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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

TMI Tuesday : Inspiration

As I cruise around the Internet reading my regular blogs and discovering new ones, the content of other bloggers often gives me ideas for TMI Tuesday questions. A few of you did that for me this week. I encourage TMIers to click on the links and read the blog posts that prompted a specific question.

1. List ONE word to describe your last sexual encounter. Overdue.

2. Can you recall your worst sexual experience? Why was it so awful? Did you do anything at the time to try to make it better?
Inspiration: http://husbandtwomindssexually.blogspot.com
I was young and experimental once so I've had a few standout experiences from that time period. One was the first time my boyfriend and I exchanged oral for the first time. What I remember is that it seemed instinctual to me what to do during a blowjob. It went enthusiastically well even though he was sweaty and smelled like typical boy on a hot summer day and I had to avoid cringing at the taste after he came in my mouth. I didn't know what to expect so I took all this in as a learning experience - not as a defining moment. When it was his turn to reciprocate, things didn't go so well. As I lay there naked and spread in all my teenage insecurity he took a few tentative licks (if that many) then made a face, proclaimed it tasted bad and pulled away. My legs snapped together and I couldn't find my clothes fast enough. I was too embarrassed and upset at his reaction to even talk about it. I learned two things that day. 1) My pussy tasted nowhere near as bad as his cum tasted because I went home and tried it for myself with a desperate need to know if I was indeed "gross".  And 2) There weren't any blowjobs in his future after behaving the way he did. I'm not sure what he expected a pussy to taste like. Maybe the wetness freaked him out. He was clearly unequipped with enough maturity to handle the act and I don't recall a second attempt. I hope for his future partners he overcame his aversion.

There was also the drunk guy I was skinny dipping with and everything was fun and flirty and going, uh...swimmingly until I experienced whiskey dick for the first and only time. That was the forgivable part. When we progressed to the point of needing a condom he couldn't get it up and then referred to his dick as his ding dong. The term put me off immediately and fun time was now over. Seriously? Ding dong? Ughhhh. No man wanting to be touched should call it that. EV.ER. Sad thing is, he thought we had a good time and continued to call me and try for another chance. I saw his friend around a few times and he gave me dirty looks like I was the shrew who turned his friend down over and over because of too much alchohol and an uncooperative penis. I let him believe that.

The worst sexual experience of my married life has got to be thinking that my sex life was over at the age of 32. Because for 3 years and 16 days it really was. There was nothing. I had yet to progress to thinking about straying from my marriage and there was no hope in sight of the situation within ever changing. And it's not like we talked about it. At all. Not once in that time did he ever ask me why I wouldn't have sex with him. Not once did he really try. Not once did he give me what I needed in order to let him in. And he seemed okay with his resolve. Even now I'm baffled at times how we managed to pull through. Okay. Actually no, I'm not. It's because of my determination. If I wasn't determined it would have fallen apart years ago, and might even fall apart today if not for my efforts and constant attention. It's tiring at times.

3. Do you fuck outside the box?
Inspiration: http://hausofmm.blogspot.com/2011/04/fucking-outside-box.html?
We all have a laundry list of things–features, demographic characteristics, etc. that we like and/prefer in a sexual partner. Do you ever deviate from that list? Give an example. The majority of my partners have been brunette with blue eyes. Mostly average build. All were caucasian. I think my box is fairly small. I never caught jungle fever or had the need for Asian persuasion. That's not to say I don't find many, many men outside my box absolutely fuckable. I've just not had the chance. Yet. As far as my box in terms of who I find attractive...well, that's a much bigger box. While I gravitate to middle aged brunettes with blue eyes and a decent amount of scruff somewhere on their body, I also find a good amount of Indian, Latino, and Mediterranean men to be very beautiful. I also find younger men catching my eye more frequently these days. I'm a fan of men in general and I've never been a woman who has a strict list of needs as far as looks go. Personality and compatibility will always go much, much further with me than looks.

4. Do you blend BDSM in to your relationship? If yes, just in the bedroom or in other areas of your life? Explain. Yes. Yes I do. Not to the extent I would prefer and not as often as I would have it. Inside the bedroom my husband is wired to be compliant, yet not so much as to be submissive. I get away with as much as I can  to flex my dominant skills, but they are mostly an untapped reserve. I could do so much more. At times I crave it, need it desperately. Outside of the bedroom I liken our marriage to a mild FLR. (female led relationship) I'm used to having my way, calling the shots, and making final decisions. He handed that torch over a long time ago.

5. Does the thought of your partner/significant other having sex with another person turn you on? Would you want to watch the act? Would you like to join in? Turn me on? Nah. But I have a mild curiosity about how he would be with someone else since I'm his only partner. I would watch of course, but not join in. I don't think he can handle just me most days. Two partners would be a logistical nightmare for him. We recently had a discussion on our sharing policy. Not a conversation I thought we'd ever have but it was enlightening.

Bonus: Fill in the blanks.
I like it buzzing on the outside and thrusting in the middle.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!