I have been (for the past year) starting over. My relationship with my husband was nearly broken. So much so that I had given up on saving him from his self-imposed unhappiness. He was lost to me. I had fought the good fight, and was about to accept defeat. It went against my nature. It cut away my pride. The unthinkable occurred. I surrendered. I quit trying to fix the unfixable. Just as I was washing the battlefield grime from my worn hands, something happened. Something changed.
I didn't know what it was. I still don't. But after I turned to walk away, one foot already heading in a new direction, he reached for my hand. It was a silent request. I can't tell you what prompted him. Maybe the silence after the long battle was deafening and he couldn't ignore it? Perhaps he sensed my resignation? It could be that ironic timing was at play here. It was too little. And it was too late. But a good warrior takes an "in" when it's given, especially when winning the most worthy fight of her life is at stake. I took it. In doing so, Od and I have been fighting our way back together. There's no right. There's no wrong. Only shared victory.
This past year has seen many, many changes for us. All good. Our journey is adventurous, passionate, and so far, never-ending.
We're claiming our new happiness together, leaving the past where it belongs. There's nothing to discuss. Nothing to fix. I have my partner back. What we're doing is creating something new. Something better.