Extra Stuff

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

TMI Tuesday 2/28/12

This week’s TMI Tuesday is about sex and romance. Who doesn’t enjoy a little romance or the art of seduction before engaging in sex? Often times the prelude is better than the actual ‘event’.

1. You are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. Do you:

a) Throw something and then make out with the waiter. Who does this? Really? Now...that's not to say I wouldn't kill some time checking out other patrons and perhaps casting a few flirtatious glances for fun. ;) 
b) Check to make sure he or she didn’t get into an accident, then wait patiently for two hours and use the time to compose a love song or poem. I don't wait patiently and I rarely assume the worst such as an accident, therefore no love song or poem for you.
c) Send a nasty text followed up by a voice mail telling him/her that “romance is dead and so are you!” What am I, a drama queen? Maybe the low blood sugar is making me so nasty. 
d) Wait for 20 minutes, and then text-message a pal to join you for lunch. 20 minutes is about 5 minutes past my patience point, then I'm more likely to cut out and carry on with my day or just eat without you. No need to message a friend and wait even more. I can be my own good company. And by the way...if this is a romantic meal, why the hell am I meeting you? You couldn't pick me up?

2. What’s more important, a romantic relationship or your career? Romantic relationship. I'm greedy when it comes to the availability of my partner. Always have been. I knew at a young age there were professions that I couldn't tolerate in a mate. I never intended to tie myself down to someone who wouldn't be around. I believe in strong partner bonding and constant work travel or long hours isn't conducive to that, I'm afraid.

3. You love to role play in the bedroom, which one of these is more likely to be your kink?

a. Doctor and the naughty nurse Exam table, IV tubing, clamps, latex gloves, KY gel...I see some possibilities, but medical isn't my kink.
b. You’re the gardener, I’m the hoe Maybe, if there's a hose nearby to rinse the sweat and dirt off first.
c. Persnickety principal and the wayward pupil that needs a spanking Absolutely. Of course I'll be the principal, so don't forget to staighten your tie and tuck your shirt in, boy, or that'll cost you extra.....
d. Me Tarzan, you Jane Od would love this. He doesn't have to speak much and he can use his outdoor skills.
e. Scattered-brain boss and the seductive secretary I roleplay this everyday. I call it marriage. He can't remember shit and I'm in charge of the scheduling, date keeping, meetings, appointments. Only I never call him boss. ;)

4. When you want sex, who tends to make the first move?

a. Me! I like to go for what I want. Pretty much this, but I like to be surprised sometimes.
b. It varies. Sometimes my partner/significant other/date or sometimes me.
c. Oh definitely the other person. Even if I want it, I’m not about to admit such a thing.No. Just....no. I can't even relate. How sad this approach must be, not to mention boring for their partner.
d. I drop subtle hints hoping he/she will pick up on it. Sometimes I do this. I go "fishing" every now and then to test his awareness. I might be a sure thing, but he's got to keep his gaming skills sharp.

5. When it comes to lovemaking, select the answer that best describes you/your attitudes

a. vanilla – meets society’s middle of the road standards Nothin' wrong with vanilla. You can add all sorts of goodies to sweeten the deal. ;)
b. adventurous Like outdoors, in public, in the back of a speeding car, or dangling from a bungee cord? Then no. I need seclusion and privacy in order to focus if it's gonna be good. I can't handle too many distractions.
c. kinky Yes. Absolutely yes. But not all the time. Most often there's a sense of power play and orgasm control (he voluntarily keeps that up) but not all the time. We are admittedly sometimes just plain old vanilla, I'm afraid to say, but never boring. ;)
d. trisexual – I will try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.  –Mae West There are a few things even I won't try, but I completely believe in trying twice just in case.

6. You want to seduce that sexy someone, what is the sweet-nothing that you’ll whisper in his/her ear? Seduction starts way before things heat up, so it's not so much what I whisper in his ear as what I do before my lips get anywhere near him. I know his triggers and things he appreciates so if I'm in full on seduction mode you can be sure my hair is long and loose, my feet are bare and toes are polished, bra is long forgotten and I'm wearing some of his favorite undies. Then I act casual and let him come to me. He knows the game. No words necessary.

Bonus: What’s your idea of a romantic getaway? I'm not very particular. Anywhere we can be secluded away from real life. Water must be included though either in form of lake, pool, hot tub, or large shower. We rented a cabin 2 years ago for the July 4th holiday just the two of us and had the best time sleeping in, cooking together, relaxing, hiking, and having lots and lots of noisy sex. And last year on Valentine's we "escaped" all of 10 minutes away to a hotel and shacked up for the night spending a good portion of the evening in the jacuzzi and another good portion doing.....other wet and slippery things. Good times.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Sharing is caring

I casually mentioned in my last post that my husband and I had a conversation around the concept of "sharing". By the request of a commenter, I've decided to explain the how and why this talk happened. Plainly speaking, I wanted to know how Od felt about monogamy. We hadn't clearly defined our rules. Ever. Like so many things with us, monogamy has been an unspoken understanding.

Something I've learned from years of reading blogs, listening to pod casts, and having discussions with other people is that "cheating" is a relative term. Like most people who set out to be married for a long time I just assumed that my marriage partner would be my only partner. So far, so good. Uh...sort of.

There was that one little time when I kinda almost cheated. But we're way past that now. Od knows about it because in a soul baring conversation I told him all about it. He understood and even went so far as to apologize for leaving me unhappy for so long. We healed. But now that we're healed, are our rules the same as they were before we started exploring our sexuality? I assumed our unspoken agreement was still in effect. There's a good reason for that saying they have about assumptions.

I think. I think a lot. My thoughts jump from topic to topic inside my head as I go about my business. One night back in January I had the idea of "sharing" on my mind. Can't recall why, but it was there. Most likely I was mulling over a setback in our relationship and wondering when things would settle, or if they would settle, and exactly what that meant. After trying so many new things for the last year it's apparent that some ideas aren't sticking and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with that fact. What I mean to say is that my husband is not as submissive as I'd like him to be but I still find myself desiring an outlet for my dominant needs. So here I am washing dishes while Od is at the kitchen table on his laptop. Inside my head I'm questioning the possibility of getting what I want, while knowing it most likely won't be from him. All sorts of what if scenarios run through my head. None of them match up with my wedding vows and this unspoken understanding we have about monogamy. Suddenly I have a need to know, in his own words, how highly he values the concept. So I ask.

"How do you feel about sharing?"

Confused look. "About sharing what?"

"Each other."

Confused look continues. "What do you mean? Explain it to me."

"With other people. In regards to monogamy."

"Oh. Well. Hmm." Long pause with his eyes searching the ceiling. "I can think of a handful of situations where that might happen."

It's my turn to look confused, because I expected to drop the question on him and give him the required week or two he needs to come back with a reply. "Really?!? You've thought about that? In what ways?"

And then he goes on to describe 4 different ways in which that might be possible. All of them incorporate a third party to the mix, and I can't help but be excited that he seems to understand my wishes. All 4 scenarios include another man. As surprised as I was that he had a ready made response, I couldn't help but acknowledge that my ideas were just a little different than his. Do I share them? Do I drop it for now, happy with the fact that he's not opposed? I go for it.

"Okay. I like those ideas. What about something different?"

"Different how, like swapping?"

"No, not really. Different as in...a situation where you might not be directly involved. Sort of.....*deep breath*...sortoflikeahallpass."

"Like a hall pass?"

"Yes. A hall pass."

He thinks. Thinks some more. I hold my breath as my eyebrows climb my forehead.

More thinking. More breath holding. I try not to do that nervous laughing/smiling thing I do.

Finally he answers. "I guess so. It really depends."

I know where his mind is leading him. "You mean the who, the where, being safe and smart, and all that?"

"Yes." He seems relieved that for a change that I'm not rolling my eyes at his need for safety rules.

"Okay, I get that. So you're not saying no?" I ask him incredulously.

"No. I'm not."

I smile at him and shake my head in wonder, knowing that I've used my limit of pushing boundaries this evening. Pleasantly surprised and content with our conversation I kiss him and tell him I love him.

It seems we have a new understanding.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day / TMI Tuesday

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or think it’s a consumer-oriented, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance, just have yourself some fun by answering these TMI Tuesday questions.
(For the record, I have both celebrated Valentine's Day as a reason to remind those I love of my warm and fuzzy feelings and also cursed the day with bitter words. Depends on the year, but mostly I enjoy the holiday. Of course it's consumer-oriented. Manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance? *cringes* Nooooo. You're doing it wrong or just plain shouldn't be doing it at all if that's how it plays out for you.)

1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot? Uncontrollable desire, you say? Easy answer : Od. His desire is far too controlled for my liking. Since a desperate man is a willing man, then I want him shaking, begging, and dripping with need. Then I could pull out a few toys that he shies away from.  ;)

2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:

1- “Your patience will be rewarded.”  What would you like that reward to be? For Od to dig the strap-on and harness out of the drawer and beg me to fuck him like I haven't in far too long.

2- “Try something new.”  What is the something new you want to try? Rimming.

3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.”  What would you like to give? A ruined orgasm. I'd rather give than receive those any day.  ;)

3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?
I loved you then
I love you still
I always have
I always will.

4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s day or is it just another day? We'll be doing something for Valentine's Day, I'm just not sure when. Tonight will be the PG version even though we get some time to ourselves early this evening. Probably just a casual night out for dinner. Od is still recuperating from his "love bug" (eww, that sounds like a quaint term for an STI) so nothing too vigorous or ambitious. Hopefully next weekend.

5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what? My tits. Milk chocolate, of course.

Bonus:
You can make your own valentine heart candy. What is your message? (Go to this link. Create your candy. Post the generated Valentine candy on your blog) I had a lot of fun creating bossy kinky messages. I think I'll spend the day texting them to my sweetie. My favorites :



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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Love Bug

The actual day that Valentine's falls on this year is little more than afterthought to those who would celebrate it. Sure, there will still be cards passed and boxes of chocolate left to be discovered, and many couples will be turning down the sheets earlier than usual. But the weekend is the best time to celebrate when the holiday falls mid-week. Bigger plans can be made. Relaxed dinners without the stress of a work day. Late night out. More drinks. Possibly even sneaking away for the entire weekend, should you find yourself that lucky.

I made it clear that I hoped for a repeat of last year. Simple really. Hotel room. Jacuzzi bath. Me. Him. Accessories. And lots and lots of loud, fun, deviant sex.

As far as our kids were concerned we were going to be spending the evening in the city dining at an upscale restaurant and staying the night because we didn't want to drink and drive. In reality we were going to be 10 minutes away shacking up and getting down and dirty. Just how I wanted it, too. *sigh.......* It was not to be.

Wisely, I did a quick verbal check-in last week to mention our Valentine's plans. I was leaving the planning to him and I was getting nervous because 1.) he's terrible at any combo of remembering/planning and 2.) I needed these plans to happen like you wouldn't believe, so forgetting was NOT an option. When he stuttered his response about thinking that Valentine's weekend was the following weekend, my high hopes lost their footing for a minute. I regrouped, corrected his misunderstanding, and did the thing I do where I begin calculating the odds of things working out how I'd imagined. Odds were still in my favor. Until Friday.

Our dog has nothing on me when it comes to being alerted by the sounds of someone approaching. I can tell who's in the driveway based on the engine, and I know exactly who is going to walk in the door based solely on the jingle and scrape of their keys as they attempt entry. Imagine my surprise, concern, dismay, and even more concern when I hear Od's keys shortly after lunchtime. He should not be home. Before I can find him I hear the bathroom door being slammed shut. "This is probably not good" I think to myself. And when I see him emerge wearing only half his clothes, a sheen of sweat, and a green complexion as he walks right past me to the kitchen for a glass of water before he heads right back to the bathroom and slams the door again I know for sure my weekend plans went right down the shitter. Along with Od's lunch. And breakfast. And whatever else he'd eaten in the last week, apparently. I mutter an all encompassing "fuuuuuu-uck", then resign myself to new plans. Good thing that room hadn't been booked after all.

I get him squared away in the bedroom, then begin my weekend long damage control. I text daughter to NOT let her boyfriend get dropped off at our house, then promise to make it up to her later. I run errands to the bank, the grocery, and the library after warning the kiddos to save themselves and avoid their dad and that particular bathroom. Upon asking for help with the groceries, daughter informs me she doesn't feel well. This could be due to a myriad of things : she drank too much chocolate milk, has cramps, is tired, would rather avoid having to actually be helpful, or......really doesn't feel well. After grumbling through the grocery unloading with the forced labor of my other teenager I soon found out. She really didn't feel well.

Patient #2 required a bit more hand holding and coddling than the first. While I discouraged her from showering and taking up valuable bathroom time (I was trying to keep things quarantined and one speck of vomit in the hair does not constitute needing a shower) I noticed her phone on the sink. It was on. Puking your guts out does not mandate a need to abandon a conversation, it seems. I took a moment to discuss the inappropriateness of phones in the bathroom - EVER - to her. The things that poor boy must have heard over the phone.

I quickly moved on from silently lamenting my lack of sexy weekend plans and went into self defense mode. I battened down in the t.v. room with my laptop, some DVDs, and snacks. I would have slept in there if sleep was possible on the lumpy beast that serves as our couch. I held off until 4 a.m. before I cautiously crawled into bed fully clothed and facing away from Od.

Lysol wipes, Oust, and Clorox were my best friends this past weekend. My only Valentine action so far was Sunday,  playing chaperone to my daughter and her boyfriend as I took them out to eat and to the movies to make up for their lost plans on Friday. Daughter snapped back to health like only kids can while Od is still suffering and hanging onto his intestinal misery like only he can.

Late last night I was weighing the odds again in my head of maybe attempting some semblance of a date on Tuesday night if Od feels any better by then. Any crazy, hot, hotel sex will have to wait for next weekend at the earliest. As I lay in bed and mentally prepped myself for the Monday task of sanitizing the entire house I heard the bathroom door slam down the hall. Patient #3. The kid whose own doctor wouldn't even know him because it's been so long since he's been sick is now sick. Violently. In the bathroom. All night.

It's now Monday and all signs are still good from me. I know I'm probably cursing myself for even typing that sentence. There's probably multiplication and mutation of unwelcome varieties going on inside me right now. Time will tell. I hope I make it out alive.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Silverstein and Seuss

These two. Geniuses they are. *sigh*





There's a slew of uneducated opinions I could string together about being brave enough to try and get what you want out of life and the beauty of finding acceptance. In a post on my anonymous blog. I'm smart enough to note and appreciate the irony. Just take these wise words for what they are : basic and true.  Happy Friday. Happy life. That is all.

*kiss*

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Stormy

After work, before dinner - which have been later and later, it seems - we have alone time. Meant for the purpose of catching up on our day and having a snuggle. Clothes are stripped off and we meet each other in the bed, assuming the familiar positions. As I looked at him lying there, all warm and fuzzy, his chest exposed I was struck with a desire. It was immediate and intense and I needed to kiss him, to climb onto the bed, kneel over top of him, grab his face and just take the kiss I wanted. He responded with a like need. Combustion ensued.
I moved to straddle his leg for better friction.
My hand grabbed his and held it above him on his pillow.
His other hand reached behind me and - oh! - grabbed my hair. That's new. Hmm. I liked that. A slight tug. Oh, I really liked that. My body responded with a flood of moisture.
The more I moved against his leg the more my hip moved against his eager cock.
I looked down between our bodies.
A brighter need flashed.
I leaned higher with my body to rub my breasts in his face. His mouth knew what to do. I received another subtle hair pull as a thank you. More wetness.
Releasing his hand I told him to stroke his cock for me. With my body pressed so closely to him I had to watch over my shoulder now.
I whispered over him how wet I was, how watching him turned me on. My hair was abandoned and his fingers travelled down my back, over the curves of my ass in between my legs to check for himself.
My hips began moving again, this time against his fingers. The evidence of just how aroused I was sounded quietly in the room with his stroking and my teasing words.

"How long has it been since you've had your own hand on your cock like that?"
"I like the way it looks. I should have you put on a show for me more often."
"Does that feel good? It looks like it does. Too bad you won't get to cum right now."

All questions answered with nods or groans. He's too greedy to let his mouth go from me.
I sense his breathing change, his core tightening, and his motions faltering. He's close.

"Don't stop. I like watching you. Do what you have to do, but don't cum."

With that order his body relaxes, his breathing calms, and his hand slows. Well, one of them does.
The other hand pushes more forcefully into me as if to punish me for teasing.
After a few minutes he's had enough.
His mouth releases me, he stops stroking, and pulls his hand away, and asks me to face the other way.
I'm still leaning over his torso, but looking at his very angry, very weepy cock.
My head lolls and my eyes roll when I feel his fingers inside me again with renewed vigor and the advantage of better positioning. My pussy and my g-spot take a pounding. My hips meet his hand thrust for thrust as I rest my cheek on his thigh and watch the precum drip from his body in a continuous stream. My fingers want to play in it, so they do.
Then I hear it. He says something about my pussy, but no - he calls it my cunt. What he said doesn't register, but the use of that word from him, the first that I can recall it - that definitely registers. I feel the effects as I clench tighter onto him. His hand is relentless. It's too much really, but also just right. I take out my intense responses on his thigh, my teeth begging to sink into flesh, but settling on restrained bites while my nails leave a series of smiles on his calves. My breathing stutters and I know if it weren't for the blood rushing in my ears causes temporary deafness I could hear the sobs choking from me. The sensations that roll through me wrack my body with spasms that leave me on the verge of joyous tears and utter exhaustion. When I cum, I cum hard. My satisfaction drips down his wrist and leaves a wet spot on the sheets. Not the first time, not the last.

And we're nowhere near done.

By the end of the night he has :

  • taken me bent over the edge of the bed while he restrained my arms to my sides and used my wrists as pulls
  • encouraged me to ride his face as he devours me and fucks me with a dildo
  • continued with the dildo as I play with a vibrator
  • slid into me while he's occupied with my tit in his mouth, taking from me in both places
  • tucked me into the still-damp-needs-changing-in-the-morning sheets with a goodnight kiss
All this could have easily been stretched throughout a week, but as I lay there in bed pondering the source of our combined sexual energy and the force behind it I can hear drops outside. They fall faster and harder and louder. I strain to be certain of what I think I hear. Then the rumbling begins and minutes later a flash of lightning. He's already breathing deeply and sleeping or else I'd share my discovery. I've always had a physical reaction the energy of a rainstorm. There's excitement, intensity, and a raw, primal feeling that often ends.....just exactly as it had this particular evening. Weather wise, I did not know it was coming but my body must have picked up on it. Most times the storm announces itself. This time we announced the storm.