Extra Stuff

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

TMI Tuesday Big O, Little O, mine, or yours - I like 'em all

My first waking thought today wasn't *gasp* "It's 9/11" followed by swooping sentimentality of all that it means to live in the U.S. in the aftermath of what happened on this particular date years ago.

Instead, I woke to the thoughts of my hair appointment, my daughter's doctor's appointment, when I would squeeze the morning walk with the dog in, did a mental checklist of all my class prep work for tonight, and then I subtracted a few minutes from the "getting ready" column and added them to the "getting off" column.

On this date of September 11, 2012 I choose to celebrate the life affirming beauty that is all around me, with all of it's responsibilities, all of it's freedoms, all of it's simple joys, and I'm thankful for being able to do that. I'm living life how I choose to live it and I do what I can to be happy. That's how I respect the memory of people no longer with us, no matter the way in which they left us.

I prefer quiet observation rather than showy, public offers of respect.

So on this gorgeous day with a bright sunny sky and hardly any humidity to undo my new 'do, I took the scenic route on my walk, I gave an extra wide smile to fellow walkers, I played with my pup just a little longer and gave him a treat before breakfast just because I could, I revelled in the spare time I have today because I'm on top of my game and I'm ready for class, and also because I made an effort to start the day off relaxed and with a smile.

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The Big O


1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it. I can recall masturbating fairly young. Probably 7 or 8 years old. Not with any knowledge or expectation of results other than "when I do this thing it feels really good and I should probably keep this to myself". I don't remember if I had an orgasm that young. I do remember having them at age 11. I didn't know they were orgasms. I associated this fabled orgasm as a pleasurable part of sex with a partner. I wouldn't know that I had indeed been having orgasms until I was 17 and had my first partnered orgasm. I recognized the building sensation and was elated at figuring out that puzzle. It was an unforgettable moment of self discovery.

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc). Through deep penetration with body to body contact and clitoral stimulation. Currently that means that I was fucked with my Vixen Mustang dildo strapped into a knee harness with a bullet vibe pressed between us against my clit. Must. Do. That. More. Often. I was so drained that I couldn't move afterwards. God, I love his legs.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc). I'm pretty lucky and versatile as far as orgasms go. I've done a lot of personal exploration, and for all my frustrations in the anatomy/sexual pleasure department, I have a lot to be thankful for. However, I'd love to be able to experience multiple orgasms with a partner, the rolling, connected kind of orgasm after orgasm with out a vibrator.  I'm not wired that way, though, I don't think.  Also, if ever once in my life I experience an orgasm through double penetration involving two men and their cocks I would die an extremely happy woman.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?   I don't really have many sex dreams. I woke up once from a dream on the verge of orgasm, but the shock from having that particular dream chased it away. The sex dreams that I do have are vivid, usually bizarre, and I get more caught up in the storyline than the pleasure going on, or somehow my brain edits out the pleasurable parts. My sleeping brain is a cock blocking asshole. 

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? Usually by fantasizing about something from my taboo list. If I'm mentally aroused then it doesn't matter if I use my fingers (the least dependable of my methods) or my strongest vibrator.

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? I don't try. I just do. Or I don't. Usually it's at least one or two just to stay sane. Closer to 6-10 if I'm having a good week or I'm hormonal.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first? Yes, we've had simultaneous orgasms. It was fun and nice that we could experience that in the beginning of our relationship. We don't cum at the same time anymore. Well, rarely. This is for a lot of reasons. Our style of sex has changed drastically. Sometimes there's no penile penetration. What gets me off has changed drastically. Sometimes he's more of an assistant than a director. How long he can last during  has changed.  I'd like this to change but I work with what I've got. And sometimes, just sometimes, his orgasm isn't even on the menu. No matter the sex act that's going on, though, I've become a big fan of separate orgasms. I enjoy mine more thoroughly when it's just about me in that moment without any distractions. I don't feel like I'm missing out on my favorite show. And during his orgasm I prefer to be 100% present in the moment for him, so I can watch and listen.

In a mutual situation where both of us are aiming for an orgasm, though - I cum first.

8 – Can you have multiples? I can have more than one orgasm in an extended session using toys. Typically two is my limit unless I use my Panasonic "back massager", then I can go for more (last week I think I timed 6) but they are not as enjoyable as the two back-to-backs that I enjoy with other toys. Sometimes I'm just greedy and I like having more just 'cause I can, and I like the sweaty exhaustion from working so hard to get that many.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm? By myself, average is 5 minutes. Longer if my imagination is rusty or my iPhone takes a long time to buffer the video clip. With a partner it can be just as quick or take much longer if we're having an off day and not in sync.

10 – Have you ever faked one? Yep. I wish I could proudly state how dishonest and counterproductive it is to fake and that I've not done it, nor would I ever. The truth is, when I was younger and experimenting with sex acts I didn't have the courage to ask for what I wanted or to give directions if I needed a change. I was experiencing pleasurable feelings, regardless, and the only way I knew to express that was through faking it. It was immature and a clear sign that perhaps I wasn't ready for sex. But my offenses didn't end there. I've faked it plenty throughout my marriage. At times when I knew for certain that he was suffering a tender ego, and I didn't want to detract from his pleasure, I've faked it knowing that his unhappiness in not pleasing me might make him hold off longer on future encounters. Things have changed for us a lot in the past 2 1/2 years, where sexual pleasure and satisfaction does not always equal orgasm, and I'm honest and up front about everything now. In the long run I know this is better for us, even if there's still some frustrating days.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!