This weeks TMI is based on the 7 Contrary Virtues, each one stands in direct opposition to one of the 7 deadly sins, which were addressed in last week’s TMI Tuesday.
1. CHASTITY - Not just moral wholesomeness but treating sexuality with due reverence and respect. It’s too late for you horny people to be virgins, and I know you can’t practice chastity. So…if you had to cut back on one sex act, for 90 days, what would that be? BTW…How old were you when you lost your virginity?
First of all, ahem, who says I can't practice chastity? As a matter of fact I do. ;) But, knowing myself the way that I do, I know that nothing makes me want something more than being denied of it. I'm a brat in that way. Can't help it. And I love variety in all things, so I wouldn't want to cut out any options. I want it all. I'm a brat that way, too. However - in the spirit of playing along I would give up the 69 position. Not the individual acts involved - just the synchronized act. It's not something we do a lot, anyway.
I lost my virginity when I was 15. And a half. :)
2. TEMPERANCE - Learn how to control sexual desires rather than fulfilling them. I know many of you are wanking double time in honor of May Masturbation Month, what’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating? Was it self-induced or did someone command you not to masturbate? Did you find it frustrating or liberating?
Since I've started masturbating (around age 11 I think) the longest I've gone was probably 3 months or so. It was early in my second pregnancy. I was being overly cautious and avoiding all sexual activity due to a previous scare. It was neither frustrating or liberating - just necessary for my well-being.
3. CHARITY - A willingness to give, freely and without request for commendation. Have you ever had sex relations with someone just because you felt badly to turn them down or you felt sorry for them?
I've certainly done some things based on "eh, why the hell not?" I even had a brief relationship based on that attitude. But never because of pity.
4. DILIGENCE - A zealous attitude and careful nature toward living and sharing. Are you a diligent lover? Do you offer more than 10 minutes in the missionary (i.e., lazy lover)? What do you do that makes you a diligent lover?
I would LOVE to offer more than 10 minutes. I would love to receive it too, but can we be honest here? After sufficient foreplay with everyone involved already aroused - 10 minutes seems like a long time to me. Then again I suppose that depends on your style. I just happen to like it hard, rough, and fast. And BTW, there's nothing wrong with missionary.
I would do anything it required to please my partner, but I'm rarely tested. He's very easy to please.
5. PATIENCE - Seeking appropriate resolution to conflicts, and on the ability to forgive and show mercy. Your lover never seems to be in the mood for any kind of sexual activity. How patient are you? Do you:
a. Gingerly and sweetly try to talk to them about it and coax them into being in the mood.
b. Force yourself on them by making them feeling guilty about “denying” you so you get pity sex.
c. Do you go off and masturbate to satisfy your urges?
d. Hang your head low and hope tomorrow will be the day he/she is in the mood for nookie.
I can count on 2 fingers the number of times I've been turned down. Once was a very long time ago and I was in the mood, and began initiating. Clothes hadn't even come off yet, but we were making out pretty heavily. It was just getting good. Then he made some excuse, aplogized and wandered off. I was left stunned, alone on the bed wondering what had just happened. Gotta say - it stung. The other time was more recently (in the past year) and his stomach was bothering him. Perfectly understandable. No big deal. I can't say that I've dealt with him "never seeming to be in the mood". If I'm up for it, he's up for it. I would never do B. I don't want to be a part of anything pity related. I already do C as it is. D is not my style at all. I suppose A is my best bet. I can be pretty convincing! ;)
6. KINDNESS - Manifests as the unprejudiced, compassionate and charitable concern for others.
You are an enlightened sexual being full of sex positivity, confidence, and you love sex! Your motto is to “practice random acts of sexual kindness.” I’m curious what would your most prolific act of sexual kindness be? Why?
I can't say that I would give away just one thing. I'd like to tailor my offerings to the receiver. I know there's a lot of deserving men who are lacking what they desire most. I'd love to be able to fulfill their needs if I was in a position to do so. So you tell me. What's it gonna be?
7. HUMILITY - modest behavior, selflessness and the giving of respect. When are you prone to modesty? In what ways do you look out for the interest of others doing things not from selfishness?
I'm prone to physical modesty. Not prudish - just modest. Of all the lessons in childhood that I learned, a sense of social propriety was the one that stuck the most. I have a hard time letting that one go. I'd say that offering advice is a way that I look out for others. If I have relevant or helpful information then I like to share, because it's always welcome when I need it, too. I love the "pay it forward" concept.
Bonus: Your lover has made you mad but he/she is clueless and is making sexual advances. You:
a. Stay miffed or irritated at your lover and refuse to have sex
b. Rebuke your lover’s advances and tell him/her “not now because I am upset with you”
c. Set the anger aside and have great make up sex
d. Have selfish sex and do only what you want and take what you need with no regard for reciprocal satisfaction
A or B. If I'm mad, the impossibility of sex is made well known. C is out. I can't recall ever having make up sex. There's "okay we're not mad anymore, back to the previous program" sex. Now that I say that it sounds kind of.......pitiful. LOL And D would never happen. Anger is a passion that overrides lust. Not to mention that D nullifies the GGG relationship that we've built.
And in other news.......we finally discovered why our new furry family member was so stinky. It was her mouth. She was teething and that causes some type of temporary gum infection. It's now gone, thank goodness. She's a lively addition to the house. She's learning her no-nos and plays fetch better than our dog. She brings her catnip mouse over and drops it in my lap and the game begins. She'll play for an hour. It's so entertaining to have a cat around again.
And, after enjoying ourselves immensely in DC we were more than proud to see our son on stage as a finalist in his BPA category. He didn't place in ther top three, but 5th place out of 48 on a national level is something to be very proud of. He did very well. I'm so happy we were there to help him celebrate his accomplishment. What was really fun to witness was how well he took charge of the group when we toured DC Friday night. His comfort level with finding his way around a new place with new situations was rewarding. Just another sign that he's getting closer to letting go.