HNT Do over and a funny

We have a moderate sense of propriety in our home. And that's about it. Sometimes I'd rather not get fully dressed to go to the laundry room to iron the clothes I need to wear for the day, so I give out a warning  before I dash down the hallway in my bra and undies. At some point in their lives our kids have figured out that Od goes commando. It probably involved laundry observations and basic equations, followed by a simple question and an honest answer.

I believe in being honest with my kids. Age appropriately honest. There are no areas of conversations that I avoid to save them or myself embarrassment. Believe me, they know this. When teenagers push boundaries like bedtime, and are staying up later and later (encroaching Mom and Dad's alone time) you just have to lay the truth out there with a touch of shock value. This does 2 things. It combats the inevitable argument about why they think they should get to stay up as late as they want, and it subtly reinforces the idea that responsible parenthood does not, in fact, equal the death of a sex life. Closed doors mean you better knock first and request entrance and "now is not a good time" means go away or suffer the consequences.

What I'm getting at is that we do our best to keep our private life private. *heavy sigh* Most of the time. Yesterday I slipped and it ended in one of those stories that my kids will probably be telling for a long time.

I was helping my son take photos for a class project. (at the last minute, naturally) The memory card wasn't cleared of all photos, but I triple checked that thing for naughty photos and deleted them all. (so I thought)
We took the required photos, I handed him the card to do his thing on the computer and about 5 minutes later I hear my two kids collaborating in the bedroom hallway (never a good sign) and my son asks " Hey Mom? Why is there a picture of your nipple on this card?"

Of course, being ridiculous like I am, I bust out laughing. It can't be helped. Things can't be unseen at this point and I hear my daughter yelling "Mother!!!" in a mocked outrageous tone of voice. In less time than I can calm myself, Od has raced upstairs to son's room and when I meet him there (as daughter gives me disapproving looks and continues her attempt at shaming me) he has son pushed to the side and is clicking, clicking, clicking. I'm searching the thumbnails for the incriminating evidence, and...........ah. There it is.

 Oh, yeah. I remember that. As soon as I see proof of my indiscretions I cover son's eyes. Really? What good am I doing? None. As we're all standing at the computer desk in son's room with daughter blocking the only escape (and she's still harping at me with things like "Why would you take a picture like that? That's inappropriate!" ) I look around. And they're all looking at me. 'Cause, you know...it's my nipple on the monitor - makes sense. My husband is smiling as if to say "serves you right, should've cleared the card better". Son is vibrating in his desk chair from silent laughter, but seeming nonchalant about the whole thing. Daughter is keeping up with her beratement, going on with "Who even does things like that?" (but believe me, she thinks this is funny because she now has the goods on me - the person who usually nails her little ass to the wall when she messes up)

I do what anybody else would do. I deflect. "Well, your dad took the picture, so ask him!" Yep. I did it. I totally tossed him under the bus. He looked at me with astonishment, because I just told a lie to my children to save a little bit of dignity. He and I both know he had nothing to do with that picture. I silently dare him to contradict me. Wisely - he doesn't. He does what any good man would do. He takes the hit and saves his damsel in distress. Now daughter lays into him with comments about being a pervert and setting bad examples for innocent children. (she'll be such a good mother some day.....)

He takes the card back to clear it and I walk away spouting life lessons over my shoulder like "See? That's why naughty pictures are NEVER a good idea! Don't do it or you'll regret it!" which I followed up with a quick NDA laced with subtle threats and motherly guilt. Let's hope it sticks.

When I finally untangled myself from that ugly monster of a situation I  walked into the kitchen to be met by my husband who casually mentioned "Wow. I didn't even see that bus coming." I think he was secretly relieved that I managed to delete the photos of him that were on that card. Because explaining why Dad took a sneaky photo of Mom's boob is easier to process than trying to understand why Dad is strapped to the bed on all fours, naked with a cock ring on and a hand print on hiss ass. Doncha think?  ;)

Sunday Stealing 3/27/11

It's pretty cut and dry today, people. There are questions. I answered them. I'm off to catch up on blog reading....


26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? Od brought me cocoa in bed and made me breakfast. I think that counts. ;) 

27. Do you have a lot to learn? Yes. A lot I need to learn, and a lot that I want to learn.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? reading and playing music, speak Spanish, become fully computer savvy

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? definitely how others make you feel

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? honesty, generosity, and fun

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? travel to every location on my wishlist, complete my home improvement to-do list, and find inner peace.

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? awful question, because death is THE thing I try to avoid. The one thing that comes to mind is avoiding being the cause of someone elses death. Not sure I could live with that.

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? animal rights

34. What does each decade make you think of: 70s : brown, orange, and yellow and bad hair 80's : MTV 90's: baggy jeans cinched tight w/a belt and clunky shoes 2000s: Y2K scare 2010s: how much I dislike it when people say "twenty ten".

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? the 80's. that's when I did most of my growing up.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? music in general is a big love for me so I can't pick favorites, but but I wouldn't change the station if it played anything by Bob Seger, Bad Company, The Steve Miller Band, or Van Morrison.

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? USA, Obama

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? I wouldn't be inclined to say anything at all.

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? TBS

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? the witch that turns the prince into a beast from Beauty and the Beast, because you get one chance to prove to me that you're a good person and if you fail it can take a long time to redeem yourself.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? no

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? fly

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? I know the blue color has something to do with wavelengths and Earth's atmosphere.....and the night blackness is merely shade. I think? My 9th grade science teacher would be so disappointed in me.

43. What does your name mean? princess

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? ocean

45. Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air: cloud
Meat: ball
Different: strokes
Pink: petals
Deserve: right
White: egg
Elvis: Presley
Magic: mirror
Heart: strings
Clash: of the Titans
Pulp: Fiction

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Queen Elizabeth (the first)

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Sam Elliot (I just wanna hear him talk)

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? no. variety is vital to me.

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? if there's 3G service I bring my iPhone. If not, I bring my Sony Reader and an iPod.

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? no.

I'll be thinking of you when...

...I'm visiting the land that doesn't believe in 3G service. Seriously. The place I stay doesn't even have internet. I get about 1 bar on my phone if I'm lucky when we go into town for dinner each night, but that's all. *sob*




I will miss reading your blog.
I will miss writing.
I will miss getting your comments.
I will miss porn.
*sigh*

I even tried to get an early morning Tumblr fix, but Tumblr is being a dick right now.

I'm not admitting anything......but when I packed, my LELO may or may not have accidentally fallen into my bag. (along with the charger)  :D

See y'all next week.

TMI Tuesday - 10 Commandments

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My husband has no shame

There's all sorts of fetishes and kinks and alternative sexual practices.
I'm currently at a loss to describe what my husband's deal is.
Here are the facts :

• he loves my tits
• especially my nipples
• he likes them adorned in any way possible
• he'd prefer me braless at all times
• he likes people to see them

He used to encourage me to go braless in public in a fun, teasing way. Well, now that we've delved deeper into our fantasies and kinky wishlists I now realize he's very serious about it. I've even indulged him a few times when he's had special requests.

So what would you call that? Secondhand exhibitionism? A very very mild case of hotwife-ing? I don't know. I don't need it to be defined - just curious if anybody else has an idea.

I thought I was being rhetorical when I captioned this photo. Just for fun I left my newest artwork in his top dresser drawer as a surprise. He loved it, and I asked him (teasingly) if he would hang it up in his office. I won't say that I shouldn't have asked him, but I really should have known better. The man has no shame. His reply was "Yes, I'll hang it up in the office." Usually when he says he'll do something.......uh, it doesn't happen. Imagine my surprise on Friday when I received texted photo proof that my artwork is indeed hanging on his office wall right above our daughter's preschool-era contribution that he's moved from office to office over the period of the last 11 years. He said in the text : "Both of my girls like painting with green. :)"
It was actually very sweet and made my heart all gooey. I have to admit that our combined pieces did make a nice little complimentary collection! (can't show you the pic, her name is written right on it and very big like all preschoolers tend to do)

He got a nice kick out of displaying S & T and loved the reactions from his co-workers that noticed. He eventually took it down due to outsiders having a walk-through that day. Reactions?

• looks went from squinting to see what it was to grins and smiles when they figured it out
• "she's a keeper!"
• "I never get anything like that."
• someone had the nerve to ask about the story behind the artist's signature ,which he told
• another requested to take a picture, which he declined

I don't go into the office often, but now I'll be on the lookout for curious or amused glances!

I think I should expand this series and perhaps the next subject matter will be balls. Using blue paint, of course! ;)

Another day, another meme...

1. Who are you? Freya, Goddess of Love and War (but really just a sassy, kinky woman who always speaks her mind and strives for love, acceptance, and happiness)

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? I don't play social games. Don't fuck with people I care about. Making the effort to know the real me is worthwhile because I'm much softer and sweeter than most people might think.

3. When you aren't memes like this one what are you doing? currently in the process of gettng my house in order so I can run away from home for a few days this week with friends.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). french, english, art, speech and drama, typing, geometry, phys ed, home ec, biology, chemistry, health, history, algebra 1, algebra 2, pre calculus, government. (the only ones I truly disliked were pre calc and government)

5. What is your biggest goal for this year? to complete some remodelling on our house

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? I'd love to be in a new house with both kids attending or completing college.

7. What stage of life are you in right now? Too young to be middle-aged, a little too old to be "young" ; parent of teenagers

8. Are you more child-like or childish? This one stumped me. I can't decide. Probably childish. My temper can get the better of me sometimes, but also childish because I like to play. People should never give up playing and having fun. I've never seen the official "grown up" rules that state we should be boring and no fun.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud? had a "discussion" with kiddos about unauthorized purchases on itunes

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? Too many aspect to my life, too many songs. tough question.

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? no, but I've watched a lot of them. kiddo is a 2nd degree black belt in karate.

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? rollercoaster. it got really bad, then got better and keeps on getting better. I hope I'm better prepared for the next dip.

13. Does time really heal all wounds? not all of them, but it certainly helps the scars fade a bit.

14. How do you handle a rainy day? If it's raining when I wake up then I smile, snuggle down into the covers and just listen. I could spend all day curled up in bed on a rainy day.....as long as I had good company. If it's a thunderstorm at bedtime then I sleep like the dead. I love storms - with the windows cracked.

15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? holiday lights - no argument. I don't do untangling. that requires patience. I get frustrated if it takes me longer than 10 seconds to untangle my earbuds. I could care less if my luggage is lost. things aren't that important and can be replaced. no need to stress.

16. How is (or was) your relationship with your parents? I lucked out in the parents department. My childhood was fun and happy. They made the best of everything. They set good examples, even when being human and making mistakes or having hard times. I love them. Period.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? Always. I sometimes wish there was an unaware button I could push. I tend to notice everything.

18. What is the truest thing that you know? Do the right thing and you'll never regret it.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up? *looks sheepishly away* an exotic dancer. I liked the costumes and thought they were sexy. (I was most likely influenced by burlesque rather than strippers, but you know.......a pole is a pole)

20. Have you ever been given a second chance? sure. probably 3rd, 4th, 5th.........I was a teenager and my mom let me live. there's enough proof right there!

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? I give as good as I get.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? I typically go with my instincts, then use my heart/mind as a second opinion. they usually concur.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? I was badly burned as a child but don't remember it, childbirth was intense (no pain meds) but over quickly.......I think the pain after having my tonsils removed was the worst because it lasted for days. I refused the codeine because I hated feeling drugged. Oh- nevermind. I just remembered when my back went out 6 years ago. I was on the floor for days, in miserable and helpless pain. Thank god for pills then. I didn't mind being drugged that time.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? because it went on for so long and got worse every day I think the decline of my marriage has had the most impact.

25. Who have you hugged today? Od and one kiddo

Strange Men

Apparently I have no qualms about strange men touching me in my bedroom.

I went to bed very late last night. Around 4 a.m. I try hard to maintain "normal" hours, but I slide into my old habits on the weekends. The internet is my usual distraction if I'm not creating. So.........I've discovered tumblrs awhile back. 1 or 2 or 3 maybe. But recently I've found some that just hit all my triggers. And I'm fucking hooked. So last night I went to bed horny as hell, but because I'm nice I didn't wake up my husband. He only had 1 and a half more hours to sleep before his alarm went off.

I don't remember dreaming, and I vaguely remember our morning session (it's nice to have a dedicated partner) but I do remember him checking on me mid-morning. He entered the bedroom, slid his hand under the warm covers and began to rub my ass. According to him (recounting the event later to me) I responded with hums of appreciation and a big grin on my face while not bothering to open my eyes and when he said to me "you didn't even open your eyes to make sure it wasn't a strange man fondling you"  I smiled again and gave a  "eh" sound with a sleepy shrug and pushed my ass into his hands to urge him to continue rubbing the tush.

"You don't really care, do you?" he chuckled.

"Un uh" was my too-warm-and-happy-to-care reply.

His comment activated a stream of my favorite images from the night before to roll through my head, and for a few brief seconds each one had their turn being the man with his hands under the covers. I fell back to sleep easily and hours later questioned Od about his "strange man comment".

As he told me, a very knowing and pleased smirk crossed his lips.
He knows I'm a dirty girl underneath it all.

And he loves it.