TMI Tuesday 7/31/12

The Comfort and Thrill of Sex

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t really enjoy it.
e. I don’t enjoy it at all.
f. I have never given anal sex.
g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! Bend over for me baby. Penis, fingers, sex toys? YES TO ALL! (okay it's a proxy penis in the form of a dildo, but still...) There's a certain trust involved that I love, plus the added intensity of his orgasms are very nice. One of my goals is to give him a hands free orgasm through prostate play. He'll need to be more comfortable with his own ass before that ever happens, I think. It's a work in progress. We don't play with his ass enough to have figured out the magic combination.

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.
(a) I love it! I enjoy anal very enthusiastically, when the mood is right. I know my body well and listen to clues as to how I want to get off. I get a craving for anal play (for myself) maybe once a month.  I'm not above telling Od to use his fingers, to grab my plug, or to fuck me in the ass. It's better though when he offers it because he knows I enjoy it. Coincidentally, he offered last night and it was fanfuckingtastic! I've learned two curious things about anal stimulation for me : 1.) my pussy gets wetter than ever when something is placed in my ass. It makes no sense to me, but it's instantly soaked. 2.) once I cum, all placement and movement of whatever is in my ass needs to stop immediately. It goes from 'ohmygodthisisthebestthingEVER!!!' to 'okaystopgetitoutnowpleasegetitout!!!'. There is no such thing as round 2 with anal.

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?
a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.
c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.
e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.
f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.
I can't even remember what that feels like. I've not had a new lover in almost 21 years. (and Jesus, just typing that seems weird) It's not a turn on, because I have a thing about being watched. That in itself is strange because I'm a HUGE voyeur, but being watched closely, or silently, or intently almost makes my skin crawl. If I'm being touched, or there's talking or some other distraction it's not too bad. I don't really understand why this is. I have no problem being naked, getting naked, and lord knows I've done a strip routine a time or two...this is probably a topic better left to a therapist. ;) And I can't honestly say that it does nothing for me, because it does to an extent, plus it means there's most likely going to be sexy times. Woohoo! But the feelings are tempered with that dreaded feeling of being inspected. And it's not that I don't like it because I'm shy. I'm not a shy person. Like...at all. And we're all aware that most sex bloggers don't have many issues with natural acts being immoral or improper so that's definitely out. I'm drawing a blank on this one. Oh hey, I know! Maybe I need a new lover to try this out with and I can get back to you with an answer. Yes?

4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.
(a.) I make a lot of sounds and am free with them. It turns Od on to hear me and I use my sounds to let him know when he's REALLY doing something right. Words tend to fail me in the actual act, so sounds are good. Loud sounds are better.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.
Probably (a.) Curiously though, we do most of our dirty talking outside the bedroom. Our daily conversations are filled with innuendos and codes, and when the kids aren't nearby it's downright filthy. I say things often to test his boundaries and to gauge him sexually. I also like to threaten to do things to him. It's fun because it makes him smile this sweet little boy smile that is part amusement, part disbelief. He's come to find out that I'm not always joking. Foolishly, he admitted to liking me this way. It's our own mild version of consensual non-consent, if you will.

6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale
Well, I don't squeak and I won't make your ears bleed, so I'm left with option (b.) That's not exactly right either. Maybe a growling wolf, if I've had a hard time chasing down an orgasm, but more likely a panting wolf. I do this breath holding thing when I get really close. Then when I actually cum, all bets are off as to the sound that comes out.

Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?
Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*
Both. I want it all. The perfect situation is to have all these options. Some days it's lazy, reconnective, let me show you I love you sex, and other times there's a driving passion to pull out the bag of tricks, do some research on a new technique and fuck each other silly. I never want to get to a place where there's nothing new left. I do believe that the comfort and familiarity needs to come first, but the relationship doesn't need to stop there. I've said it before, but sex is like recess for adults. It's where we play and simply enjoy ourselves. Tag and hopscotch are great, but will get stale if that's all there is. I like swings, I like slides, I want the whole fucking playground. And maybe, just maybe, I want to share my toys and go play at a friend's house, too. ;)

*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday Let's Go To Bed (yes, let's!!!)

Let’s Go To Bed

(Yes that is an invitation as well as a song by one of my fave groups The Cure. –Hedone)

The perfect bedroom. Sleep in cool sheets, have hot sweaty sex, take a dip to cool off. Rinse. Repeat.

Allow me to preface my answers with a few words. It should be alarming to me that I got excited and squealy over this week's TMI topic. Much more than last week's - and that was about kink. Y'all know how I feel about kink. The summer lazies have a tight grip on me and I've spent hours and hours in my bed relaxing, reading, hiding from my kids, trying out new toys, napping, watching movies, etc...I'm not even kidding when I tell you that the words "hey look.....I'm vertical!" have been announced to no one in particular as an actual  accomplishment.

I sincerely love my bed. Carrying on........

Most importantly it is the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Tell us about your bed.

1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)? My bed is a queen. If I had the room for it, it'd be a king, but our bedroom is close quarters as it is with the queen.

2. What mattress construction (conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic-type)? I'm the lucky owner of a Tempurpedic-Cloud Luxe. It's fucking spectacular. It's like a full body hug every time I lay down. I actually moan at times from the sheer pleasure of becoming horizontal.

3. What type furniture (just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc)? Describe. Well - we removed the headboard and footboard (which had canopy posts that we never utilized) a long time ago "to make the room more spacious". That's what we said. What it really meant was : they squeak too loudly during sex and Freya strains the headboard too much by pushing on it! That was our old bed. On our new-ish bed we  have just the mattress and a weird platform base that needed somewhere to go other than the floor. We (and by we I mean Od) took the opportunity to...uh, customize the new frame. It's shaped like a tic tac toe board with open edges that make nice storage compartments, it's super sturdy (no squeaking), and it conveniently has multiple points where hardware has been affixed for restraints. Due to the nature of the memory foam mattress and the sturdiness of the frame Od could fuck me, or I could fuck him, into oblivion and anyone in the house will be none the wiser. Theoretically. There's still human noises to account for. ;)

*let me make note that even though the bed skirt hides the hardware, I've had to hold my breath and shoo them out quickly when I find one of the kids looking under there for the cat. We now have a locking set on our door, and I lock it all. the. time.

4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose? I was tied to the old bed using ropes and at the time I hated it. That was when it was still my bed in my childhood bedroom. I took it with me when I moved out. I have been restrained to the new bed using adjustable straps, cuffs, and clips - but not as much as I've restrained someone to them. For the purpose of dirty, dirty, kinky sex, of course.

5. What kind of sheets (cotton, linen, silk, flannel)? Cotton sateen sheets. I purposely time shaving my legs with new sheet day and those two things combined with the heady scent of fabric softener and a lavender-vanilla pillow mist that I use.....it's absolute heaven.

6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)? No blankets. I have a furry man to cuddle up to. *grins* Although I have a plush brown blanket ("dinky", in our house thank you very much) that I use on my side of the bed between the sheet and comforter on the rare winter night.

7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)? Topping off my personal hideaway is a comforter. I want to get a down comforter after I learn to sew better so I can make multiple duvet covers. I'm a bit funny about bed coverings. I'm on my 9th set. They either wear out from multiple washings, obtain damage from kitty claws, I get bored with them, they don't match new decor, or like the one that I really, really loved...Od fucking hated it with a passion - it was too hot. It's a dream of mine to find a perfectly weighted comforter that doesn't cause him to break out in night sweats that will still be cozy and snug for me. One of these days.....

8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)? My pillow is dense and squishy, and it smells like coconuts. It's a memory foam pillow, of sorts. It was free with the bed. And it's awesome. Not good for pillow fights, though - someone could break a neck. Not that I remember the last time I had a pillow fight. I should remedy that soon. :)

Bonus: Fill in the blank and answer question.

If _____ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no. Not sure how to approach my answer, but let me say this : there's a small number of men who would have a memorable time in my bed should the opportunity arise. And plenty more that have made guest appearances, if only in spirit.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Blankety Blank

Blankety Blank


Complete the sentences by filling in the blanks.
1. I could spend all day reading  but couldn’t stand five minutes  doing taxes .
2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do the floors  because no one else ever does. (actually I prefer a houseboy to a robot, but I'll accept either.)
3. The older you get the more appreciative  you get.
4. I want to  share Europe with my husband  when I finally convince him to get on a plane  .
5. My appetite for passion can never be satisfied.
Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard art supplies . (I sort of already do that)
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!