way too long. In more ways than one, but I'll get to that later.....

Gettin’ Off

1. Have you ever initiated a booty call? I've participated in intentional hook ups, but that's different, I suppose. I can only recall one time in person where I initiated a booty call. I showed up at his door after work on a school night for the sole purpose of getting laid. He obliged me. Then sent me home so I wouldn't be late and get in trouble.

2. Have you ever accepted a booty call? Of sorts. I received an email from someone who needed help getting off to kill some time in an airport. I provided the words and scenario tailored to his likes and he was very grateful. I have the video as proof!

3. Ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend? The closest I've come to that is when I agreed to go to prom with Jeff if we were both single at the time (which we did) and somehow that morphed into a relationship. With benefits. So no, not really. Mostly I've been single, dating around, or in relationships. I could use a FWB, to be honest.

4. Tell us about your best one-night stand, what made it so good? This  is tricky...mostly because all my one timers were so long ago, but also because there were good and bad aspects to nearly all of them. I could easily pick the worst of all my singular encounters (Randy in the pool) but the best? Hmmm...surprisingly I'll go with Shawn. He was the slutty friend of my friend's boyfriend and we were drinking (hello lower inhibitions) and I was underage. It should have never happened, but I wasn't so young that I couldn't appreciate his comical attitude, his fun nature and the fact that he went down on me very well before he assumed it would be okay to wave his dick in my face. He in turn was appreciative of my burgeoning blow job skills. He even sang to me afterwards, praising me. He flattered me, showed me a good time, and made me laugh, even if he didn't make me cum. The only downside to the encounter was the brief period of time afterwards that I worried over the possibility of contracting an STI from him. Like I said, he was a slut.

5. When was your last one-night stand? August 1991 Navy Boy

6. What’s the grimiest, dirtiest place that you’ve had sex? I've had sex on a store floor before, but on a blanket so no, that doesn't count. In my car, but the front seat was tidy, so no. A pool - there's chlorine to kill bacteria. A shower - the epitome of clean fun. Outside in the grass perhaps but only my backside.....Wait. Nope. I got it. The time me and boyfriend #1 had sex doggy style in the middle of my childhood elementary school's playground field. My hands and knees ended up getting muddy and we had to walk uptown to the gas station (nearest public restroom) to clean up before going back to my house. My mother had eagle eyes and would notice any suspicious behavior once we returned.
 
Bonus: What’s the one random thing you wish your friends knew about you? I have a handful of very good friends. People that I let in already know the things I  wish they would know. It's hard to earn my trust and easy to lose it, so when I have a good friend, I'm an open book.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday 7/31/12

The Comfort and Thrill of Sex

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t really enjoy it.
e. I don’t enjoy it at all.
f. I have never given anal sex.
g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! Bend over for me baby. Penis, fingers, sex toys? YES TO ALL! (okay it's a proxy penis in the form of a dildo, but still...) There's a certain trust involved that I love, plus the added intensity of his orgasms are very nice. One of my goals is to give him a hands free orgasm through prostate play. He'll need to be more comfortable with his own ass before that ever happens, I think. It's a work in progress. We don't play with his ass enough to have figured out the magic combination.

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! I enjoy anal very enthusiastically, when the mood is right. I know my body well and listen to clues as to how I want to get off. I get a craving for anal play (for myself) maybe once a month.  I'm not above telling Od to use his fingers, to grab my plug, or to fuck me in the ass. It's better though when he offers it because he knows I enjoy it. Coincidentally, he offered last night and it was fanfuckingtastic! I've learned two curious things about anal stimulation for me : 1.) my pussy gets wetter than ever when something is placed in my ass. It makes no sense to me, but it's instantly soaked. 2.) once I cum, all placement and movement of whatever is in my ass needs to stop immediately. It goes from 'ohmygodthisisthebestthingEVER!!!' to 'okaystopgetitoutnowpleasegetitout!!!'. There is no such thing as round 2 with anal.

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?
a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.
c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.
e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.
f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.
I can't even remember what that feels like. I've not had a new lover in almost 21 years. (and Jesus, just typing that seems weird) It's not a turn on, because I have a thing about being watched. That in itself is strange because I'm a HUGE voyeur, but being watched closely, or silently, or intently almost makes my skin crawl. If I'm being touched, or there's talking or some other distraction it's not too bad. I don't really understand why this is. I have no problem being naked, getting naked, and lord knows I've done a strip routine a time or two...this is probably a topic better left to a therapist. ;) And I can't honestly say that it does nothing for me, because it does to an extent, plus it means there's most likely going to be sexy times. Woohoo! But the feelings are tempered with that dreaded feeling of being inspected. And it's not that I don't like it because I'm shy. I'm not a shy person. Like...at all. And we're all aware that most sex bloggers don't have many issues with natural acts being immoral or improper so that's definitely out. I'm drawing a blank on this one. Oh hey, I know! Maybe I need a new lover to try this out with and I can get back to you with an answer. Yes?

4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
(a.) I make a lot of sounds and am free with them. It turns Od on to hear me and I use my sounds to let him know when he's REALLY doing something right. Words tend to fail me in the actual act, so sounds are good. Loud sounds are better.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
Probably (a.) Curiously though, we do most of our dirty talking outside the bedroom. Our daily conversations are filled with innuendos and codes, and when the kids aren't nearby it's downright filthy. I say things often to test his boundaries and to gauge him sexually. I also like to threaten to do things to him. It's fun because it makes him smile this sweet little boy smile that is part amusement, part disbelief. He's come to find out that I'm not always joking. Foolishly, he admitted to liking me this way. It's our own mild version of consensual non-consent, if you will.

6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
Well, I don't squeak and I won't make your ears bleed, so I'm left with option (b.) That's not exactly right either. Maybe a growling wolf, if I've had a hard time chasing down an orgasm, but more likely a panting wolf. I do this breath holding thing when I get really close. Then when I actually cum, all bets are off as to the sound that comes out.

Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
Both. I want it all. The perfect situation is to have all these options. Some days it's lazy, reconnective, let me show you I love you sex, and other times there's a driving passion to pull out the bag of tricks, do some research on a new technique and fuck each other silly. I never want to get to a place where there's nothing new left. I do believe that the comfort and familiarity needs to come first, but the relationship doesn't need to stop there. I've said it before, but sex is like recess for adults. It's where we play and simply enjoy ourselves. Tag and hopscotch are great, but will get stale if that's all there is. I like swings, I like slides, I want the whole fucking playground. And maybe, just maybe, I want to share my toys and go play at a friend's house, too. ;)

*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Let's Go To Bed (yes, let's!!!)

Let’s Go To Bed

(Yes that is an invitation as well as a song by one of my fave groups The Cure. –Hedone)

The perfect bedroom. Sleep in cool sheets, have hot sweaty sex, take a dip to cool off. Rinse. Repeat.

Allow me to preface my answers with a few words. It should be alarming to me that I got excited and squealy over this week's TMI topic. Much more than last week's - and that was about kink. Y'all know how I feel about kink. The summer lazies have a tight grip on me and I've spent hours and hours in my bed relaxing, reading, hiding from my kids, trying out new toys, napping, watching movies, etc...I'm not even kidding when I tell you that the words "hey look.....I'm vertical!" have been announced to no one in particular as an actual  accomplishment.

I sincerely love my bed. Carrying on........

Most importantly it is the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Tell us about your bed.

1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)? My bed is a queen. If I had the room for it, it'd be a king, but our bedroom is close quarters as it is with the queen.

2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)? I'm the lucky owner of a Tempurpedic-Cloud Luxe. It's fucking spectacular. It's like a full body hug every time I lay down. I actually moan at times from the sheer pleasure of becoming horizontal.

3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe. Well - we removed the headboard and footboard (which had canopy posts that we never utilized) a long time ago "to make the room more spacious". That's what we said. What it really meant was : they squeak too loudly during sex and Freya strains the headboard too much by pushing on it! That was our old bed. On our new-ish bed we  have just the mattress and a weird platform base that needed somewhere to go other than the floor. We (and by we I mean Od) took the opportunity to...uh, customize the new frame. It's shaped like a tic tac toe board with open edges that make nice storage compartments, it's super sturdy (no squeaking), and it conveniently has multiple points where hardware has been affixed for restraints. Due to the nature of the memory foam mattress and the sturdiness of the frame Od could fuck me, or I could fuck him, into oblivion and anyone in the house will be none the wiser. Theoretically. There's still human noises to account for. ;)

*let me make note that even though the bed skirt hides the hardware, I've had to hold my breath and shoo them out quickly when I find one of the kids looking under there for the cat. We now have a locking set on our door, and I lock it all. the. time.

4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose? I was tied to the old bed using ropes and at the time I hated it. That was when it was still my bed in my childhood bedroom. I took it with me when I moved out. I have been restrained to the new bed using adjustable straps, cuffs, and clips - but not as much as I've restrained someone to them. For the purpose of dirty, dirty, kinky sex, of course.

5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)? Cotton sateen sheets. I purposely time shaving my legs with new sheet day and those two things combined with the heady scent of fabric softener and a lavender-vanilla pillow mist that I use.....it's absolute heaven.

6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)? No blankets. I have a furry man to cuddle up to. *grins* Although I have a plush brown blanket ("dinky", in our house thank you very much) that I use on my side of the bed between the sheet and comforter on the rare winter night.

7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)? Topping off my personal hideaway is a comforter. I want to get a down comforter after I learn to sew better so I can make multiple duvet covers. I'm a bit funny about bed coverings. I'm on my 9th set. They either wear out from multiple washings, obtain damage from kitty claws, I get bored with them, they don't match new decor, or like the one that I really, really loved...Od fucking hated it with a passion - it was too hot. It's a dream of mine to find a perfectly weighted comforter that doesn't cause him to break out in night sweats that will still be cozy and snug for me. One of these days.....

8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)? My pillow is dense and squishy, and it smells like coconuts. It's a memory foam pillow, of sorts. It was free with the bed. And it's awesome. Not good for pillow fights, though - someone could break a neck. Not that I remember the last time I had a pillow fight. I should remedy that soon. :)

Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.

If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no. Not sure how to approach my answer, but let me say this : there's a small number of men who would have a memorable time in my bed should the opportunity arise. And plenty more that have made guest appearances, if only in spirit.

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