It deals with one of the most bizarre sexual requests someone has made of me and whether I prefer ice or wax. And why my answer is most definitely not ice.
You see, a long, loooooong time ago when Od and I were first dating (almost 20 years ago, actually) we were pretty quick to jump into our sexual relationship. I held out about a month - slut that I was! I pretended to be convinced out of my panties, and he pretended that it wasn't his first time at succeeding. Really. I had no idea he was so inexperienced. He had me fooled. So much so that when he described things he'd read about or wanted to try I was hesitant. I was worried that perhaps my previous experience wasn't enough to keep up with my older, college graduate boyfriend. He was describing things that were decidedly kinky. I was shocked, but not knowing what else to do I hesitantly agreed. He called this thing the Ice Prince.
It involved using a water filled condom and freezing it suspended in a large container of alcohol. I'm not sure if he dreamed this up himself or read about it. My legs clamp together now when I remember it. The desired effect is a cockcicle, basically. That's used as a dildo. On my lady parts. My very warm, likes-to-stay-cozy-under-the-covers lady parts. Any guesses at my reaction? I'll fill you in on how it went down.
Attempt number one found me laying on my back on his narrow bed, with him to the side of me. He was so cute - very excited that I was willing, and concerned about my comfort. I relaxed and we started kissing, he was running his hands all over, warming me up both literally and figuratively until he made his move. At the first intruding nudge I gasped. He pulled away.
"Are you okay?" he wondered.
"Yeah, yeah, God it's cold! Just go ahead. Do it." It was like I was getting a shot at the doctor's with my get it over with mentality. Jesus, I should've just closed my eyes and thought of England.
He tried again, got it further in and the whole minute or so that he worked me with that thing I was thinking "nuh uh, nuh uh, getitoutgetitoutgetitout!!!" until those exact words rushed from my mouth.
Immediately I felt relief, but the damage was done. My pussy had brainfreeze from getting fucked with a cockcicle!!!! It was unsexy to say the least. He apologized for the unpleasantness, I apologized for ruining his excitement over his "great idea". He admitted it was better on paper than in practice. I admitted that was a huge fucking understatement.
There was no attempt number two.
Of course now temperature play is much easier with all of the beautiful options of glass and steel toys, but still. There's no way that anything cold is making it's way between my legs. You've got to heat it up if you expect to heat me up.