Can we talk about Jesus?

Of the Touchdown or Big Butter variety? Some of you in the states know just what I mean. To the others: you might want to stick around anyway for some ironic humor.

Big Butter Touchdown Jesus before and after the lightning strike

I was listening to the Savage Love podcast this morning when Dan brought up the rebuilding of the infamous statue that burned down 14 months ago. You can Google it. I even think there's a video on YouTube. Personally I Bing'd it and it was the first selection after I typed in "touchdown" - so as crazy as this thing is, I guess it's a big deal. People make pilgrimages to have their picture taken near the statue. And not just Ohio State University fans either. Religious fanatics seem to love it too, and thousands upon thousands were saddened by it's divine demise. The tacky and (I'm sure in some way) sacrilegious styrofoam statue was struck by lightning and swiftly burned down to the.....well, I guess...... the water. He was rising from a pond, you see. That always bothered me. Why was the scale so large if they were only going to show half? Did the budget get blown? Was the funding for his lower half misplaced? Is there some religious reference about him rising out of the water that I'm missing? I though that was Neptune from mythology, not Jesus from the Bible. I'm confused, because I'll admit - I'm not overly familiar with stories and scriptures. I'd really like to know.

I happen to remember that stormy night very well. It was late, the winds were picking up and the windows were open. Nature was providing Od and I with excellent sound cover in the form of thunder as we prepared to rendezvous in the living room. I had the music set, blankets on the floor, and was hanging my head out the window to breathe in the scent and energy of the storm. Just as Od came up behind me, pressing his warm body to mine, there was a massive lightning strike that occurred in the distance. I jumped a little with surprise and got goosebumps from the excitement and the open window. My husband took notice of my chill and then we forgot all about the storm raging outside as we created our own tempest - friction warming me right back up eventually to the point of sweaty exhaustion. If I remember correctly, a dildo and some rope were involved.  ;)  We didn't think a thing of the lightning until the charred remains of Jesus made headlines the next morning. Apparently he ended the night with a bang, too.

Anyway, Dan Savage was prattling on about the ridiculous thing and the twitter surrounding the subject of it's rebuilding. And then he dropped an interesting fact that had never occurred to me. God hates bad art made in his son's image worse than he hates porn. It's a fact. You know why? Because right across I-75 sits a very large and popular adult store that survived the attack. My adult store. Where porn is sold. Where kinky, deviant, sexual paraphernalia is sold. And you might think that if anyone would be struck down by God's hand it would be the source of evil for us fornicating sinners. But it's not. It's the crazy bible thumpers who build ugly statues and put neon doves on the ceiling of the sanctuary. (It's a fact. I'm not making this shit up - I've attended a wedding there.)

The irony in this situation comes a bit late to me, but the thrill and relief from this realization is huge. It hits close to home - much like the fateful lightning. God can be found everywhere. But a good sex toy store? Those are hard to come by, people. I'm lucky to have one so close to me. And to that I say *lifts hands in the proper touchdown pose* Praise Jesus.

Some interesting facts about the statue, just for fun :

The statue was 62 feet tall and weighed 8 tons.
Construction began in June 2004.
Designed by Brad Coriell Nashville artist and Dayton native.
Built by sculptor James Lynch of Florida.
Funded by Lawrence and Darlene Bishop, Solid Rock Church pastors.
The project cost $250,000.
The steel frame was built in Lebanon. The body, of Styrofoam and fiberglass, was fabricated at Lynch’s studio in Florida.
The 13-foot long parts were transported by trucks to Monroe. Lynch’s studio is 13 feet tall.
Immortalized by comedian Heywood Banks in his novelty song, “Big Butter Jesus.”

It was worth it

Conversation that occurred in my bedroom last week :

"So, do you like it?"

"Mmmmmm mmm"

"Is that a yes?"

Big sigh followed by "Mmm hmmmmmmmmm" and a lazy,slow spreading, uncontrollable, ear to ear grin that looked like this :

I lay there, quite unable to move, and quite uncaring about my inability - much like the sly, contented, there-but-not-really-there Cheshire Cat. I was nothing more than a puddle of bliss with a grin assaulting one set of cheeks while a massive wet spot assaulted the other set. When the words stopped swirling in my brain and formed a sentence I finally managed  "I don't know, or even care how much you spent on that thing.........but it was worth it!"

And because I desperately needed to rehydrate and also because the wet spot was cooling, I got up. To give my husband a breathy kiss and thank him one more time for my birthday present. And to strip the bed and change the sheets. For the third day in a row.

So yeah. I had a happy birthday and I really really like the njoy pure wand. Od is very pleased with himself on many levels. Not only did he surprise me with something I wanted but hadn't asked for, but now he has proof of my abilities.

And Donna, you were so right about those waterproof mattress pads! ;)

Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday greetings and happy wishes. Know that I smiled for days. And that I still do when I read them or listen to them. I love that you all played along in my celebrational stunt of narcissism. You're safe until next year! LOL  :D

Big hugs and kisses all around!

Happy Happy Happy!!!

My two weeks is up and today is the big day. Officially I'm still 36 until 9:34 p.m. I've had my birthday serenade from my parents and I've opened one of my gifts from Od already. It had to be done behind closed doors. Wanna know what my sweetie gave me? He has such good taste.

I got this beauty :

It's an njoy pure wand. Isn't it pretty? And oh, my goodness it's heavy. And shiny. And feels very nice in my hands. I'm looking forward to playing with it very much. It's good for G spots and P spots, so I just might be sharing it. ;)

I've been told there's more to open this evening and then it's out to dinner for something yummy and perhaps an adult beverage. Or two. Or three.

In continuation of treating myself this week I have :

• gone to see a movie and had lunch with my mom. We saw The Help. It was a seriously good movie. I mean really good. Do yourself a favor and go see it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be outraged and you'll cheer. And you'll never look at chocolate pie the same again! ;)
• purchased a few new books to read. And only one of them is full of sexual filth. Oh wait - it's not filth - it's erotica. *snort*
• had another nap. The last one was so good I needed a repeat.  Only there's no nudie pics this week. :)
• scheduled myself a proper hot oil manicure and spa pedicure (received today as a matter of fact) and a cut and color and a hot stone therapy massage. I'm really excited about the massage - always wanted to try the hot stones. But between you and me I'm most excited about Mitchell. He'll be my masseuse tomorrow. There's something about the idea of a new man's hands all over me........(because I'm naughty like that)
• enjoyed an afternoon of shopping. There wasn't anything I really needed, but somehow I walked away with a new piece of pretty cookware.
• replaced my fading bouquet of mixed flowers with a fresh bunch of mixed roses. I might have to make this a weekly thing. Flowers on the table make me unbelievably happy each time I walk by.

So that's it for my birthday countdown. I'm glad I've taken the time to do some things for myself. It was a nice way to wind down the summer. I remember as a kid I was conflicted this time of year because while I was super excited for my birthday there was the dread of back-to-school.  Now as a mom I see it as a win-win!!! My kids go back to school next week and if you listen closely you'll probably hear me let out a huge sigh of relief from wherever you are.

And finally, for those of you who have already been brave and kind enough to share yourselves with me - thank you very much!!!!!! You're responsible for the big grin I've been wearing for a couple days. I've learned not to check my email while in public. Spontaneous laughter makes me look like a crazy person! LOL

And for the rest of you.........what are you waiting for? It's my birthday don't ya know?!!?



Well hey there!

This is just a quick post to welcome the new faces around here. I've noticed a spike in my followers and just wanted to say hello and thanks for joining me. Perfect timing too. A bunch of little happy birthday gifts! (that getting old yet?) Like it says in my profile - my passions are abundant. You just never know what you might read around here. I'm a very versatile, kinky girl who dips her toes into many waters and believes that there's no such thing as too much laughter or too many kisses. If I could you'd all get a great big smackeroo on the lips, but for now this will have to do :



*kiss kiss*

-Freya

TMI Tuesday 8/16/11

Flashback then Fast Forward

1. What ’80s or ’90s fashion did you love but would be embarrassed to wear today, even if it came back in style? Hmmmmm.....oh! I know. Blue eyeshadow (saw a lady in the store today wearing it and I just wanted to say to her " Honey, no - just....no"), those braided headbands that were worn on the forehead, umm.........and florescent clothes. And gold glue-on fingernails. (just the one, not a full set) And side clips for hair. And high waisted jeans. OMG - never ever again will I ever wear teased, sprayed, jacked-up-to-Jesus mall hair. My high school days floated by in a cloud of Aquanet and Bold Hold hairspray. You gotta remember that I was a cheerleader and also that I have curly hair. The tendencies for big hair were already there. Funny story : my kids go to the same schools that I attended and in the high school there's a hallway outside the auditorium that displays the senior photos of alumni going back to '78 or '79. We were attending a play there a couple years ago and during intermission walked down that hall to show my daughter and niece what I, my sister, and my husband looked like back in high school. My niece said "Awww, you were so pretty! Look how big your hair was! Other than your hair, you look exactly the same." I'm not so sure about that, but it was nice to hear.  :)
2. What current fashion do you wear and love? Or What current fashion do you wear but probably shouldn’t? I've bought quite a few twirly dresses and skirts lately. There seems to be a feminine flair happening in clothes, which I'm loving. Comfy without being clingy, and can be dressed up or down. I really shouldn't wear yoga pants as much as I do, but I can't help it. They're like a hug for my whole lower body. I feel happier the instant they're on.
3. What was your favorite toy as a kid? Dolls. Hands down. I had baby dolls, Barbie dolls, and Strawberry Shortcake dolls. And these little mermaid-type dolls called Sea Wees. LOVED. THEM. I also lived on my bike in nicer weather when I wasn't playing office. I spent any money I had (which wasn't a lot) on office supplies. I still have a deep love for them.
4. What is your favorite “toy” today? My laptop and my iPhone - because I play much more than I work on them. And my LELO Soraya. (played just 2 days ago)  ;)   and my art supplies. I pretty much play for a living.
5. Did you ever own a Sony Walkman? A boombox? No to the Walkman, but yes to the boombox.
6. What’s the most played song on your mp3 player???????? I have no clue. I'll guess this one or this one. I listen to them on loop through my earbuds when I need to relax.
7. Who was your best friend in elementary/primary school? Jenny and Jenny.
8. Who is your best friend now? Od. Not to be sappy, but he's really the one person in this world I can say anything to and have my worst day with and he never judges. When I have good news I want to share it with him first. I'd rather be with him than anyone else. As far as female friends....I'd say Julie.
9. Who was your favorite musical group in your early teens (age 13/14)? Post a photo.

depeche mode, obviously 

the doors

10. Who is your favorite musical group now? Post a link to a song of theirs that you like.When it comes to music I can't even begin to narrow down on a favorite. I don't even have a favorite style. But for now, recently, until I buy more music to fixate on........I can't get enough of these guys.
Bonus: What do you think is the secret to a good life? Be a good person. Pay it forward. Make yourself happy. Don't take shit.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

One week down.......and an unintended HNT

*sigh* Not to start on a negative note this morning - which is refreshingly cool and sunny with the crickets and birds both chirping while I listen to them through the open windows and drink my coffee - but I really dislike when I have plans and things don't work out for me. *another sigh*

You see, I've been a dutiful photographer this week documenting my daily treats to myself. And my computer and/or memory card won't cooperate. Rrrgghhhh. Alas, I have no pictures, save one - which I'll get to. You'll have to take my word that in the past week I managed to :

• buy myself 3 pairs of cute sandals. One flippy pair and 2 pairs of espadrilles (my current favorites). They were on sale, I got Kohl's Cash (gotta love that!), they are both comfy and sexy, Od really liked them, and they highlight my.........
• brand new pedicure (and manicure). I prefer them at the salon, but this time was time well spent in my kitchen with my daughter as we soaked our tootsies, filed our nails and helped each other pick out polish colors. I went with a pale pink that turned out not so pale after 2 coats (think Peptol Bismol), and she went with a dark green. Yes. Green. Hers looks better than mine.
• mixed bouquet. I was doing the grocery shopping and the florist had some gorgeous flowers put together with lilies, roses, daisies, snap dragons, and other flowers I don't know the name of, set strategically right inside the door for suckers like me. I grabbed a bouquet up, placed it in the cart and it made me happy all the way through the store and continued to do so for the next few days. $8.00 well spent!
• impromptu lunch at Panera with my sweetie. This eatery is easily becoming our regular go-to when we're being sneaky and grabbing a meal or snack on the sly, away from our kids. I've been experimenting with different choices lately but this time went back to my tried and true favorite : grilled chicken Caesar salad and french onion soup.Yummy!
• lazy day. Saturday was spent basically staying out of Od's way. The water was shut off while he replaced our water heater and I had nothing that was calling me to get done that didn't require plumbing so I drove to McDonald's, bought myself a Coke (theirs is the best, I can't explain why) and happily frittered the day away catching up on my fan fiction reading. All smutty - I can assure you! ;)
• hot wax. I invested in a home waxing system. Not the cheap kind either. The proper kind exactly as our waxer uses. Note I said our. It took me some years to convince Od that while I love his hairy chest, legs, arms, stomach, (happy trail....*sigh*) I do not love his um, well, his back hair. He's 42, has always been a hairy guy, and that stuff just multiplies with age. No man can pull off the full man-sweater look - I don't care how sexy you are. Not that his was that bad, but it was only a matter of time given the situation. So now it's been taken care of but has proven to return quickly and it's cheaper to just do it at home in the long run. Also - have I mentioned that I'm a bit of a sadist? I'm looking forward to having a go at him just a liiiiiittle too much. *big grin*
• zzzzzzzzzzz. I took a nap. Middle of the day. Down to my undies. Should've been thinking about getting dinner ready. Messed up the bed and everything. It lasted over an hour, the house was completely quiet and I got busted - only I didn't know it until I was disrupted by Od telling me to hold still. Why? Because he's a pervert. Here's the proof :

You can thank (or blame) him for this week's HNT. I clearly had nothing to do with it, 'cause if I did you'd be looking at a different pair of undies. Y'all have seen these  already. ;)

HHNT everybody! *kiss*

TMI Tuesday 8/9/11

1. You have been separated from your significant other for six months. An attractive, attentive neighbor has paid you flattering attention. It is obvious he/she wishes to take the relationship further. Do you:
a. Dismiss him/her, you’re in a committed relationship. definitely not this choice. how committed is a relationship if separation is involved? that's just practicing being divorced if you ask me.
b. Continue to flirt, but go no further. this would go on for quite some time.
c. Fantasize about him/her, but take care of your sexual needs solo. this is a given!
d. Let the affair become physical. perhaps, if my emotions about the separation were in a safe place and this neighbor could become a friend. no, if it were to only be a one time thing.
2. A male co-worker whom you have heard is great in bed and very well endowed has been flirting with you a lot. He obviously wishes to start a relationship. Do you:
(This question is for women AND men).
a. Make it clear to him you’re not interested. only if he wasn't my type - AT ALL. (and I have a few types)
b. Flirt with him but go no further sure. like the previous answer, this could go on for awhile. there's nothing wrong with flirting. it's fun for both people. :)
c. Mentally undress him and wonder what he’d be like in bed. I do this to so many people anyway, so yes - absolutely.
d. Let the relationship become sexual. if I'm happily married, then no. if I'm as unhappily married as I've been in the past, then the likelihood is high. I don't think I'd falter the second time around, and I wouldn't wait three years to do it, either.
3. Your significant other is impotent most of the time, showing little interest in you and little interest in being sexual. Do you:
a. Resign yourself to no sex. absolutely not. that's a deal breaker right there. your dick might be uncooperative but by god your mouth and your hands aren't - and I have plenty of toys that are more fun with a partner!!!
b. Satisfy your needs with masturbation well yes, but I don't view masturbation as an either/or action. it's a supplement to a healthy sex life.
c. Find someone who can satisfy you sexually but remain with your significant other i think if my partner was unwilling to try alternatives and divorce wasn't an option - then yes. but i would be upfront about it. ultimately though I feel the relationship would deteriorate.
d. Leave him or her it's nice to honor the "for better or worse" part of marriage vows, but if the impotent partner basically abandoned my sexuality and any hope of recovering the physical aspect to our relationship then i'm afraid i'd have to bail. sexuality is too important to me, and a lack of it is like suffering a slow death while your happiness erodes away.
4. The last time you and your mate had sex, were you:
a. Concentrating mostly on him/her, and you didn’t even orgasm *wicked laugh* hi - i'm Freya. you must be new here. while i'm not saying this doesn't happen, it just doesn't happen a lot. or hardly ever.
b. Thinking about your pleasure and theirs. his pleasure flickered through my thoughts. when i was done.
c. Concentrating mainly on your own pleasure. well....yes. that's why i climbed on top of him in the first place, silly.
d. Used his/her body as a tool to reach your own orgasm. always. that's one of his best attributes. ;)
5. What kind of partner do you prefer while making love or having sex?
a. Tender, loving, slow and sweet it sounds nice in theory, but in practice it just doesn't get the job done. i like saving the slow and sweet part for afterwards. a cool down, if you will.
b. I don’t care, just do me; it’s been a while i always have an opinion on how i want things, unless i'm ovulating. i can always tell because i turn into a cock-hungry sex beast, then i really don't care how, where, why, as long as it's NOW.
c. Tough, take-charge, I like it a little rough yes and no. sometimes. is that unspecific, or what? while i do like it a little rough, i like to be in charge. but soooooooometimes i'd gladly be manhandled and fucked silly seven ways from sunday.
d. Any lovin’ is good lovin’ no it's not actually. there's some lovin' i could have lived without.
Bonus: Do you mind if your significant other ogles/checks out another sexy person? What if they comment on that person, do you mind that? I wouldn't care at all. If he ever did it, which he doesn't. you ever play "freebie five" with your partner? Od couldn't come up with more than two people for his freebie list. and that was after thinking about it for days. i could list 15 off the top of my head. fact is it'd be impossible to narrow down to 5.
Bonus, Bonus: What are your thoughts on the TMI Tuesday image above and the caption beneath it? shit. i didn't include the image when i copied and pasted. i guess that means i didn't think too much about it, did i? *sheepish grin* sorry.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

2 weeks left

I have exactly 2 weeks left to enjoy being 36. I'm not sure what I want to do. Scratch that. I know exactly what I want to do. I want to take a portion of each day and do something just for myself. Get a pedicure, a facial, have a nice lunch out with a friend, maybe some fun shopping trips, a visit to the arboretum or a local museum, see a movie in the middle of the day, or load up my playlist with new music, or buy some fun new art supplies.

It sounds indulgent, doesn't it? I have to admit I'm NOT one of those sacrificing women that won't pamper themselves. I'm not ashamed of it either. I'd rather be nice to myself than sit around wishing someone else would. There's a saying my granny has about wishing in one hand and......you know what? I'll skip that one.

I found this pretty little gem on Tumblr and saved it. I have it as my phone wallpaper. It fits my attitude perfectly.

Not that I need reminding. I discovered as a young girl that my name means princess and I took it to heart. Not in the negative I'm-better-than-you sort of way, just in the I-expect-to-be-treated-right sort of way. Even if I'm the one doing the treating. ;)

And just as a reminder for anyone who'd like to send me a personal birthday wish and is really bad with math - it's on the 18th. *wink wink*

TMI Tuesday 8/2/11

In the Summertime

1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit? yoga capris and a tank top or a strapless sundress. I've practically lived in them all summer unless I go out or teach a class.

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go? Haven't taken one yet, and it's not looking like it will happen, unless Od and I run away from home over Labor Day weekend. We'll probably visit a neighboring state, or further explore our own. *crosses fingers*

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)? I'm a very easy-to-please girl when it comes to travel. I'm versatile, so I'd love to dress up for dinner and a show, strip it all off to flop on the beach, or pack it up to hit the trails. But ideally - put me on the beach and I could stay happy for a long, long time. Tired? Take a nap under an umbrella. Hot? Restless ? Go play in the water. Bored? There's GOOD people watching at the beach. Hungry? A pier restaurant is perfect, or pack a lunch. Food always tastes better outside. See? What's not to love!?! Go back to your room, shower, spend all evening and night "comparing tanlines" then get up late the next day to do it again. Perfect.

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend? I can tell you what I packed for my last naughty weekend. Not all items were used, but the essential kit was : vibrating bullet, LELO Soraya, condoms, lube, dildo, harness, flogger, and (I think) bed restraints.

Oh - and don't forget bottled water and snacks. Nobody wants to get dressed to go get food. And some people can't. Because of the restraints. ;)

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip? I always unpack completely, but I have a toiletry kit that is stocked with duplicates of my favorite products so I can grab and go. It saves me so much time.

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened You can read about it here in Part 1, or here in Part 2, or here in Part 3. Which reminds me I haven't wrapped that up yet.............

or (how about and)

Bonus: Which celebrity would you like to be locked in a hotel room with for 24 hours and what would you do to them. Some of you might be assuming that it would be "the pretty" :

I'm rethinking my answer just from looking at this photo.......

but he likes to drink and smoke too much which leads to whiskey dick and bad breath, plus he spends so much time in a hotel room these days I would never lock him in one. However curiosity has me wondering about this one :

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

and also quite possibly this cutie :

Adam Levine

And as for what I would do with/to them? Well, like I said before I'm a versatile girl, and we wouldn't know until the lock clicks, now would we?    *grins*

This week’s questions were submitted by Heelsnstocking.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!