Countless times I've begun posts in my mind, stringing words into phrases and pushing and prodding until they form cohesive thoughts. Then the reality of my current status kicks in and I tell myself that nobody wants to hear me complain. That's not who I am. Not what I'm here for. Not what my blog is about. So my name falls lower and lower on blogrolls and another week goes by when I cannot bring myself to write down the truth.
But the truth is (and I respect my readers enough to recognize that they understand life), that improvements don't last without proper upkeep. That bright and lovely shade of blonde will look ghastly in 2 months' time when there's a waterline of brunette haloing your scalp. Your car will leave you stranded if you fail to refill the gas tank with fuel. Weeds will overrun your garden, killing off the valuable plants if you don't pick up a hoe. And when riding a tandem bike uphill, if you stop pedalling at the request of your partner because you're going too fast, and that partner fails to pedal sufficiently, then you find yourself careening down the hill, backwards no less, unable to control how, where, or when the wreck will land. And then you sit on your bruised ass in shock for a long time wondering if it was an accident. You quickly realize it wasn't, but you can't figure out if you should blame your own bad judgement because you stopped pedalling, or your biking partner's lack of competence because...who the fuck just gives up and stops pedalling on an uphill climb?!?!
If you've guessed by now that that last little scenario is analogous to my sex life with my husband, then you win a gold star. I can get into the details of it all, and I will, even though I'm still scratching my head about it. (and tending to a sorely bruised ass) It will just take me some time. I've decided that I'm now treating this blog as a journal of sorts. There will still be sex stories, and life's amusing moments thrown in with my own brand of flippancy. There will also be cold hard truths of what it's like to have an unsatisfying sex life. (again) But the title of this blog still holds true. I'm determined to create something better, even if I'm creating by myself.